Straight Line of the Day: Completely Out of Ideas, Hollywood’s Next Big Release Will Be a Reboot of…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Completely out of ideas, Hollywood’s next big release will be a reboot of…

48 Comments

  1. Completely out of ideas, Hollywood’s next big release will be a reboot of…

    Attack of the killer Shrews with an all-female cast featuring Amy Schumer, Lena Dunham, Rosie O’Donnell and Joy Behar…

  2. Completely out of ideas, Hollywood’s next big release will be a reboot of…

    Faster P*ssycat, Kill! Kill!, with an all-female cast featuring Amy Schumer, Lena Dunham, Rosie O’Donnell and Joy Behar…

  3. Completely out of ideas, Hollywood’s next big release will be a reboot of…

    an old Oscar Meyer weiner commercial with an all-female cast featuring Amy Schumer, Lena Dunham, Rosie O’Donnell and Joy Behar…

  4. . . . Ghostbusters, with an entirely transgender cast. Hilarity and general confusion ensue when Zuul manifests, zuul being the pronoun of choice for one of the gender-fluid Busters. And speaking of gender fluid, a moving lesson in dignity and respect is felt by all when the Busters allow the river of slime to bubble up through toilets in bathrooms for the gender of its own choosing. Bring the whole family*! [*However you, or zhu, or xe, or san, or whatever you prefer, define “family.”]

    Regarding “san” – a student at a dojo insisted that the sensei refer to xer with the honorific “san,” which is normally reserved for the instructors or more gifted students, because calling low-ranking students “miss” or “mister” is a h8 crime, or something.
    http://thefederalist.com/2017/06/19/dont-mind-using-preferred-pronouns-mind-forced/?utm_content=buffer56624&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

  5. … classic routines:

    CITIZEN: “So why did that guy shoot 100 rounds from third base?

    FBI: “I don’t know.”

    CITIZEN: “I mean the guy’s motive.”

    FBI: “I don’t know.”

    CITIZEN: “The Bernie supporter. . . .”

    FBI: “I don’t know.”

    CITIZEN: “… with the list of Republicans in his pocket?”

    FBI: “I don’t know.”

    CITIZEN {holding back anger}: “Look; you had a shooter at third, right?”

    FBI: “Of course we did! Now what kind of a mass assassination attempt on Congress would it be if there wasn’t one?”

    CITIZEN: “So being a good investigative agency, you investigated the shooting.”

    FBI: “Of course.”

    CITIZEN: “So you wanted to find out who did it.”

    FBI: “We found out who first.”

    CITIZEN: “And to find out what weapon he used.”

    FBI: “Oh, that was second.”

    CITIZEN: “And next you wanted to find out why the guy did it.”

    FBI: “That’s right. I don’t know.”

    CITIZEN: “And what did you find?”

    FBI: “That’s what I’m trying to tell you! I don’t know.”

    CITIZEN: “Is there an NBC show you’ll give an interview to?”

    FBI: “Today.”

    CITIZEN: “And what about the rest of us?”

    FBI: “Tomorrow.”

  6. Completely out of ideas, Hollywood’s next big release will be a reboot of…

    Hollywood.

    The whole thing is going to be chucked out the window and an entirely new set of writers brought in to rework all the reworks that were reworked by the current Hollywood.

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