“Yes, I *am* glad you didn’t say banana… I don’t get it…”
After if was explained to her that “a liberal YouTube viewer” might’ve been a more accurate line in this case, AOC fired the “impertinent” staffer.
Also fired was the staffer who tried explaining that hyperbole wasn’t the same as dry humor.
On the advice of a third, as-yet-unfired staffer, AOC agreed to investigate other types of humor that might garner her fewer mean tweets and eye-rolls.
“I was considering going with light bulb jokes” said Ocasio-Cortez, “but then I heard the one about feminists… that’s not funny… Also, I didn’t get it.”
“Turns out light bulb jokes are even harder than dry humor.”
After firing staffer #3 for his stupid suggestion, AOC decided to try her hand at something “so simple a sea sponge won’t think it’s literal.” Exuding her trademark optimism, she began telling knock-knock jokes to a sea sponge she found in the janitor’s closet. Frustrated by its refusal to say the straight line portion, she had it fired and enlisted the help of a staffer she found who had been hiding her face behind an open file folder while crouching behind a plastic ficus and pre-emptively updating her resume on Monster.com.
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there”
“Climb”
“Climb who”
“Climb-ate change is going to kill us all in 12 years unless we enact the Green New Deal”
[blink blink]
“You didn’t laugh. You’re fired. Take the sea sponge and get out.”
An intern in the corner squeaked timidly, “I think you’re going to need to hire some more staffers”.
“OO! That’s perfect” AOC said. “Knock knock”
“Who’s there”
“Hire”
“Hire who”
“Hire taxes for rich people will pay for the Green New Deal!”
The intern curled up into a ball, weeping.
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there”
“Boo”
“Boo who?”
“I’ll give you something to cry about. You’re fired! Get out of here!”
While surveying her empty office, Ocasio-Cortez made a puzzled eyebrow-crinkle, staring at the walls.
“Huh… maybe I should’ve said ‘depression is treatable, get help.’
“Oh well,” she sighed. “Wonder if I have another sea sponge?”
—–
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Well at least she didn’t try Babylon Bee styled satire. Lots of people take that as real news.
File that “social intelligence of a sea sponge” stuff under the “I know you are, but what am I” classification.
Snopes is gonna have a field day with this.
I’m hopin’ for a snopin’ at some point.
My prediction is before the end of July
knock knock. Who’s there? Ima. Ima who? Ima Nidiot.
knock knock. Who’s there. Dem. Dem who? Dem people what voted for me is stoopider than I is.
knock knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green like a friggin’ moron whenever I speak.
who’s there. knock knock. wow, I must be psychic.
Bacon to you for that last one.
Had to read it three times before it clicked
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Uh, me?
Uh, me who?
Me, AOC!
D’uh, you some kind of sponge thingy?
Knock, knock.
Come in.
…
Come in who?
Commie, not come in.
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