17 Comments

  1. To stop climate change, President Obama issued an executive order to…

    dress up his foot stomping and breath holding in more grown-up sounding language.

    have the IRS examine Mother Nature’s past tax returns.

    have humans stop breeding. Amazingly similar to college Feminists new rules on college campuses.

  2. …mandate that all Americans follow the edict of the Pope…except for the anti-abortion part.

    …inject the climate with a massive dose of Botox – that’ll hold it for a while…

    …burn all climate deniers at the stake….no, burning is out, but hangin’s too good for ’em…I know – force them to work as community climate organizers!

  3. …stop eating beef, and not resume this sinful activity until the Kobe cows come home.

    …ban Chinese butterflies from flapping their wings.

    …force the newly reformed Weather Underground to recruit the weather.

    …turn the US into a freak show and make Mother Nature pay admission plus having a three feet of sea level drink minimum.

  4. To stop climate change, President Obama issued an executive order to…

    allow the country to be overrun with scummy 3rd world invaders….oh wait, he already did that.
    give nukes to our greatest enemy so they can kill 2/3 of the population….oh wait, he already did that.
    destroy the healthcare system so people die at 50….oh wait, he already did that.
    put so many people on welfare that the country goes bankrupt and the ensuing civil war kills 2/3 of the population….oh wait, he already did that.

    I give up.

  5. … outlaw daily temperature cycles, annual seasonal cycles, and quadrennial presidential cycles: everything must remain status quo. He’ll delegate this to John Kerry, an expert at getting off cycles suddenly.

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