25 Comments

  1. Dan Rather will be in charge of real time fact checking.

    Slow Joe can say “Pass” whenever he doesn’t want to answer a question, requiring the moderator to praise him for his candor and honesty.

    Moderator questions to Republicans have to be framed based on false and completely misleading premises. My mistake, that’s the old and still prevailing rule.

  2. Each person gets 6 cards, except the player on the dealer’s right, who gets 7. The second card dealt is turned face up, except at night, when it is face down. (Dark or night is defined as being the sunset time and before the sunrise time of the city in its own time zone.) On Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday, the cards in the pile cannot help you, but can only hurt you. On Friday, they can only help you. On Saturday and Tuesday, they can both help and hurt you.

  3. Trump will not be asked any questions, but will have a fish delivered to his family before the debate.

    To insure complete candor all questions will be asked by a twelve year old girl sitting on Biden’s lap.

    Trump will be replaced with a Magic 8 Ball and can be moderated by Biden’s shotgun.

    The Depends used at the venue will be archived in the moderators mom’s basement.

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