30 Comments

  1. Scientists are developing a computer chip for your brain that will…

    make the blue screen of death very, very real.

    have nothing at all to do with controlling your thoughts. Trust us, we are from the Government and we are here to help.

    not work properly unless you upgrade now.

    be easily reset using Ctrl+Alt+Delete.

    mean, all thoughts belong us.

    US Ambassadors will finally have access to Hilllary’s private Email.

  2. … (a) set off metal detectors at airports, thus
    (b) get you on a no-fly list, and thus
    (c) make you ineligible to own a gun, per Obama’s new Commune-sense legislation.

    … in Tara Reid, have exactly one Tarabyte of memory.

  3. …give you instant, even constant access to any and all of Obama’s speeches, at the whim of Obama.

    …make buying Frank’s books redundant, but you’ll do it anyway to make his tree murdering business an incredibly lucrative sideline.

    …make you give up your baby killing, Christian hating terrorist activities to join the Democrats, where you can do some real damage.

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