Linda Ronstadt, known by most for how she infamously supported the Plow King and slandered Mr. Plow, has allegedly been supporting Michael Moore by dedicating the song “Desperado” to him. I happen to have the Johnny Cash version of the song, though, and it doesn’t sound too flattering. If you actually look at the lyrics, apparently Ronstadt thinks very little of Moore:
DESPERADO
Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses? (She already starts out saying Michael Moore is senseless)
You been out ridin’ fences for so long now (This is just silly; no fence could support Moore’s weight)
Oh, you’re a hard one (actually, I’ve heard reports that he’s really squishy)
I know that you got your reasons (money)
These things that are pleasin’ you (fried cheese)
Can hurt you somehow (high cholesterol; heart attack)
Don’t you draw the queen of diamonds boy (don’t be so focused on money; the reference to a “queen” is probably implying that Moore is a homosexual)
She’ll beat you if she’s able (as would most people, though Moore’s blubbery hide is a natural protectant)
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet (don’t be such a heartless bastard)
Now it seems to me, some fine things (stacks of money for your movies and books)
Have been laid upon your table (amongst empty packages of Oreos)
But you only want the ones that you can’t get (no matter how much money he makes, he can’t get what he really wants: everyone to mindlessly hate President Bush)
Desperado, oh, you ain’t gettin’ no younger (or slimmer)
Your pain and your hunger, they’re drivin’ you home (especially hunger)
And freedom, oh freedom well, that’s just some people talkin’ (is this another paranoid reference to the Patriot Act?)
Your prison is walking through this world all alone (because of your intensely displeasing personality and smell)
Don’t your feet get cold in the winter time? (again, layer of blubber protects from this)
The sky won’t snow and the sun won’t shine (his flatulence affects global weather much like cows)
It’s hard to tell the night time from the day (because you block out the sun, you fat bastard)
You’re losin’ all your highs and lows
Ain’t it funny how the feeling goes away? (Michael Moore is an unfeeling bastard)
Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses? (again, Michael Moore is senseless)
Come down from your fences, open the gate (again the image of some fence supporting Moore’s weight is just too ridiculous)
It may be rainin’, but there’s a rainbow above you (rainbow – another instance of Ronstadt implying Moore is gay)
You better let somebody love you, before it’s too late (too late being the inevitable heart attack from eating fatty foods and shouting angrily all the time)
Apparently, Ronstadt thinks that Moore is a horrible, heartless, fat man and is using this song as a sort of intervention. Good for her.
Now apologize to Mr. Plow.
Awesome Frank, ya out did yourself.
Hey Frank, has anyone ever told you that you’re funny?
Don Henley wrote Desperado and today just happens to be his birthday. (Shoot me, I love Don Henley) I doubt he would find the humor in this though. Liberal. Really, shoot me! I love a liberal!
Anyway, good job, good job. Can’t stop thinking about Homer wearing nothing but his Mr. Plow coat….mmmm sexy!
I would hate to have to do an intervention on Moore. It would take like those really big bulldozers and more tranquilizers than held by all the aging stars in Hollywood. It’s nice that Randstadt tried, but she may want to take a different route. She should sing songs about the best donuts being found inside volcanos. That’ll help Moore out the most.
This is classic!
“Mr. Plow is a loser and I hear he’s a boozer..” I didn’t see that part mentioned in the ‘Simpsons’ link…
Except for the Espanol part…
funny? heh
“No, no, this is Tony Plow. You know, from Leave It To Beaver. (pauses a moment) Yeah, they were gay. (hangs up phone)” -Homer Simpson
So who was Homer referring to there? My money’s on Moore, Kerry, and Edwards.
Doh!
Meanwhile, the woman calling herself Linda Ronstadt has to be an impostor. Linda was GORGEOUS! This woman now looks like she ATE Linda Ronstadt…and is having a little trouble passing her…
ha ha ha. again, priceless.
I had to re-read the whole song – it’s just too damn funny! Congrats, Frank! I laughed so hard, I cried!
Mr. Plow, that’s my name
That name again is Mr. Plow
So are Michael Moore and Barney Gumble the same person?
Homer: A pornography store. I was buying pornograyphy.
Homer’s brain: Heh-heh, I never would have thought of that!
Very funny
Heh-heh. Good stuff.
Hilarious! i must agree with you….where’s the compliment in there? Even if she meant it in a nice way…she’s saying he’s shy and needs to let someone love him?? Well…that’s a pretty tall order. Unless that was her way of professing her undying love for him. And if that’s the case…
Sorry I couldn’t finish the sentence. I was too grossed out.
Meanwhile, this Sandy Berger thing, well there’s more finger pointin goin on than Michael Moore and Linda Ronstadt in a donut shop.
How I love celebrities! Oh, let’s tick off up to half of my fans by stating leftist dogma! Then cry censorship if they dare to object! SHUT UP AND SING (ACT,ETC.) as the delicious Laura Ingram would say.
I am cringing every time I have to listen to a Cheryl Crow song (My life just loves that I wanna be in the Sun song of hers) I am having a harder and harder time watching movies with all these leftist wackos – not to mention TV. And listening to music too – although most of my listening involves Christian bands, that don’t seem too vocal on political issues, and even sing the occasional (gasp) patriotic song (Rebecca St. James, Carman, Michael W. Smith)
Even Chevy Chase got into the Bush bashing the other week – Sheesh!
I still feel like barfing when I think of Ben Affleck playing Jack Ryan in the Tom Clancy movies now. Harrison Ford is a big leftie too, but at least he isn’t as vocal. Jack Ryan says he is independant, but he is pretty conservative based on when he was pres, etc.
Ben Affleck – I think raising the minimum wage to screw over small business owners is a great idea, because I am a rich $(@()@#* and I could care less about businesses, except the ones that pay me. RAARRR!!!!!
In a fight between Aquaman and Ben Affleck, Aquaman would totally destroy Ben, and feed him to the sharks.
Oh well, maybe I will pop in a James Woods / Bruce Willis / Arnold marathon in the ol’ DVD tonight. I do wish there was a more conservative viewpoint in the entertainment industry.
yea!!!!! Scott yea!!!!!!!!!!!
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Barney: A ten thousand dollar bill, which president is on it?
Homer: All of them. They’re having a party. Jimmy Carter is passed out on the couch.
That’s great insight, who’d have ever thought it.
The fence is a metaphor for the liberal finge, cause you’re right no way he could ride it at his weight.
Not mention what he’d do to a poor horse. I don’t even want to think about it…
Hear about the walk out at her concert?
Saw it at drudge
“I love her music, but I hate her politics, and I hope she just sings,” said Tina Uzelac of Livermore, who arrived wearing a flag sweater. “These tickets are pretty high-priced, and we’re not paying to go to a political rally.”
Yea! Shut up and sing!!
Frank, I’m disturbed by the postmodern tendencies you’re exhibiting here. Are you becoming a deconstructionist? Don’t give in to the tactics of the loony left! But seriously, who is Linda Ronstadt?
-Sherby
Who is Linda Ronstadt???…….Michael Moore in drag!!!!!!!!!!
Who is Linda Ronstadt???…….Michael Moore in drag!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, the version by the Eagles is the quintissential version, IMAO.
Desperate Fatso?!?! That’s not very nice of LInda Ronstadt!!
Desparate fatso….
Why don’t you come to your senses.
You’ve been out lying to press for so long now..
Oh you’re a fat one
I know you got you reasons
These things that are squeezing thru Your sphicter….a cow!!!!
Don’t you draw the Queen of diamonds boy..
She beat you to the stable.
You the Queen of tarts is always your best bet.
It seems to me some swine king
has been let loose from his stable
But you just can’t stop this tub of $h1T.
Desparado, you know you won’t die from hunger
Oh freedom who needs em that’s just some people squawkin’
Your prison is walking thru this world of no scones.
Don’t you eat chode in the winter time?
This guy won’t go and it’s slime all the time.
Oh, it’s hard till this guy isn’t gay.
Your losing all your pantyhouse.
Ain’t funny when your trolling ho’s all day.
Desparado, why don’t you stop eating Texas.
Come on change the lenses and stop the hate.
You may be braindead, but there is evil behind you.
You better let someone Glock you (“oh, let somebody Glock you” -background singers)
Before it’s too late.
Well that is the best I can do, I know it wasn’t perfect but I tried, real hard.
Linda Ronstadt
I thought it was funny that Linda Ronstadt dedicated “Desperado” to Michael Moore because I was familiar with the lyrics. I saw it as a put down. Frank at IMAO agrees & does a nice job of interpreting the lyrics…
Linda Ronstadt
I thought it was funny that Linda Ronstadt dedicated “Desperado” to Michael Moore because I was familiar with the lyrics. I saw it as a put down. Frank at IMAO agrees & does a nice job of interpreting the lyrics…
Sigh, Johnny Cash’s last CD. It’s a good one.
I don’t know, if I were Linda Ronstadt I would have dedicated You’re No Good to Moore.
Right now, though, I’m listening to her version of Desperado. It’s really not that good.
If you want to hear a good version of Desperado that’s done by a female check out the flick In America.
Yeah, and then if you want versions that are good anyway check out the Eagles and Johnny Cash.
I like Karen Carpenter’s version. Ronstadt had some talent once. Too bad it’s been so long ago.
Fahrenheit 1973?
WAAAAHHHH! I am being misunderstood! A commenter is upset not by something I have done, but by an idea I had recently. When I read that there were going to be more beheading videos, it occurred to me that some…
You should check out Fox News with Moore’s interview with O’Reiley.
moore is the best film maker ever, bush is the worst president ever, goto http://mystic_lonewolf.tripod.com for moore bush rock opera
f*** all you fags the simpsons ohhhh la-di-dah go suck dick you homos