As the mainstream media give more attention to blogs and more Americans hear about them for the first time, there are many myths about blogging being spread (many by the MSM itself). As a service to the public (and IMAO exists solely to the benefit of the public), I will now list those myths and the real facts about blogging.
BLOG MYTHS AND FACTS
MYTH: A blog is the mixture of hair and unidentifiable gunk that clogs up a drain.
FACT: “Blog” is short for “weblog,” and, while sometimes more disgusting than what’s found in a drain, blogs hardly ever interrupt the flow of water.
MYTH: Bloggers are partisan hacks.
FACT: We lack the editing and proofreading to have the status of “hacks.”
MYTH: Bloggers are just a bunch of ill-informed polemicists writing in their pajamas.
FACT: Not all bloggers wear pajamas while blogging. I myself wear boxers, a gun belt, and a bandolier. One of the contributors to Power Line is famous for wearing a gorilla costume while writing.
MYTH: Bloggers are a bunch of ankle-biters to the mainstream media.
FACT: Our effect to the MSM is more akin to a strong kick to the groin. Thus, we are “groin-kickers.”
MYTH: Most bloggers are paid off by politicians to assert certain viewpoints.
FACT: Only 8% of bloggers are bribed for their viewpoints. The remaining 92% have too few readers to bother bribing them. OT, I would just like to once again gratuitously mention that Bush’s plan for Social Security is the way to go.
MYTH: Bloggers just criticize the media and have no new information to add.
FACT: Bloggers often add new information to the debate since there are so many of them in different parts of the U.S. and other countries with different expertise. For example, there is no better expert on what a jerk my coworker Simmons is than me. I know you stole my stapler, Simmons, and now the world knows!
MYTH: Bloggers are no threat to the mainstream media.
FACT: Many bloggers are mentally deranged to the point of being able to harm a news anchor and need to be carefully monitored by the government.
MYTH: People only blog for the money and the babes.
FACT: People also blog for power, out of sense of arrogance, and because they like the clickity-clack sound of the keyboard.
MYTH: Bloggers like to drink smoothies made from putting puppies in blenders.
FACT: Only one blogger does this. The average diet of a blogger is bourbon and Pop-Tarts.
MYTH: Many men blog to compensate for their small penises.
FACT: Bloggers’ penises are very large. Just ask Wonkette.
MYTH: The Daily Kos is written by ten monkeys fighting over one keyboard.
FACT: It is also edited by Koko “Screw ’em” the Signing Gorilla.
MYTH: The most popular blog is Instapundit.
FACT: The most popular blog is mine. If you don’t read it everyday, you are dumb and ill-informed.
MYTH: Democratic Underground is a popular blog.
FACT: DU is actually a digital bulletin board and not a blog. It was started by Shannon Daughty of the University of Georgia as psychological experiment of what happens when a number of people suffering for diagnosable paranoid delusions interact online. So far, results are inconclusive.
MYTH: Blogging was predicted by Nostradamus as a precursor to the end of the world.
FACT: Most scholars believe the passage referred to is actually about Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction. When clothes no longer operate properly, the end is nigh.
I refuse to be bribed.
I just let the nefarious Tom DeLay keep me in endless supply of seniors / minorities’ voter registration cards.
Then I turn on my document shredder, and if those registration cards just happen to get in the way of the very sharp blades…
Well, its their own darn fault.
As a sub-blogger, I blog in a poopy-suit. (That’s the actual name of the uniform we wear underway on a submarine, and I’ve decided that it’s the best clothing article name ever.)
Bubblehead – Its a good thing you didn’t name it a puppy-suit or the evil Instapundit might start fishing for his smoothie ingredients.
And remember kids, BLOG spelled backwards is GOLB!
I blog because I can!
I used to blog in a poopy suit, as well!
Didn’t know that they had a name for it in the Navy, though…
. . . oh and I comment liberally, for the simple reason that I like to see my alias in print! (I so have no life!)
Simmons! Give Frank back his stapler you wanker!
Huh, I first learned of a poopy-suit from MST3K, when they got to watch Bob Dornan, the ex-rep from CA (as a young man though), in some very white acting, in a movie made from military stock footage… I believe the movie was called “Starfighters”
Scotch goes well with poptarts, too.
Only when that prick return my 3-hole punch!
I’m with ya, Meep.
Tom: Don’t crap in your hand,
crap in your poopysuit!
You’ll feel relief,
filling your briefs!
Mike (joining in): Fill your pants over France,
in your poopysuit…
Crow: Flying high in the blue
Free to do
Number two
Poop-oop-ee-doo!
:oD
Personally, I like to soak delicious and wholesome QUAKER OATMEAL BROWN SUGER CINNAMON BREAKFAST SQUARES (link) in my exceedingly smooth and refined WILD TURKEY RARE BREED (link).
And I throughly disagree with you that some bloggers have sold out their credibility.
Some of us never had any.
Co-Ed nekkid blogging!
MYTH: Markos Zuniga served in the U.S. military during the first Persian Gulf war.
FACT: Markos Zuniga, a.k.a. “Kos”, is actually a pseudonym for “Professor” Glenn Reynolds, a dangerous felon currently serving 25 years to life in the Tennessee State Penitentiary. C’mon, per’fessor, let someone else have a turn on the library’s computer!
Cool Blog!
I found this post from scanning Instapundit.
I’m going to post a link to this post on FreeSpeech.com
Thank you,
Steven G. Erickson aka Vikingas
I admit that I was bribed NOT to post.
I think that makes me unique.
Poopy-suit: that’s what I wear when I’m so engrossed in my blogging that I don’t get up to go to the bathroom…
Daily Kos is written by monkeys and gorillas? Oh my! Is this like Crichton’s book… Congo? Will they smash your skulls with stone paddles if you disagree with the monkeys? I’m scared.
People can make money doing this?
I blog because I’m really a crack whore. I write my posts between customers in the alley, stealing the Wi-Fi from a nearby municipal building.
Gotta go. Here comes the mayor and he looks ready.
Hi, Bloomie!
It would benefit me most directly if you’d send me a portion of your ad revenues. Or just traffic. Or one of your old pistols (with ammo).
MYTH: Most bloggers are paid off by politicians to assert certain viewpoints.I’m for sale. And I will assert your viewpoint for cheap.
“bourbon and pop tarts”
damn. I’ve been disclosed.
I thought it was Scotch and Ho-Ho’s.
twinkies and wine (for all you Grease fans out there) . . . a dessert wine of course
twinkies and wine (for all you Grease fans out there) . . . a dessert wine of course
Personally, when blogging I wear these http://www.webundies.com/ea37n432.htm
and these http://www.shoes.com/product.asp?p=5007541%7EMens%7CTrend%7EJOES&sc=MENS&variant_id=55913
(no shirt, body hair alone manages to cover and insulate my pale pale skin)
I drink Johnny Black, and smoke these http://www.holts.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce3/BrandDisplay?cgmenbr=76&cgrfnbr=86777&value_plus=&sampler_mode=&user_points=&mode=
But that is just me.
Very witty, refreshing post. Thank you.
Bubblehead, you still have your poopysuit? My wife threw mine out without telling me; said it smelled like a submarine.
“Well, what’s wrong with that!”
I prefer tequila to bourbon, for myself, and my penis is even bigger than Wonkette’s. I’m also open to being bribed, but alas, I’m one of those blogs that only has enough readership to rate a handful of change and some string.
I don’t really blog in pajamas, although since I wear my sweats to bed, I guess I do blog in my sleepwear.
My poopysuits got stored in the garage, but I’m allowed to pull one out for blogging. The one thing the wife unit won’t let me reuse from the boat is my old “patrol sock”… (For non-submariners: yes, a “patrol sock” is used for exactly what you think it is used for.)
Must…floss…mind…
Scotch and Ho-Hos? Better than Scottish Hos. Unless you really like lanolin…
Did you realize that you got an Instalanch AND you made it on the front page of RWN?! Thats amazing! See, just more proof that Puppy Blender and Hawkins have crappy material and must steal from our infamous Frank J!
I blog, therefore I am. And it’s red wine and Cheetos for me. I have the most lovely orange keyboard, now.
I heard that if a blogger bites you, you become one!
Uhmm, the plural of penis is penii. So says biologists ‘in the know’.
Sign me up for the 8% who get paid to blog…are the benefits good?
“MYTH: Bloggers just criticize the media and have no new information to add.”
It’s not like the media ever provides complete information to begin with…
I tried a poopy suit once. Found out you aren’t actually supposed to poop in it. So, I just blog in skidmarked boxers now.
Bourbon an pop tarts? Aren’t those pop tarts bad for you?
r.
only if by pop tart you mean Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, etc. . .
MYTH: Bloggers like to drink smoothies made from putting puppies in blenders.
FACT: Only one blogger does this. The average diet of a blogger is bourbon and Pop-Tarts.
Screw the poptarts, just give me the booze!
what about the babes? I have been blogging for like 3 months now and still there are no new babes in my house!
Your views here!
Only $9.95 at Silent Running!
Where Wind Rider blogs with his boxers around his ankles.
“MYTH: People only blog for the money and the babes.”
I began blogging because the thrill of reading my name in the telephone book was gone.
Another Blog Myth busted: Blogging has be about something substantial to be read widely and linked to by Instapundit.
The New Democrat
I’m offended, on behalf of Koko the Signing Gorilla. She’s much more intelligent than Kos is.
In Janet Jackson’s case, it could signal the end of the world. Firt, the fortold eclipse and then… heaven help us.
all I can say, is that when I want to see a Jackson boob, I’ll turn on Court TV!
all I can say, is that when I want to see a Jackson boob, I’ll turn on Court TV!
Jack Daniels single barrel on my Eggos, thank you. But I am only a reader. If that thing about the babes and 8% is true, I should start one. I know how to print t-shirts—part way there?
MYTH: Bloggers just criticize the media and have no new information to add.
Two words: Jayson Blair
Two more words: Dan Rather
Any others?
FACT: Bloggers’ penises are very large. Just ask Wonkette.
I didn’t know who/what wonkette was till i visited the site. now i know.
she’s a ho, that’s for sho.
FrankJ gets funnier everytime I read IMAO.
FACT: Bloggers’ penises are very large. Just ask Wonkette.
I didn’t know who/what wonkette was till i visited the site. now i know.
she’s a ho, that’s for sho.
FrankJ gets funnier everytime I read IMAO.
Scotch and Pop Tarts. Unblended Scotch, of course.
I’m with Anne on the sweats… so I guess she and I are both pajamadeen.
Swiss Cake Rolls and Mountain Dew.
Oh, don’t get me started on Swiss Cake Rolls…
(inside joke)
excellent post. the MSM is clearly reacting out of fear. they need to acknowledge the cold hard facts that their is a new medium for news. michelle malkin and the like are clearly ahead of the game.
the old news agencies are going to be pushed out of the way.
testing testing
You are so funny FrankJ. How is your ass?