Straight Line of the Day: ICE Caught 100,000 Border Crossers in the Last Month. Why Is Everyone Coming to America?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

ICE caught 100,000 border crossers in the last month. Why is everyone coming to America?

69 Comments

  1. ICE caught 100,000 border crossers in the last month. Why is everyone coming to America?

    Home
    To a new and a shiny place
    Make our bed and we’ll say our grace
    Freedom’s light burning warm
    Freedom’s light burning warm

    Everywhere around the world
    They’re coming to America
    Ev’ry time that flag’s unfurled
    They’re coming to America

    Got a dream to take them there
    They’re coming to America
    Got a dream they’ve come to share
    They’re coming to America

  2. ICE caught 100,000 border crossers in the last month. Why is everyone coming to America?

    Only in America
    Can a guy from anywhere
    Go to sleep a pauper
    And wake up a millionaire

    Only in America
    Can a kid without a cent
    Get a break and maybe
    Grow up to be President

    Only in America
    Land of opportunity, yeah
    Would a classy girl like you
    Fall for a poor boy like me

    Only in America
    Can a kid who’s washin’ cars
    Take a giant step and reach right up
    And touch the stars

    Only in America
    Could a dream like this come true
    Could a guy like me start with nothing
    And end up with you

    Only in America
    Land of opportunity, yeah
    Would a classy girl like you
    Fall for a poor boy like me

  3. ICE caught 100,000 border crossers in the last month. Why is everyone coming to America?

    I’m not totally sure but I certainly won’t claim its because of Aliens but…its because of Aliens.

  4. ICE atrapó 100,000 cruces fronterizos en el último mes. ¿Por qué todos vienen a América?

    SLotD now available in Spanish by pressing the SAP button on your device’s menu screen.


  5. Here we come
    Walking ’round the fence
    Get the funniest looks from
    All the citizens

    Hey! Hey! We’ve Got Junkies!
    And Dems are throwin’ money around!
    But we don’t want no stinkin’
    Badges trying to run us down.

  6. I’m tired
    Tired of laws uninspired
    Tired of fences unwired

    Immigrants —
    They’re always coming and going, and going and coming
    And always too soon

    Let’s face it, fellas: we’re duped!

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