[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]
Archive of entries posted on 19th September 2014
Qualified Recommendation
Ignoring the snooty British accent and gratuitous America-bashing, I thought this was a fairly decent explanation of the players in the game
[Iraq Explained — ISIS, Syria and War] (Viewer #563,567)
Challenges
John Kerry said we need to put together “a coalition of countries” to defeat ISIS in Iraq.
Great idea. Now for the tricky part: convincing Obama the US should be one of the countries.
Gun to a Knife Fight
Link of the Day: Satire – GOP Balks, House Democrats Move to Impeach Obama
[High Praise! to ScrappleFace]
GOP Balks, House Democrats Move to Impeach Obama
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Bust Brains Valet Scotland Breath DeVitos Paint Death
When it comes to sculptures of people my attitude is "full body or bust."
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) September 18, 2014
Morgan Freeman: What if we could use 100% of our brains…
*cut to Joe Biden trying to wear two hats at the same time*
Barry! I need help!
— FLOOD-MAN (@tuckerflodman) September 18, 2014
Life Hack: A valet is also a babysitter if you run away before he sees the backseat.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) September 18, 2014
If Scotland leaves the UK, what's to stop England from leaving too
— Froghammer (@froghammer) September 18, 2014
"Baby's Breath" is a weird name for a flower and a weirder thing to see written on an empty jar.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) September 18, 2014
"It's a really long story about a bunch of heroic Danny DeVitos reclaiming a cave." – pitch for Hobbit movies
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) September 19, 2014
"If anyone needs me, I'll be out in blue face paint mooning some Englishmen."
"That's one way to support the referendum!"
"Referwhatnow?"
— Will Antonin (@Will_Antonin) September 19, 2014
If you beat a guy half to death twice is that murder?
— Jazmasta (@jazmasta) September 19, 2014
Wave of the Future
Sprint has introduced a cellphone that’s aimed at kids as young as 5.
Great. So now when you tell them to go play outside, they ask “which app is that?”
Obama Warned Us – Student Loans
The burden of student loan debt is too great. If you agree, go #OnTheRecord: http://ofa.bo/h0tf
“If only it were more manageable. You know, like the national debt that I doubled.”
Straight Line of the Day: It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day. If Obama Were to Talk Like a Pirate, He’d Say…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day. If Obama were to talk like a pirate, he’d say…
Spanking vs. Abuse
Random Thoughts: Ground Troops, Scotland, and Apple
Make sure to read my short story on the truth behind science. It will make you a better person.
It won’t make you a better person. Because you’re great as is.
I’m against sending ground troops into Iraq. Space troops, though, would be awesome.
Remember when President Obama got a Nobel Peace Prize just for existing and some people thought that wasn’t mockable?
So basically, if Scotland secedes, the whole world collapses into anarchy?
I called up Apple and said I forgot my pin code and needed them to retrieve my user data, and they replied, “Nice try, pig!”
“What’s the deal with these serial killings?” -Jerry Seinfeld, homicide detective
A picture is worth a thousand words, but an emoji is worth -3.
So do a lot of people really not like the episode “Fly” from Breaking Bad? Just rewatched it, and it’s a great episode.
Useful Tool
Coming to the US soon: a humanoid robot named “Pepper” that can speak, dance, and make jokes.
Depending on the price tag, Josh Earnest may be out of a job.
Yarrr!
Avast! Ye know what day it be, matey!
And hie thee scurvy carcass thither for to fetch up a pirate name of yer own, says I – Pirate Jake the Fashionably Late