U.S.: “Just take a look at this Constitution.”
REST OF THE WORLD: “Steady as a rock. . . ”
U.S. {showing the Democrats}: “But this is the party I govern with.”
… congratulate the Chicago Sky for winning the WNBA championship, because apparently nobody else will… He’ll use it to speak about the reconciliation bill, saying “The Sky’s the limit!”, before wandering off…
… explain his midnight pullout from Bagram Air Base without so much as notifying our allies, and his evacuation of armed troops from Kabul before civilians — if any of the pre-approved questions happen to touch on these issues.
… hopefully, tell at length the debunked (by the Washington Post!!) story of the long-retired Amtrak conductor who hugged him (after the conductor was dead) for the sixth time on camera.
…wonder how secure the borders will be at the invitation only Town Hall.
I, on the other hand will wonder, if ID will be required, or will my “Hello my name is Bill Gates” nametag suffice? It’s written in really authentic Sharpie.
I think I may have actually beaten Walrus to this one:
“. . . Oh, look out:. . . ”
{Guitar strum:}
♩♪
Joe came in through the bathroom window
Protected by an ice-cream spoon
But how he sucks, the dumb must be wondered
By the banks, by your own legumes:
Didn’t anybody tell Dems?
Didn’t anybody see?
Somedays you’re just phony to pundits
Somedays you’re just phony to me.
He said he’d sure cure the cancer
He worked that fifteen times a day
And though he thought he knew the answer
Well, he knew what he could not say.
And so deplete police departments.
And get yourself unstudied jabs.
And though he tried his best to trap me,
With his cold steel, Buttiigieg, and Arabs.
Didn’t anybody tell Dems?
Didn’t anybody see?
Somedays Joe’s just phony to pundits
Somedays Joe’s just phony to me.
. . . instead of a suit coat, wear an advertising jacket with emblems of some of his sponsors: China, Ben & Jerry’s, Russia, Dominion Voting, drug cartels, MSM, Pfizer, Moderna, J&J (both vaccine and baby shampoo), ACLU, Liars Anonymous, Obama Foundation, Taliban, BLM, Antifa . . .
. . . have his hologram from Disney World replace him and mumble through the pre-recorded replies, to see if anyone notices the difference. (Chris Matthews: “His not using cue cards or index cards sent a tingle up my leg!”)
RANDOMLY SELECTED PERSON: “You have often mentioned, in your quarterly afternoon staff briefings, that your adminiistration is the most like Barney ever. How do you unite the country and not denigrate those of us who think you are the most attentive . . . Recalculating . . . ATTENTIVE . . . Recalcul…. 1047HgSbllR001 . . . ?”
… introduce Brandon
Insist they put Matlock on the prompter.
Demamd a lid be called.
…be in the other Rock Ridge.
~
“Somebody go get a —load of Psakis to cover this up!”
U.S.: “Just take a look at this Constitution.”
REST OF THE WORLD: “Steady as a rock. . . ”
U.S. {showing the Democrats}: “But this is the party I govern with.”
Beat his previous record with a 4″ drool string
…introduce Hunter’s new autobiography: Hookers and Blow..or, How I learned to stop worrying and Love the Bong.
…dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.
…hide in a large wooden badger.
…say something stupid. (I really went out on a limb with that one.)
. . . introduce his VP as “what’s-her-name”
Harass, Her A$$, Harris,… What’s the difference
… interpret the term “Bully Pulpit” to mean “my patience is wearing thinner.”
… congratulate the Chicago Sky for winning the WNBA championship, because apparently nobody else will… He’ll use it to speak about the reconciliation bill, saying “The Sky’s the limit!”, before wandering off…
They’re too old for his notice.
The wokesters will put it on the agenda – Biden’s awareness don’t enter into it!
“Don’t enter into it? Don’t enter into it?”
“Look, Matey: If he hadn’t been nailed to the purse, he would be pushing Op Dossiers!!”
.
— The Dead Ballot Sketch ™
… explain his midnight pullout from Bagram Air Base without so much as notifying our allies, and his evacuation of armed troops from Kabul before civilians — if any of the pre-approved questions happen to touch on these issues.
… have all the questions put onto 3×5 cards so they can be insta-vetted, and then only asked of him by Jill…
That’s DOCTOR JILL!!!1111111111!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!
… hopefully, tell at length the debunked (by the Washington Post!!) story of the long-retired Amtrak conductor who hugged him (after the conductor was dead) for the sixth time on camera.
… blame Trump.
. . . tell the audience that “Republicans are going to put them in supply chains!” (H/T Chip Bok)
Hadn’t seen that before. Very nice!
In keeping with previous appearances….
Come out on stage, remove his mask, ramble on for 10 minutes and then walk away.
… mumble bi-coherently about how “Devil CisObedience Beats Civil Disobedience.”
.
Huh… Is “Civil DisoBidenance” a term yet? Because it’s certainly a movement. (In the hospital sense.)
…wonder how secure the borders will be at the invitation only Town Hall.
I, on the other hand will wonder, if ID will be required, or will my “Hello my name is Bill Gates” nametag suffice? It’s written in really authentic Sharpie.
Good point.
“ID?”
“I was invited to vote at this Town Hall.”
“Prove it: ID?”
“Racist!”
Liberal head explodes.
Maxine Passport ™?
Can I avoid that whole hassle by just climbing in the window instead of using the door?
I think I may have actually beaten Walrus to this one:
Hey, I have to work for a living.
Working for a living is so out-dated. Just post things on the Internet and ask for top-shelf handouts.
Make mine a Glenlivet single
Thank all the attendees for their donations to his PAC.
10 percent for the Bug Guy.
(“Men in Black” reference.)
Oh, I see it’s being hosted by Anderson Cooper.
Well, I guess that’s more conservative than being hosted by Chris Wallace, but still…
. . . instead of a suit coat, wear an advertising jacket with emblems of some of his sponsors: China, Ben & Jerry’s, Russia, Dominion Voting, drug cartels, MSM, Pfizer, Moderna, J&J (both vaccine and baby shampoo), ACLU, Liars Anonymous, Obama Foundation, Taliban, BLM, Antifa . . .
. . . have his hologram from Disney World replace him and mumble through the pre-recorded replies, to see if anyone notices the difference. (Chris Matthews: “His not using cue cards or index cards sent a tingle up my leg!”)
Psneak Preview:
RANDOMLY SELECTED PERSON: “Press-ident Biden . . .?”
BIDEN: “Who now?”
RANDOMLY SELECTED PERSON: “You have often mentioned, in your quarterly afternoon staff briefings, that your adminiistration is the most like Barney ever. How do you unite the country and not denigrate those of us who think you are the most attentive . . . Recalculating . . . ATTENTIVE . . . Recalcul…. 1047HgSbllR001 . . . ?”
BIDEN: “I’m glad you asked that. Who now?”
. . . be visibly angry that he did not receive an invitation
…tell everybody to get vaccinated… because they’d do it for Randolph Scott.
Hat off
Randolph Scott is dead, move on.
Welcome the crowd with “Bien Venidos Los Estados Unidos!”
At Tonight’s Invitation-Only “Town Hall,” Biden Will…say, I never really wanted to be President, I really wanted to be a …lumberjack!”
Does cutting down the economy count?
… Yell “YGDFT!YLTATSOTE!”
(He hasn’t done that in awhile.)
No one has.
… fondle his steal balls and insist on knowing where the keys to the straw-barriers Cabinet went.
Nero give up.
…Let loose his chompers to attack anyone who asks a question not preapproved by his handlers.
…bow to his Chinese overlords.
…say, “”C.mon Man” more than 10 times.
…chase a daughter while naked…
…look out at the incredibly diverse crowd and mutter “First rule of White Club: Don’t talk about…”, and get yanked off the stage.
Oh no you dittnt
keep pronouncing it Basil not Basil.
At tonight’s invitation-only “Town Hall,” Biden will…
introduce a very special “Blossom” episode.
Oh yes you dit
…Daydream of being interviewed by Emma Watson in a half shirt.
Oh! That explains his arm position!