When it comes to sculptures of people my attitude is "full body or bust."
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) September 18, 2014
Morgan Freeman: What if we could use 100% of our brains…
*cut to Joe Biden trying to wear two hats at the same time*
Barry! I need help!
— FLOOD-MAN (@tuckerflodman) September 18, 2014
Life Hack: A valet is also a babysitter if you run away before he sees the backseat.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) September 18, 2014
If Scotland leaves the UK, what's to stop England from leaving too
— Froghammer (@froghammer) September 18, 2014
"Baby's Breath" is a weird name for a flower and a weirder thing to see written on an empty jar.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) September 18, 2014
"It's a really long story about a bunch of heroic Danny DeVitos reclaiming a cave." – pitch for Hobbit movies
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) September 19, 2014
"If anyone needs me, I'll be out in blue face paint mooning some Englishmen."
"That's one way to support the referendum!"
"Referwhatnow?"
— Will Antonin (@Will_Antonin) September 19, 2014
If you beat a guy half to death twice is that murder?
— Jazmasta (@jazmasta) September 19, 2014
If you beat a guy half to death twice, is that murder?
No, at that point, he’s only 3/4 of the way dead. In fact, you cannot beat a man to death, for you must first beat him half to death, and the half to death again, and so on.
It’s the mobster version of Zeno’s paradox.
NOofC, a million half truths later and the Democrats have been lying to you all day.