So … Joe … Tell Us Exactly Why You Thought We’d Assume This Was a Joke … ?

That’s a tell.

President Biden Introduces Kamala Harris At Pittsburgh Rally: “I Know Her, I Trust Her – Not A Joke!”
Real Clear Politics | 9/02/24 | Tim Hains

President Biden introduced Kamala Harris at a campaign rally on Labor Day, Monday in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN: I know I trust her. Not a joke! I trust her.

I’ve Been Dethroned

I’ve been dethroned as a wise-ass lyricist. I doff my hat to our very own wordsmith, Bob B. Feel free to steal it, Weird Al:

Biden [singing]:

🎵

Third boxcar, who knows where
Destination Delaware
Old, worn out brain and shoes
I was bought with union dues
Pelosi stabbed me, as I have found
Obama too, so I just wander around
I’m a man who’s mean and empty
I’ve been dethroned


I know every engineer on every train
All of their children, and all of their names
And every story is locked in my head
Even Jill knows that, at long last, that I’m brain-dead
I sing, Biden for sale or rent
Got no power, got no sense
No core, no point, you see
I ain’t got integrity


Ah, but, two hours ’til hard lid comes
Buys twelve hours of freedom from those bums
I’m a man who’s mean and empty
I’ve been dethroned!

🎵

New Phrase of the Day: Hygiene Poverty

Admit it — this is why you click on IMAO . . . to expand your vocabulary.

‘Cutting out things like toothpaste seemed like the only way’: mum shares heartbreaking poverty choices
Mirror (U.K.) | 2 Sep 2024 | George Gaston

No one writes like Gaston; no one fights like Gaston . . .

Mum of two Liza explains the reality of hygiene poverty – but you can help

Boots and charity The Hygiene Bank support struggling families

It’s difficult — very difficult — for an American, or an adult, to take seriously any news organization that uses the term “Mum.”

Or a store called “Boots.”

And to name a family that isn’t struggling. Other than the Bidens.

Roughly 4.2 million adults in the UK are living in hygiene poverty, struggling to afford everyday essentials such as toothbrushes and toothpaste.

Fewer cheeseburgers, wankers!

The rising cost of living has meant that, for many families, basic items have had to be sacrificed as they stretch their budgets to pay bills and buy food.

Lots of food.

These are among the findings of a new report by grassroots charity The Hygiene Bank.

For mum of two Liza, having to let her children go without toothpaste made her feel like a failure.

Well, if the chew fits….

“I felt I was letting them down, …

You were.

… not being able to provide them with something as simple as toothpaste,” she says, “but the cost of everything kept going up and up, and even though I was working, my wages never seemed to be enough.

“I found myself having to budget for every single thing I bought, ..

DUH!

Thee headline promised my heart would be breaking, but that didn’t happen.

…and I would look at my shopping list to see whether there was anything I thought we could do without.”

… “Nah,” she answered, in her designer sweatshirt and Air Jordans.

Boots is donating thousands of toothbrushes and tubes of toothpaste to families in need

… to be distributed by Hamas … until taxpayer mandates start flooding in.

The store chain “Boots” has been mentioned twice during this article. Would I be cynical to think it’s involved with its release, somehow?

I Pummeled Some Woman

No, no —- it’s OK. I’m an Olympic boxer.

Professor . . . Would You Mind Getting Out of the Shot?

Straight Line of the Day: Turns Out the Apocalypse Won’t Be Military or Financial; It Will Be…

Bonus Post

That Bond Girl post of Walrus’s really got me alarmed. I’m worried there aren’t enough breasts on this site.

Score: Suspenders 2; Oppo 0.

Welcome to IMAO! I’ve Got a Bad Feeling About This, Too

Up the stairway, into the boxcar with the lure of the fair beyond . . . and then what?

Talk about Boxcar Willies.

Bond Girlathon : Results from 8/28/2024 New matches for 9/4/2024

Our new feature is up and running and I hope everyone is enjoying it. We have the voting results and the next two matches for your enjoyment.

8/28/2024

Diana RiggAngela ScoularNo Preference
349280

8/28/2024

Jane SeymourCatherine SchellNo Preference
268842

Matches for 9/4/2024

Gloria Hendry (Rosie Carver) VS Madeline Smith (Miss Caruso)

Rosie Carver

Actress:Gloria Hendry
Nationality:American
Bond Movie:Live and Let Die (1973)

Synopsis:

Rosie Carver was an inept and incompetent double agent, working for the CIA and for heroin baron Dr. Kananga. She checked into Bond’s hotel room as Mrs. Bond, and said she would take him to the spot where Bains, another MI6 agent, was killed. While picnicking near the area, Bond confronts Rosie, revealing that he knows she is working for Kanaga. Bond threatens to kill her, and Rosie runs away, only to be killed by a hidden gun in one of Kanaga’s scarecrows.

Gloria Hendry

VS

Miss Caruso

Actress:Madeline Smith
Nationality:English
Bond Movie:Live and Let Die (1973)

Synopsis:

Miss Caruso was an agent of the Italian Secret Service. She was asleep with Bond at his home when, just before 6am, the doorbell rang. Bond answered the door to find M, who announced an urgent mission. He also casually mentioned that the Italian’s were complaining about their missing agent, Miss Caruso. In a scene lit with humour, Bond continually distracts M to avoid him finding Caruso, with a little help from Miss Moneypenny, who had accompanied M.

Madeline Smith

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
61 votes · 61 answers

Maud Adams (Octopussy / Andrea Anders) vs Britt Ekland (Mary Goodnight)

Octopussy
Andrea Anders

Actress:Maud Adams
Nationality:Swedish
Bond Movie:Octopussy (1983)

Synopsis:

Octopussy ran an all-women floating island, the girls of which were acrobats for a circus that was a front for a jewellery smuggling operation. She was a partner in crime with Kamal Khan, who stole the jewellery for himself and tried to kill Octopussy. Octopussy saved Bond’s life, and Bond repaid the debt by saving hers. After killing Khan, Bond and Octopussy sail into the sunset, with the acrobat girls rowing for them.

Actress:Maud Adams
Nationality:Swedish
Bond Movie:The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

Synopsis:

Miss Anders was the girlfriend of Francisco Scaramanga, the $1 million a shot assassin, the man with the golden gun. She sent a golden bullet to MI6 with 007 engraved on the side, so that it would be thought that Scaramanga had Bond on his hit list. Miss Anders was hoping that Bond would respond to the threat and kill Scaramanga, freeing her from his possession. However, Scaramanga learnt of her betrayal and shot her through the heart.

Maud Adams

VS

Mary Goodnight

Actress:Britt Ekland
Nationality:Swedish
Bond Movie:The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

Synopsis:

Mary Goodnight was Bond’s assistant in Hong Kong, and previously his secretary in London. She helps Bond to locate Miss Anders, the girlfriend of hitman Scaramanga. The two almost spend the night together on multiple occasions, and at one point Goodnight is embarrassingly shoved into a cupboard when Miss Anders pays Bond a surprise visit. Goodnight is eventually kidnapped by Scaramanga, but after Bond kills him, Goodnight helps Bond escape his Island.

Britt Ekland

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
59 votes · 59 answers