Archive of entries posted on 10th September 2014

Wisdom of the Day: Hulk Date Buy Life Doctors Product White Fedora Husbands Interaction

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ISIS Should Have the Left Fuming

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I’ve been wondering why my liberal friends aren’t outraged by what ISIS is doing in Iran and Syria. My talk about beheadings and totalitarian leanings don’t seem to sway them at all. Maybe we need to change the spin a bit to get the left upset with this group. Here are some things ISIS is doing that should get liberals outraged:

  • Paying their women 0% of the salary they pay their men
  • Using guns with magazines holding more than 10 rounds
  • Many of their beheaders aren’t officially licensed
  • The rats in their opium processing tents weren’t wearing hairnets
  • Jihadis aren’t provided with healthcare that covers abortions
  • Their soldiers aren’t unionized
  • Their bombs lack the governmentally required safeguards
  • Their camels emit copious amounts of greenhouse gases
  • Their nerve gas was tested on animals
  • Jihadi transports don’t have enough seatbelts
  • The use of lead in their bullets is not environmentally sound
  • Excessive ululating increases atmospheric carbon dioxide
  • The children they kidnap aren’t given sex education courses before being sold to pimps
  • They don’t seem to realize that Obama has changed the world already

Random Thoughts: Apple Watch

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Maybe the iPhone 6 will be rotary. I miss rotary phones.

Now they just introduced the iDuct Tape which makes the iPhone wearable.

Apple could probably get away with just slapping an Apple logo on what Samsung came out with last year and no one paid attention to.

Tim Cook just announced that they’ve teamed up with the Obama administration to make the new Apple Watch mandatory.

When will they answer the main question on everyone’s mind: Will it have a Dick Tracy app?

I have to wait until next year? I guess I’ll set an alert on my Apple Watch to tell me when… oh.

Tim Cook: “Apple products preform 27% better than a dog in continuing to love you when no one else will.”

Eh. I think I’ll let you guys beta test these things and get gen 2.

Is it worth $350 to not have to pull my phone out of my pocket to see who just texted me?

So no mention of battery life?
“What time is it, Apple Watch?”
“Time to charge me!”

For the socially conscious, your fancy new Apple Watch will occasionally give you a text alert to care about poor people.

Oh, the Apple Watch doesn’t have a battery. You have to keep it plugged in all the time.

If you can handle me at my peak, you don’t deserve me at my normal traffic levels.

I like playing indie video games. It makes me feel cultured.

There’s a strong correlation between the decline in popularity of Mr. T and the rise in jibber jabber.

Was thinking I’d pass on Apple Watch, but checking out on http://Apple.com , it’s actually pretty nifty looking.

I think it looks stupid with the sports bands, but the other options are pretty. Wondering about cost, though.

And I like that they actually focused on it keeping good, accurate time. Not like the iPhone not being a good phone.