Straight Line of the Day: If this movie were made today….
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… it would be free…
If this movie were made today….
it would be immediately cancel because of the Director’s racism.
If this movie were made today….
it would be a miracle.
…there would definitely be no cats in it.
Because Griffith was a racist.
Technically, that would be a speciesist, but you cats think your people anyway.
You people think your cats. So there.
…you’d have to make out with your honey in the back row while wearing masks and sitting 6 feet apart.
…the protagonists would be wearing MAGA hats.
…it would be an all-female, all-minority cast.
BIPOC is the new normal.
… it would be cobbled together from whatever footage was available, edited into 25 segments of about 55 minutes each, and offered to every platform scrambling for content at confiscatory rates….
…environmental impact studies would be required.
…it would be directed by Rob Reiner.
… being a talkie, it would finally answer the age-old question, Basil or Basil…
… the movie poster would either have every character’s face on it, or just the name of the movie in all-caps in an Impact-style font.
With one or two of the main stars kinda bigger at the front and then all the rest of the cast moving backwards just a bit like if you looked down from above they would make a V shape. And all with a blue or orange color scheme behind it.
And maybe some lens flare if the budget allowed.
There’s always budget for lens flare.
“You just had to mess with the CrazyGlue, Dincha?”
We’d of never known that the screen’s first Tarzan was in that movie as an American soldier.
The director would crush his enemies, we’d see them driven before him and hear the lamentations of their women!
As an aside, I can’t believe I’m the first who thought of that.