If you haven’t donated, won’t you please donate today?
What do we have to do.. Hire John Kerry to host a telethon or something?
Support our Troops.

I was thinking that I’m like a pundit, so I should do like predictions. I mean, I’m going to live-blog the election, but, instead of telling you what’s happening then I can like tell you now what will happen using my predicting powers.
FRANK J. ELECTION NIGHT PREDICTIONS:
* There will be multiple allegations of voter fraud, but most of it will be from Democrats so I’ll just wave my hand at the TV and say, “Bah!”
* SarahK will yell at the TV.
* Kos will make a point about the election results using mixed metaphors and lots of swearing.
* Since it’s Tuesday, I’ll probably inquire out loud, “I wonder if there’s a new episode of House on tonight.”
* House will say something really non-PC and I’ll laugh and SarahK will shout, “Oh no he didn’t!”
* As for the results in the House and Senate, I think the Republicans will pick up 23 seats in the house and 42 in the Senate. I know most people are thinking the Republicans will lose seats in both, but that’s because they’re not a super-smart pundit like me. Actually, that leads to my final prediction…
* After seeing the election results, everyone will exclaim, “Wow! Only Frank J., the smartest pundit ever, saw this coming!”
So there you go.

Q. Why did U.S. troops raid an organ donation facility in Iraq?
A. They were told they won the Iraqis hearts and minds and went to claim their prize.
Q. Why are so many U.S. troops eager to sign up for Iraq?
A. They think it’s Sony’s new competitor to the iPod.
Q. What the deadliest trap an insurgent can set for a U.S. troop?
A. Affixing a scratch and sniff sticker to the bottom of a pool.
NOTE: If read correctly, these jokes are all about insulting Bush’s intelligence.

Do you think it’s actually coffee he’s grinding?

I accept John Kerry’s apology.
Of course, I’m not in the military and I am stupid.

Remember to donate to Valour-IT to get injured soldiers voice-recognition computers (my original post on this is here). Also, make sure to donate through team Navy unless you want our seas to be ruled by Commies and sea otters.

I was looking for some non-Kerry news item to comment on, and I found out that Obama is now rising up in the ranks as a popular choice to run on the Democratic ticket for President in ’08.
Come on! As I understand it, the reason Obama is so popular is that he gave one good speech and…
Actually, I think that’s it. Otherwise, his other qualifications are he’s bland and inoffensive and hasn’t been around long enough to have a voting record to question him on.
Here’s an idea: With the popularity of Obama and Lamont, why don’t the Democrats nominate an actual empty shirt in the future – a heavily starched one so that it can stand up and look regal. While the Republican will inevitably have some scandals to be questioned on, the empty shirt will just sit there, newly dry-cleaned and absolutely spotless. How can you criticize such a nice shirt?
You can’t. It’s the perfect Democratic candidate.

You readers are a bunch of smelly morons who constantly drool on themselves. I hope you all die.
UPDATE:
Sorry if any readers interpreted that at being directed towards them. It was a botched joke that was meant to be aimed at children with cancer.