[High Praise! to Neatorama]
CAUTION: a few of these are in questionable taste.
If Animal Names Were Totally Honest
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. DamnCat’s not going to like one of them.
Mosquito = Just-Stay-There-For-One-More-Second.
Bat = Flying Tennis Ball
Rockfish: aka “The how-you-gonna-clean-that-thing? fish.” (spines all the way to your finger bones! My 4 yr.-old son named them “Flukey Fluter Fish”)
Canadian Geese: aka, “Cover-your-yard-in-green-sh!t” birds. (aka flying sh!t tanks, distant relatives of the Seattle Marsh Hawks)
Raccoons: aka “You think those are YOUR strawberries?” (aka masked rat bastids)
Butterfly: Aimless Waste Of The Power of Flight.
Dog: Hey Buddy!
Around here we call Canada Geese “Sky Carp.”
@6 – As one who is familiar with the scumfish that are carp, I bestow Perfect Nickname Bacon on you for that one.
Squirrels aka Fuzzy Tailed Tree Rats.