Deciphering Leftist-Speak

Deciphering Leftist-speak may seem like a daunting task sometimes. However, once you know the key to translating their forked-tongue double-speak, it becomes surprisingly easy.

And that key is simply this: Leftists lie about everything. Everything. No matter what seemingly pleasant or reasonable sounding words may be pouring forth from their filthy sewers, you may always rest assured that whatever they’re saying is NOT what they really mean. And why might that be, you ask? Because, if The Left was open and honest about their true intentions and ultimate goals, the vast majority of right-thinking, freedom-loving Americans would have told them where to stick it decades ago. The Left is well aware of that fact; therefore, the constant lies.

So, to help the uninitiated, here is a handy guide to many of the Left’s favorite words and phrases and their translation.

Love, Hugs and Kisses,

Comrade Chairman Obama

AK-47 or AR-15: Any scary-looking rifle

Arsenal: Plural of “firearm”; arsenals can be found in compounds

Assault Weapon: Any firearm, especially those scary-looking black rifle thingies that are clearly machine guns

Bi-Partisan: Our way or the highway

Civil discourse: We can say anything we want, but you need to shut the f*** up, you conservative piece of s***

Climate change: You need to give up yet more money and freedom so we can pretend to fix something that isn’t broken and over which we have no control

Common Good: Socialism, aka, what’s good for us (see “We”)

Common Sense Reform: We need you to give up more of your freedom and money

Compassion: Our deep, warm, heartfelt desire to use government intervention against our opponents

Compound: Home of anyone who owns at least one firearm; where arsenals are found

Conservative: A piece of human garbage unworthy of respect or the protections of the rule of law

Divisive: You need to stop speaking ill of our Glorious Socialist Agenda, peasant

Fair Share: We’re going to rob “the rich” blind and give it to our favorite charity – us! (see “The Rich”)

Fairness: Socialism

Fascist: Anyone who disagrees with us

Fear Monger: Stop pointing out our lies and misinformation

First Amendment/Freedom of Speech: We are free to say whatever the heck we want; anyone who disagrees with us, on the other hand, needs to shut the f*** up

Fiscal Responsibility: We need more of your money

Glock: Any handgun

Great Society: Socialist Society

Greedy: Anyone providing valuable goods and services and expects people to pay for them

Hate/Hate Crime: How dare you point out our complete and utter moral turpitude!

High-Capacity Magazine: Any magazine over five rounds

High-Capacity Semi-Automatic Handgun: Any handgun

I’m Sorry: I’m so very, very, truly and sincerely sorry I got caught, and I’m only apologizing because there’s absolutely no possible way to spin this

It’s Trump’s Fault: It’s Trump’s fault

Loophole: Some oversight in the law that facilitates freedom and liberty

Misspoke: Yeah, that’s exactly what I said, and meant, except you’re not allowed to point it out, so shut yer piehole

Moderate Conservative: Someone who claims to be conservative but rolls over and always agrees with us

Multi-cultural: Anything but American culture

New Deal: Socialist Revolution

Open Minded: Those enlightened people who unquestioningly embrace Socialism as the answer to all things

Patriotic: ?? (that one’s a melon-scratcher)

The People: We, The Leftist Elite

Proof: Anything we say or believe

Racist/White Supremist: I’ll teach you to disagree with me!

Resource: That which is available for confiscation and redistribution

The Rich: All those people who are doing so much better than we are financially and we’re insanely jealous of so we’ll make them pay their fair share!

Rule of Law: We’re going to twist and mangle the law in any way necessary to destroy you

The Science Is Settled: How DARE you question our legions of Democrat-funded “scientists” whose “studies” support our political agenda! You shall pay for your heresy!

Selfishness: The disdainful quality of those who wish to keep most of the fruits of their own labor and decide for themselves how it should be spent [related: “Greed”]

Sniper: Any person who owns or has access to a firearm

Sniper Rifle: Any firearm that’s not a handgun

Social Justice: Socialism

Social Security: Socialist’s security

Special Interest: Any political entity that disagrees with us

Spread the Wealth: I don’t wanna work

Sustainable: To be under perpetual, never-ending government control

That’s Offensive: I’ll teach you to point out my: 1) stupidity; 2) separation from reality; 3) over-all suckage; 4) illegal activity

Tolerance: a) tolerance for any behavior except anything remotely Judeo-Christian in nature; b) our unfettered and unopposed reign of Socialist glory

Uncle Tom: This uppity American of African descent wandered off our Leftist Plantation

We: The Socialists; the collective; the elitist government hive

We Don’t Want To Take ANYONE’S Guns Away: Of course we want to totally ban all guns – we can’t take control while all you peasants are still armed!

That’s Not What We Said or Meant: You hit the nail on the head! Shut up before people start believing you! (see Misspoke)

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