Straight Line of The Day: Uh Oh! It seems there’s a national coin shortage. That means…
National Coin Shortage Prompts Giant Supermarkets To Limit Cash Transactions
Pennlive.com | 07/03/2020 | John LuciewThose pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters are far more precious due to a national coin shortage brought on by the coronavirus and resulting shut down.
As a result, the Giant supermarkets chain is the newest member of a growing list of retailers limiting cash transactions and/or demanding exact change.
“Due to the national coin shortage, select Giant registers can only accept credit, debit, and electronic payments at this time,” company spokesman Christopher Brand said in response to PennLive questions about coin shortages on Friday.
As the New York Post reports, Lowe’s home improvement stores have posted signs urging shoppers to pay with exact change or use other forms of payment, as have convenience stores such as 7-Eleven, Pilot and Circle K, according to news reports and social media posts.
No more dimes to pay the toll to the town of Rock Ridge.
“Brother, Can You Spare a Dime” will be added to the pantheon of pre-sporting event anthems…
[Lamarr’s posse rides up on Bart’s diversion: a single tollbooth in the middle of the desert]
Taggart: [1:19:44] Le Petomane Thruway? Now what’ll that a**hole think of next?
[turns to the posse]
Taggart: Has anybody got a credit card?
[henchmen grumble, search their pockets]
Taggart: Somebody’s gotta go back and get a s**t-load of credit cards!
“IMAO done took all our bitcoins…”
…. all future sales will be rounded up to the next whole dollar. Proceeds will benefit Antifa and BLM, in the hope that rioting will subside a bit…
… Joe Biden now has another excuse for his inability to put in his two cents worth
… Pelosi will be blaming Trump for her lack of common cents
… my recently downloaded Bitcoins are now more valuable – that’s how it works, doesn’t it?
… eco-sensitive weenies will be reduced to washing their clothes in washbasins and hanging them to dry…
If I had a nickel for every time my cashier ran out of change…
We’ll soon be paying fines with poultry.
Why a ducat; why-a no chicken?
… piggy banks will be hardest hit…
Literally…
Hope’n for Change
Penny pinching will henceforth carry a 5 year sentence
Grifters will now only accept credit cards.
And two-bit grifters are out right out.
See a penny.
Pick it up
All the day the woke will scream inequality.
Give the penny to a friend and your vilification for being not sufficiently woke will never end.
Boomers all around the country will be slapping themselves on the forehead and lamenting the poor advice to never take wooden nickels.
… my mint condition bicentennial quarters will now be worth 26 cents each! Cha-Ching!
… now you’ll be able to get two 1-ups for 100 coins.
….it’s now in for a penny, in for a gram.
I won’t be able to offer someone a quarter to call someone who gives a hoot.
…too many people have been throwing coins to their Witchers.
Joan Jett devastated; juke boxes don’t take plastic.
… Hillary’s two-headed coin will be the only one available for the next close election.
… Football games will have to begin with team captains guessing the flips in Biden’s positions.
Uh Oh! It Seems There’s a National Coin Shortage. That Means…
they went somewhere. Now where could that be?
Uh Oh! It Seems There’s a National Coin Shortage. That Means…
an audit of the Franklin Mint.
Shave and a haircut… Two bucks
Wishing Wells hardest hit!
Charon will start taking credit.
Now, if this weren’t IMAO, and just the general internet, that would win an Obscury. But Harvey wouldn’t have had to Google it.
Apple pay the Ferryman.
That’s my story and I’m gonna Styx with it.
Don’t Fear Demonetizer
…Mario’s been hoarding them again. Somebody’s gotta stop him from hogging all those coins.
Perhaps Low-Wagey?
If I was owed a nickel for everytime a liberal was right, my fortune prospects would be unchanged.
…at the start of every NFL game, they will toss Colin Kaepernick instead.
Well he is such a tosser.
…Penney Marshall a sure bet in the next Babesleaga.
…video arcades will go out of business.
-Oh no! Too late!