Advisor #1: “Well, Madam Vice President, we are launching a stealth plan to introduce LSD into everyone’s drinking water – they won’t know what’s happening for weeks!”
Kamala: “That sounds extreme, even for me…”
Advisor #2: “The other alternative, one that’s been poll-tested and verified to be 100% effective, would be to just tell the truth…”
Kamala: {Cackling, eventually subsiding into a coughing fit}
Advisor #3: “Drugs it is, then…”
Advisor #1: “Now, let’s try our secret weapon one more time – when the opportunity comes, what are you going to say?”
Kamala: “Don, it’s my turn, I’m talking now, unencumbered by what I said before…”
Advisor #2: “That’s a little better, but you’ve got to stay on point and not wander away from the script…”
Kamala: “Could I see a Venn diagram again?”
Advisor #3: “I’m not sure that would help here – try it again…”
Kamala: “Don, it’s my turn…”
Advisors :(Yes!)
Kamala:”…I am doing the talking here, because I am the one talking. Talking is important, without it there would be no talking, so by talking, we talk…”
Advisors: “NOOOOOOOO!”
Debate Prep for Kamala: 8 policy advisors, Trump impersonator, 3 debate advisors, 247 page binder of possible questions/ripostes/waffles, and a double dose of Adderall.
Debate Prep for Trump: Big Mac, fries, large Diet Coke.
…is about as enjoyable as colonoscopy prep?
Deciding which dressing to have on hand for when Que Mala serves up the word salad. (I’m thinking blew cheese.)
Kamala called in some Navy Sailors to help her with her repeat backs. Doesn’t want to botch it when she steals Trump’s ideas.
Advisor #1: “Well, Madam Vice President, we are launching a stealth plan to introduce LSD into everyone’s drinking water – they won’t know what’s happening for weeks!”
Kamala: “That sounds extreme, even for me…”
Advisor #2: “The other alternative, one that’s been poll-tested and verified to be 100% effective, would be to just tell the truth…”
Kamala: {Cackling, eventually subsiding into a coughing fit}
Advisor #3: “Drugs it is, then…”
Debate Prep for Tonight: …
Look! Squirrel!
The DNC has the moderators warming up their softball pitches in the Bullpen.
The lighting team is installing orange filters on Trumps spotlights.
Trump: Do not forget to use your best Self-Satisfied grin over and over.
Harris: THE cackle. practice, practice, practice!
Advisor #1: “Now, let’s try our secret weapon one more time – when the opportunity comes, what are you going to say?”
Kamala: “Don, it’s my turn, I’m talking now, unencumbered by what I said before…”
Advisor #2: “That’s a little better, but you’ve got to stay on point and not wander away from the script…”
Kamala: “Could I see a Venn diagram again?”
Advisor #3: “I’m not sure that would help here – try it again…”
Kamala: “Don, it’s my turn…”
Advisors :(Yes!)
Kamala:”…I am doing the talking here, because I am the one talking. Talking is important, without it there would be no talking, so by talking, we talk…”
Advisors: “NOOOOOOOO!”
Donald Trump: “What is Tim Walz doing there next to you?”
Clap tracks have been laid down in the studio. No, not audio tracks.
Debate Prep for Kamala: 8 policy advisors, Trump impersonator, 3 debate advisors, 247 page binder of possible questions/ripostes/waffles, and a double dose of Adderall.
Debate Prep for Trump: Big Mac, fries, large Diet Coke.
Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
I like the Babylon Bee headline stating Trump’s debate prep was going to bars to debate drunk co-eds.
Debate Prep for Tonight: …
Hit the liquor store early and often.