So Senator John Edwards, a leading Wal-Mart basher, was caught trying to get help from a local Wal-Mart to get a Playstation 3. He has since apologized for this huge gaffe.
Three things here:
1. I love being a Republican because I can go to Wal-Mart, buy some beer, steaks, handgun ammo, and videogames (the ingredients to a fun day) and not feel the slightest need to apologize to anyone.
2. Are we going to find more Wal-Mart/Edwards connections, such as that he get his fabulous hair done at the salon in the Wal-Mart?
3. Why the Playstation 3? I just don’t get any of the excitement for that system. It costs as much as a computer and has no killer-app I know of that’s releasing with it and all the system offers is some better graphics. If you want better graphics, go the much cheaper route and buy a new graphics card for your computer.
Personally, I’m much more excited about the Nintendo Wii. Sure, it by far has the gayest name ever for a videogame system, but it’s got awesome motion control controllers that completely change the gamin experience. I mean, a game at launch has you swinging the controller to control a katana on screen, and you just know it won’t be long until there’s a lightsaber simulator (they better devote a button on the controller to activating and deactivating the lightsaber whenever you feel like that; I could probably do just that for hours). Plus, it will make games so intuitive I’ll be able to get SarahK to play games with me. Previously, I was going to push to have kids really soon so I’ll finally have some people to play videogames with (my children better love sitting around playing videogames and not be into that sports crap), but the Nintendo Wii makes that less urgent.
So here are the Wii advantages:
* Innovative game play using a motion control controller.
* A new Zelda game at launch plus a game where you get to fight Yakuza with guns and a katana.
* No need to immediately impregnate SarahK.
So in week or so (if the book sells well), I’m going to Wal-Mart to buy a Wii, some tube socks, Doritios, a new shotgun, a comfy chair, some ice cream, a couple rock and country albums, and some romantic candles for my sweetie.
I love weekends.
hi
I will be in a line at Wal-Mart tomorrow night, hoping beyond hope to purchase this fine (if somewhat gay-sounding) video game system as well as a Zelda game on opening night. Oh yes, I will be the coolest kid on the block for once. Mwuhahahahahaha!!!
I love two things about this. One, Edwards states, ‘if a six year old can figure it out’, well, what does that say about his workers? Two, he complains about how Wal-Mart treats it employees but has no problem throwing his employees under the bus. Kerry/Edwards – the gift that just keeps on giving!
I’m USSJIMMYCARTER and I’m reporting for duty! Impregnating Sarah is my mission and will not cut and run sir!
sweet.
Perhaps he hires 5 year olds.
There was a Wii demonstration at my local mall today. I am very excited.
I would probably opt for the Wii or even the XBox 360 now that most of the bugs have been worked out. Besides, Halo 3 should be out sometime next year.
I was skeptical of the Wii, but after watching a demo I too am intrigued by it’s capabilities.
As for the impregnating, postponing might not be a bad idea. As a father of two, the last thing you want is your wife to suffer through the last 3-4 months of pregnancy during the sweltering summer months.
Can’t wait ’til the Wii arrives. why? Because since last summer, all I’ve heard from my teenage son is, “Can’t wait ’til the Wii arrives.” Soon he’ll have his Wii and can play with it rather than talk about it.
Why does John Edwards have “volunteers” working for him? He’s a multi-millionaire…should he at least pay the minimum wage and provide benefits?
Wii is definitely a gaii name.
I can’t believe you’re this excited about a console that DOESN’T EVEN SUPPORT HDTV! Be a real man and get an Xbox 360!
You’d think one of John Edward’s ghost pals would have warned him that this was going to happen. I blame that one ghost, his name starts with a J…. a J… Anyone? J? Maybe it’s an I…starts with an I…
Wrong John Edwards Knave. The one in this post doesn’t talk to the dead, unless he’s in a meeting with Kerry and Pelosi.
Spend enough hours playing video games and not only will you not be able to impregnate SarahK (because of all the time you spend outside of the bedroom), but she will no longer desire to be impregnated by you.
Video Games: A Great Form Of Birth Control!
Good luck trying to buy that shotgun, FrankJ. Wal-mart’s phasing out all fire-arms. My local one has already removed them all and returned them to the Manufacturers. Won’t be long before the Ammo goes, too.
I have wept much lately, tears of Anger and sorrow.
Raaaarrr!
Good luck with buying the handgun ammo without aplogizing, too. At our local store, you have to give your name and tell them what you want .22 ammo for (I tell them it’s for my machine-pistol) They’ve never refused to sell it to me, but the question itself doesn’t strike me as being any of their concern.
I can forgive the gay-sounding name of Wii because it’s made by the most awesome video-game company ever. Plus, ZELDA!
Too bad I’m beyond broke or I’d pick one up the second Wii comes out.
Candles for your sweetie? thats gay…What a suckup…I bet Frank is still hurting over that “women cant lead” post from yesterday. I bet he still doesnt get any! (Didnt see any power tools on that walmart list!)
The coolest thing about Wii?
When it’s time to play you can look at Lady Sarah and say, “It’s time for me to go Wii.”
Frank – I don’t know what kind of commie states these people live in but the lady at my Walmart offers advice on the capabilities of the ammo. We settled on 30.06 150g silver tipped. Sighted in at 300yds. Bambi will taste delicious.
I never understood why they changed the name from the Nintendo Revolutions to The Niontendo Wii. Ill probably still get one, even though Gears of War for the Xbox 360 looks pretty good.
Forget the Whiine, it’s for liberal wankers and it’ll be a paperweight in two years anyway.
Save your money and buy, in no order:
– A PS2 (if you don’t have one already)
– A copy of Guitar Hero with guitar controller
– A copy of Guitar Hero II with guitar controller
If that doesn’t make SarahK want to play within an hour, I will personally fly over to the US and make her.
ROCK ON! \m/
What’s a Doritio?
Moneyman,
I live in North Carolina. Hell, this is THE SOUTH! Wal-mart is phasing out all firearms CONUS. coming soon to your state too, buddy. buy ammo now. I’m sure it’ll be next on Wal-Mart’s chopping block.
RAAAAARRR!!
I like the idea of getting all the Republican goods I want too!
However. Wal-mart is a queer’s dream.
Just look at what they’re rolling out now.
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53011
Screw you, Francesco.
I’m to the Right of every one you ever knew, and I say the Wii is awesome.
I will watch you eat your words in two years.
BTW, enable comments on your blog so we can debate games like men. You can delete the real wankers who just troll.
How do we know Edwards wasn’t really at Wal Mart to buy a My Silky Pony horse?
BTW, the first time I heard Laura Ingraham call him the Silky Pony, I thought she was saying Filthy Pony. They both make sense.
You’re all forgetting the most important part of what makes the Wii so awesome:
Downloadable NES/SNES games!
Add backwards compatibility for Gamecube games and whatnot and you’re looking at one happy gamer!
There is never a time -not- to impregnate Sarah K. Think Irish twins. No one ever went to his grave saying “I wish I’d had less sex and fewer children.”