After 75 years, someone has emerged from an underground shelter and found…
That the baby boomers they were about to have would vote in an entitlement welfare state and surrender the freedoms they just finished fighting for and everyone is now a slave to a little black rectangle they carry around all the time.
…they really regret not hitting the snooze button.
…looked around, and said “I just spent four years beating Nazis. You call THESE Nazis? Get over here so I can smack some sense into your head.”
“What the hell you got stuck through your nose? Are you trying to look like a cow or something?”
… high end restaurants are still secretly switching their coffee with Folger’s crystals
… they have now entered the Twilight Zone.
After 75 years, someone has emerged from an underground shelter and found…
the Nazis won.
After 75 years, someone has emerged from an underground shelter and found…
their occupational hazard is their occupation is just not around.
After 75 years, someone has emerged from an underground shelter and found…
the Cubs won a World Series? You sh*ttin’ me?
What? AND the Red Sox? Jeeeezus on the cross!
After 75 years, someone has emerged from an underground shelter and found…
it’s not Basil anymore but Basil.
… a shadow, and you know what that means…
After 75 years, someone has emerged from an underground shelter and found…
That the baby boomers they were about to have would vote in an entitlement welfare state and surrender the freedoms they just finished fighting for and everyone is now a slave to a little black rectangle they carry around all the time.
…they woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.
…it was the wrong time to stop sniffing glue.
…they were in violation of a lock-down order and got hauled off to a jail cell.
…that all his friends were dead but his mother-in-law was still alive.
…that he was really hungry, for brains.
…a liquor store.
…the things he thought worth fighting for, like God, Country and even the pursuit of happiness are now racist.
…he had been voting Democrat all these years.
…the diners he couldn’t eat at are now owned by black people and are being burned down by black people.
…himself being pulled down and thrown in a river.
…the Spam they left in the pantry is still as edible as it ever was.
… YouTube videos of snowflakes saying they are offended by someone’s emergence from an underground shelter . . .
…he is suffering from a Vitamin D deficiency.
…bright lights hurt his eyes.
… Detroit. He had entered the shelter fearing a coming apocalypse. His last words were “this proves me right….”
… a great deal of unwanted attention from the IRS…
..he was better off in the hole.
… that Nancy Pelosi looks, if anything, younger than he remembered.
… became an instant folk-hero for twenty-somethings everywhere…
After 75 years, someone has emerged from an underground shelter and found…
Captain America had beaten him to it, and gotten all the glory.
Their groove.
After 75 years, someone has emerged from an underground shelter and found…
…that a nineteen forty Ford is still a better looking automobile than a twenty twenty Ford.
…his marriage to that Betty Grable pin-up would probably be legal today.
…an AARP application on the doorstep.
…the New York Times was still run by commies.