Straight Line of the Day: The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
James Bond Film Has 3 Endings
WDEL News Radio | 10/22/19
Straight Line of the Day: The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
James Bond Film Has 3 Endings
WDEL News Radio | 10/22/19
… the Genocide Route ending, where Bond shoots everyone he encounters throughout the entire film, even at MI6 or in public places.
…containing a pea. The other two are empty.
Dr. Bob (Newhart) Hartley waking up in bed with wife Emily, telling her about a strange dream he had of being a secret agent battling world corruption and villainous forces. And Three Woodsman…of which only one of them talked.
…Miss Scarlet in the hallway with the revolver.
…Captain Willard calling in a napalm strike on the secret jungle compound.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
possibly decent.
…Eric Swallwell cropdusting reporters on national television.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
well, I’m not saying it is introducing the new James Bond as being an Alien but… it’s introducing the new James Bond as an Alien.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
revealing that it was Blofeld in the Library using a candlestick.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
revealing the mysterious third possible pronunciation of Basil
Harvey Award Time!
Ceremony to be held in an undisclosed lair.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
the triumphant return of Sean Connery, the only true Bond.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
one you can use to wish for more endings.
… the sudden, unexpected demise of man who knows too much…
… “Ackk”…
He be Clintonized.
Like, with a cloth?
He ain’t noways tie-rodded.
…for each of the Stooges.
…a weird world where Epstein could have killed himself.
…leaving you hanging!
A happy ending with Pussy Galore.
That’s fairly obligatory isn’t it?
it is, according to Weinstein’s Special Theory of Roll Activity
LEEROY JENKINS!
…Bond being saved by Kanye West.
… Bond shoots the bad guy (Hedley), then he and Jim go into a theater to see the other two endings.
Sounds like a French Mistake.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
is the number of the counting. No more, no less.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
like the inner part of a Russian nesting doll.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
wokest of wokey woke endings of the woke variety.
… during the closing credits, Sheila Jackson-Lee asking where James Bond planted a Union Jack flag on Mars. Cut to a cameo of Sean Connery doing a double face palm.
She’s a genius. Just ask her.
But don’t expect her to reply unless you have a tv camera on her.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
how Epstein didn’t kill himself.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
a Monkey seeing no Evil.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
very interesting because it shows that Hillary Clinton did….Aaack!
…the Scooby Doo ending where we find that SPECTRE is actually run by Old Man Jenkins.
Hmmm, would that be Old Man Leeroy Jenkins?
…The Spanish Inquisition. NOBODY was expecting that!
…exposes the videos of Prince Andrew on Epstein’s island.
That’s a Clintonizing right there feller.
… James Bond goes into private practice, and has an identity crisis when his first employee turns out to be Remington Steele.
…involves the gender reveal of Bond’s love child with Ms. Moneypenny, where Bond plans to toss smoke grenades at the guests of either red or blue, but they have been surreptitiously replaced by Blofeld with grey smoke grenades.
They didn’t use the Holy Hand grenade of Antioch?
…Bond standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at him. So, basically, your typical ending.
Sounds like one of my usual dreams. Expect for the pickle part. It’s usually cocktail weiners.
…Bond was a ghost the whole time.
— Spy-lore Alert —
…Bond declares “Frankly, M, I don’t give a damn.” and walks away.
… Julie Newmar is shown as the Special Guest Villainess for the next Bond movie, her goal involving the tuna bullion supply at Fort Nocks.
You had me with the first four words.
If that doesn’t get Connery out of retirement, nothing will.
Julie Newmar…[purrr]
Thanks for everything!
Bond turns out to be the next Bond villain AND the next Bond girl at the same time.
Trans heroes, villains, and love interests are tight!
That sounds a little too, err, tight.
If I drink enough Scotch I get tight.
Fair enough.
…the last 5 minutes of the movie are replaced with the first 5 minutes of the movie “Heidi”.
Next Jets game replaced by the first 105 minutes of the movie Heidi.
…Q changes his name to MacGyver and moves to America.
Bond is replaced with Gorilla Glue.
… the one where the bad guy doesn’t not expect Bond to die, and Bond does not fail not to live.
Too many nots.
It’s an Interpolwoven, Gordian plot.
Time to gin up a solution.
Which brings up the interesting question: has anyone ever unraveled the Gordon’s knot?
No.
… the one where Bond invents the Aston Martini. Genius!
Driven, not steered.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
… being streamed from inside your own house!
… going to end with a real Cliff-hanger.
(for all values of Clinton informants code-named “Cliff.”)
… Ginger, one is Mary Ann, and one is Jeannie.
— talk about choice . . .
You can see all three.
… John Steed asking him why he doesn’t have a hot sidekick.
…Bond is mortally wounded, then regenerates into Jodie Whittaker.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
Bond declaring that he is Luke’s father.
… Bond tells Schiff, “I don’t expect you to talk, I expect you to lie!”
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
good, one of them is bad, and one of them is ugly.
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
too hot, one of them is too cold, one of them is just right.
… not worth one tenth of the ending of one of Frank J’s novels, available now at fine booksellers everywhere.
(Walrus)
Yes?
Oh.
Yes!
The new James Bond film has three endings. One of them is…
They got woke so I’m gonna guess that in all three they’re gonna go broke.