Straight Line of the Day: You KNEW There’d Be a Halloween Question. This Year, a Prime Costume Will Be…

Straight Line of the Day: You KNEW there’d be a Halloween question. This year, a good costume will be…

49 Comments

  1. A kid dressed in a suit, with a tie and glasses on, carrying a briefcase that has the letters ” IRS” on the side.
    He then says ” our audit shows you owe us half your candy “

    • Wait. You bring up a good point.

      From now on, if you appear in blackface, people can’t yell “Racist!”

      “What are you talking about?” you will say. “I’m mocking Justin Trudeau or the Virginia governor. Or Ted Danson. They’re all white guys. How is that racist?”

      Just be sure you have a lot of time to listen to their comeback, and are ready to pull out your wallet and pay reparations.

  2. The costume AOC will wear – Tell her that evil fossil fuel giants Mobil and Chevron are going to merge, and to protest the merger, she needs to wear a shirt displaying the proposed new name – Mo-Ron

  3. You KNEW there’d be a Halloween question. This year, a good costume will be…

    pulling your trousers up to your armpits (or as high as you can get them) and going as Jerry Nadler.

  4. …a government mole dressed as a mint flavored peach. “I’m peach mint. Get it? Teehee.”

    …Lenny Bruce, dressed as a mime.

    …an Islamic terrorist wearing a NRA t-shirt.

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