La Shawn Barber wants bloggers to answer some questions for her, and you have to do what La Shawn Barber says, so here I go:
1) How long have you been blogging?
Approximately two and a half years.
2) Do you believe you’re addicted to blogging? Please explain, and be honest. It is habit-forming, I must confess. (If I decide to use your response, I may have follow-up questions.)
Occasionally I see something I must comment on or it eats me from the inside, but mainly its more like work now in that I demand a new humor post every morning from myself.
3) Have you ever taken a hiatus? If so, for what reason and how long?
Only for vacations. Longest would be a couple weeks for Christmas.
4) Have you ever thought of giving up your blog? Why or why not?
Early (less than a month after starting) on I wrote this post and decided I just didn’t have it in me and had no readers anyway. What’s the point of writing if no one else sees it? Then oceanguy from Somewhere On A1A… (whoops, yet another blog I need to update on my blogroll) e-mailed a response to his post. I found I was not on his blog under Florida bloggers. My first permalink! Encouraged, I tried some more. In a couple weeks, I finally earned an audience by getting some links by commenting on other blogs and then became obsessed with increasing my traffic.

SarahK relates the start of the most traumatic experience of my life – the five day, 1,700 mile drive of a 24-foot U-Haul towing an SUV from Amarillo, TX, to Melbourne, FL, with a peeved cat in the cab.
As a teaser, the story contains the phrase “so I joined him in the U-Haul’s men’s bathroom…”

Act I
Act II

So here is Act III – the thrilling conclusion – to my sitcom pilot that never was. Man, and I had great ideas for other episodes; maybe I could just write some short stories.
Anyway, most of the contribution of SarahK and RightWingDuck were in the form of proofreading, but the over-the-top nicknames Doug uses for Charlene was SarahK’s suggestion (originally he just called her “honey” and “dear”). I forget what I used from RWD, but he can add what he wants in the comments.
Anyhoo, comments on the script in toto is greatly appreciated. Without further ado, Act III:

Continue reading ‘Mercenaries Pilot – Act III’ »

As the mainstream media give more attention to blogs and more Americans hear about them for the first time, there are many myths about blogging being spread (many by the MSM itself). As a service to the public (and IMAO exists solely to the benefit of the public), I will now list those myths and the real facts about blogging.
BLOG MYTHS AND FACTS
MYTH: A blog is the mixture of hair and unidentifiable gunk that clogs up a drain.
FACT: “Blog” is short for “weblog,” and, while sometimes more disgusting than what’s found in a drain, blogs hardly ever interrupt the flow of water.
MYTH: Bloggers are partisan hacks.
FACT: We lack the editing and proofreading to have the status of “hacks.”
MYTH: Bloggers are just a bunch of ill-informed polemicists writing in their pajamas.
FACT: Not all bloggers wear pajamas while blogging. I myself wear boxers, a gun belt, and a bandolier. One of the contributors to Power Line is famous for wearing a gorilla costume while writing.
MYTH: Bloggers are a bunch of ankle-biters to the mainstream media.
FACT: Our effect to the MSM is more akin to a strong kick to the groin. Thus, we are “groin-kickers.”
MYTH: Most bloggers are paid off by politicians to assert certain viewpoints.
FACT: Only 8% of bloggers are bribed for their viewpoints. The remaining 92% have too few readers to bother bribing them. OT, I would just like to once again gratuitously mention that Bush’s plan for Social Security is the way to go.
MYTH: Bloggers just criticize the media and have no new information to add.
FACT: Bloggers often add new information to the debate since there are so many of them in different parts of the U.S. and other countries with different expertise. For example, there is no better expert on what a jerk my coworker Simmons is than me. I know you stole my stapler, Simmons, and now the world knows!
MYTH: Bloggers are no threat to the mainstream media.
FACT: Many bloggers are mentally deranged to the point of being able to harm a news anchor and need to be carefully monitored by the government.
MYTH: People only blog for the money and the babes.
FACT: People also blog for power, out of sense of arrogance, and because they like the clickity-clack sound of the keyboard.
MYTH: Bloggers like to drink smoothies made from putting puppies in blenders.
FACT: Only one blogger does this. The average diet of a blogger is bourbon and Pop-Tarts.
MYTH: Many men blog to compensate for their small penises.
FACT: Bloggers’ penises are very large. Just ask Wonkette.
MYTH: The Daily Kos is written by ten monkeys fighting over one keyboard.
FACT: It is also edited by Koko “Screw ’em” the Signing Gorilla.
MYTH: The most popular blog is Instapundit.
FACT: The most popular blog is mine. If you don’t read it everyday, you are dumb and ill-informed.
MYTH: Democratic Underground is a popular blog.
FACT: DU is actually a digital bulletin board and not a blog. It was started by Shannon Daughty of the University of Georgia as psychological experiment of what happens when a number of people suffering for diagnosable paranoid delusions interact online. So far, results are inconclusive.
MYTH: Blogging was predicted by Nostradamus as a precursor to the end of the world.
FACT: Most scholars believe the passage referred to is actually about Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction. When clothes no longer operate properly, the end is nigh.