They just got hired, and admit that they stole their material from Bari Weiss’s letter to the staff at CBS.

They promise:

– IMAO that reports on the world as it actually is.

– IMAO that is fair, fearless, and factual.

– IMAO that respects our audience enough to tell the truth plainly—wherever it leads.

– IMAO that makes sense of a noisy, confusing world.

– IMAO that explains things clearly, without pretension or jargon.

– IMAO that holds both American political parties to equal scrutiny.

– IMAO that embraces a wide spectrum of views and voices so that the audience can contend with the best arguments on all sides of a debate.

– IMAO that rushes toward the most interesting and important stories, regardless of their unpopularity.

– IMAO that uses all of the tools of the digital era.

– IMAO that understands that the best way to serve America is to endeavor to present the public with the facts, first and foremost.

They all look forward to meeting many of you in the days ahead and to listening and learning from you. They am [sic] profoundly honored to join you—and can’t wait to get started.

— With gratitude and excitement,

The Three New Chicks”

HR Chick: “I hear you’ve been overtly oversexed, horny, and bigly testosterone-driven. Let’s discuss that.”