Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama’s new strategy for dealing with hostage situations…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama’s new strategy for dealing with hostage situations…
…Still involves 18 holes and a couple of small dimpled balls.
…is to pretend that it hasn’t happened until it is too late to do anything…no, wait – that’s his current policy.
… offer more hostages.
…is to bow repeatedly and then assume the fetal position.
…is running dangerously low of captured jihadis to trade.
… is to direct OFA to come up with ways the House GOP is like the hostage takers. Oh… wait… you said *new* strategy…
Be directly responsible for more of them while maintaining as much plausible deniability as possible.
…is to rock back-and-forth with his arms crossed while muttering something about Bush.
…is to smoke some choom and relax. The
problemopportunity is not going away.…is to face Mecca in the prostrate position and pray five times a day.
… is known as “The Other Plan,” in which he selects a victim and threatens not to behead him if the jihadists’ demands are not met. This, for the Purina Brother, was the turning point.
Trick question! He has no strategy.
…is to offer more than the asking price and not take no for an answer.
…have a crowd of a hundred people who look like him attack the hostage takers with even bigger pumpkins.
…play the next round wearing his fake nose and glasses disguise.
Offer a one month special: 10 terrorists for every deserter.
…was devised while watching a National Geographic Ostrich episode.
. . . consists of handing a jar of petroleum jelly to the hostage takers, dropping his pants, and grabbing his ankles.
…is to tell the hostage-takers, “Go ahead and kill them all – I don’t care.” (He saw this work in a movie once, so it has to be a great plan)
…work more on his short game and putting.
…is to realize that he don’t need no stinkin’ strategy.
…is to prepay ransom demands with arms. In that respect, he’s already way ahead!
…is to put Liam Neeson’s number on speed dial.
Look! Squirrel!
…is a two pronged gambit including both bumper stickers and #Hashtags.
…diplomatic immunity!
…raise the minimum wage
…import enough illegal aliens that nobody notices the loss of a couple of citizens here and there
…he’s been saving a particularly clever hashtag
…news blackouts
…investigate and harass reporters doing stories on hostages
…call the hostages racists
…continue not paying attention since so far all beheaded hostages were Jewish…so who cares?
ummm……. something ending in “and a free overnight in the Lincoln Bedroom”
His new strategy is the same as the old one. He’ll continue to hold us hostage until we bow down and make him the High King, or until his term runs out.
… *hey* The first rule of fright club is to not talk about fright club.
… is to commission an autobiography.
… is plenty of Secret Service agents.
What, you meant concerning other people? Then he’s lost interest.
… sanctimonious chin-wagging, a.k.a. SancChins.
President Obama’s new strategy for dealing with hostage situations…
play Bob Barker and “Let’s make a deal!”.
declare all hostages Russian and let Putin deal with it.
promise them all Anonymiss cookies.
just stay on the course, no matter how many holes it takes.
ask the UN to do an extensive study to find the true value of any particular hostage, then wait until Jan 20, 2017.
President Obama’s new strategy for dealing with hostage situations…
…is to threaten to eat the dog unless is demands are met.
…go into campaign mode.
…is whatever the teleprompters say.
…is to threaten to eat the dog unless his demands are met.*
…is to always store threads carefully in an organizer box so they don’t become dirty or snagged. Oops — sorry, that’s his strategy for dealing with cross stitch situations. Never mind.
Now, on to more important issues…have you seen this picture of the President’s desk? You’re welcome. Next question…
…is to never negotiate with terrorists …if there’s anyone watching.
…hope they’re dumb enough to agree to exchange Joe Biden for the hostage, then take the phone off the hook.
…pull a knife on himself and demand they release the hostages or he will behead the President.