“He’s always telling the most outrageous stories about how he saved the world from this villain or that. One had a weather machine. One was going to steal all the gold in Fort Knox. One was going to kill the everyone on earth and create a new civilization in space. And he actually expects me to believe this stuff. Whenever I ask him how I never read about it in the newspaper he always says that it was top secret – his eyes only – he shouldn’t even be telling me. He shouldn’t tell anyone that load of baloney.” – Mrs. Bond –
“I take the company car shopping and get a one little door ding in the car park at Tesco’s and I have to listen for a hour about how he’s going to get reamed by the garage man, ‘Q’ (what sort of stupid name is that?). Then he takes it for a week-long ‘business trip’ and comes back with it shot full of holes, half the paint scraped off and the passenger seat entirely missing! When I ask him about it he just says ‘Oh, that’s just normal work-related wear & tear’. ” – Mrs. Bond –
… bringing around stuff that appears normal, but tends to shock, stun, or explode when handled incorrectly…
Retired James Bond’s wife hates having him around the house, because he’s always…
calling her Bond, Mrs. Bond.
Retired James Bond’s wife hates having him around the house, because he’s always…
needing something from Q for help in the bedroom. IYKWIMAITYD.
patting down the cleaning lady for “weapons”
… uttering horrible puns, I mean, all the bloody time – it’s annoying and tiresome…
Retired James Bond’s wife hates having him around the house, because he’s always…
shaking the martinis instead of stirring them the way she likes.
… shaking her when she’s not stirred.
Retired James Bond’s wife hates having him around the house, because he’s always…
throwing his hat at the coat rack, and missing.
Retired James Bond’s wife hates having him around the house, because he’s always…
playing Baccarat on-line.
Retired James Bond’s wife hates having him around the house, because he’s always…
complaining about her cooking.
… talking about that Moneypenny tramp…. “It’s always Moneypenny this, Moneypenny that – I just want to scratch her eyes out!”
“… getting upset that I joined Q-anon…”
That damn Pussy Galore, is her haggis as good as what you get at home James?
… changing from Scottish to Australian to British to Irish to…
,,,Russian with a British accent
“…asking me to go “undercover” on Her Majesty’s “Secret Service”… pig!”
“He’s always telling the most outrageous stories about how he saved the world from this villain or that. One had a weather machine. One was going to steal all the gold in Fort Knox. One was going to kill the everyone on earth and create a new civilization in space. And he actually expects me to believe this stuff. Whenever I ask him how I never read about it in the newspaper he always says that it was top secret – his eyes only – he shouldn’t even be telling me. He shouldn’t tell anyone that load of baloney.”
– Mrs. Bond –
Pestering her to help him “wax the Aston Martin”
Retired James Bond’s wife hates having him around the house, because he’s always…
contemplating that sex change.
“… getting angry when I ask him to do the odd job around the house…”
~~~~~~~~ Extra Helping!!!
“I take the company car shopping and get a one little door ding in the car park at Tesco’s and I have to listen for a hour about how he’s going to get reamed by the garage man, ‘Q’ (what sort of stupid name is that?). Then he takes it for a week-long ‘business trip’ and comes back with it shot full of holes, half the paint scraped off and the passenger seat entirely missing! When I ask him about it he just says ‘Oh, that’s just normal work-related wear & tear’. ”
– Mrs. Bond –
…reminiscing over that Galore witch.
…refusing to do Oddjobs.
…he’s always asking if she wants to see his “Spectre”.
… suspected she’s been having an affair with that Mr. Fury fellow.
When he does that “Moonraker” thing with his thumb during, well… you know..
Retired James Bond’s wife hates having him around the house, because he’s always…
…turning into Dr. No whenever she wants an errand done.
Retired James Bond’s wife hates having him around the house, because he’s always…
is always procrastinating. When she calls him on it, he says, “But tomorrow never dies.”
…blithe.
…waking her up by checking her vital signs, and being surprised when she is still alive.
…creeping their friends out when he sees a cat.
Retired James Bond’s wife hates having him around the house, because he’s always…
Spying on me!