Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
not dying.
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
gigolos and blow.
…potatoes!
…more meat, Madam.
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
voting democratic. Think about it.
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
bringing a gun to a knife fight.
…Cookies! with your bacon.
I asked that question of my grandmother before she died at 97.
And I quote:
“The amount of meat I ate all my life. A lot of meat.”
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
…fast cars and fast women.
…tequila and cigars.
…waking up every morning
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
no longer acceptable to the Feminist crowd.
…never ever stop ___________.
…occasionally “dropping your trousers and sliding on the ice”.
…avoiding ‘death panels’.
… counting your age in metric instead of imperial units.
…avoiding Planned Parenthood.
…what difference, at this point, does it make?
…if you’re not Jack Reacher, avoiding a confrontation with Jack Reacher.
…don’t be the chubby guy in the rock band.
…be the legal guardian, sibling or parent of a teenage girl.
…have all your ducks in a row and eat one when you’re starving.
…if you’re a terrorist and the U.S. military is coming, wearing Mount Everest for a hat can’t hurt.
Bacon!
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
…no longer a secret now.
…I never exercised a day in my life. Every morning, I wake up, and I smoke a cigarette. And then I eat five strips of bacon. And for lunch, I eat a bacon sandwich. And for a midday snack? Bacon! A whole damn plate! And I usually drink my dinner. Now according to all of them flat-belly experts, I should’ve took a dirt nap like thirty years ago. But each year comes and goes, and I’m still here. Ha! And they keep dyin’. You know? Sometimes I wonder if God forgot about me.
@ #5 – walruskkkch (!!!shakes fist!!!)
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
…to vote Democrat! They dig you up every election so you can vote! If they bury me in Chicago, I’ll NEVER die!
…”having a plan to kill everyone I meet.”
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
never join an away team if you are wearing a Red Shirt.
…carefully follow the healthy behaviors you observe in people older than yourself. Then kill them.
….was eating bacon every day, didn’t you read the story?
The world’s oldest woman says that the secret to long life is…
avoid picnic invitations to Fort Marcy Park from pigs in pantsuits.
stay away from gun free zones, Mooch school lunches, Muslim countries, Baltimore, Detroit, Ferguson, Memphis, New Orleans, a John Kerry speech or clarification, MSLSD, airline food, imported Mexican water, Bill Cosby prescriptions, and last but not least, not tying your food budget to the scalping of Cleveland Browns Super Bowl tickets.
@26 Gumbeaux: And Seattle. And if you’re in the Soviet State of Washington, GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT OF THERE!
Wait…
…more cowbell. The Reaper hates cowbell.