I was thinking that I’m like a pundit, so I should do like predictions. I mean, I’m going to live-blog the election, but, instead of telling you what’s happening then I can like tell you now what will happen using my predicting powers.
FRANK J. ELECTION NIGHT PREDICTIONS:
* There will be multiple allegations of voter fraud, but most of it will be from Democrats so I’ll just wave my hand at the TV and say, “Bah!”
* SarahK will yell at the TV.
* Kos will make a point about the election results using mixed metaphors and lots of swearing.
* Since it’s Tuesday, I’ll probably inquire out loud, “I wonder if there’s a new episode of House on tonight.”
* House will say something really non-PC and I’ll laugh and SarahK will shout, “Oh no he didn’t!”
* As for the results in the House and Senate, I think the Republicans will pick up 23 seats in the house and 42 in the Senate. I know most people are thinking the Republicans will lose seats in both, but that’s because they’re not a super-smart pundit like me. Actually, that leads to my final prediction…
* After seeing the election results, everyone will exclaim, “Wow! Only Frank J., the smartest pundit ever, saw this coming!”
So there you go.
Frank,
You’re wrong. The republicans are going to pick up 45 seats. (That’s right, even those guys like Kennedy and Kerry who aren’t even up for re-election are going to lose).
Also, they will pick up 87 seats in the House and Ruth Baden Ginsburg will reveal herself to be Kodos from the Simpsons.
I predict I will have a nice beer buzz going, which will keep me mellow enough to A) avoid putting a foot through the TV screen in a rage, or B) prevent me from breaking that same foot on the coffee table doing the Balki Bartakamous Dance of Joy. Either way it’s a necessary part of my Election Night festivities.
I am not a professional, pundimonious electoral predicator like you are Frank. My forecast for Tuesday evening calls for pain, with lightly scattered clowns in the morning. Dress accordingly.
that is not true. when House says something un-PC, i’ll laugh even harder than you.
I predict that I will not be watching the election results for fear of jinxing the Republicans just like my favorite teams. I will instead ‘paint’ up some Dawn of War armies (Demoncrats as Chaos and Republicans as the Tau). Hmmm, Howard Dean would make a perfect Chaos Lord come to think of it….YEEEAAARRRGHH!!
Then I will crush the Demoncrats with overwhelming firepower. Back to the Hell that spawned you!! It is for The Greater Good after all…
I want to comment on your stupid projections but the little woman says that if I make a public statement or show my face before the November 7th election, she will cut up my credit cards and take away my surf board. I’ve also been forced to have sex with her numerous times since my speech in California and so this isn’t me telling all of you that you are homos and stupid losers who all wish you were as cool as John Kerry who is a decorated combat veteran and mighty good looking and your next POTUS–you uneducated morons!
I’m going to Vegas in about a month, will you go with me? Of course you’d have to hang with me which would answer the question of ‘what’s duller then watching paint dry’. And I’m not making fun of myself – that’s a George Bush joke.
@Ballistic, not to hijack the conversation but the Tau is the most worthless army in the warhammer 40K universe. Go with the Guard or the Marines if you want to represent the Republicans. But you are talking of the computer game and not the tabletop game; painting a marine or a guardsman takes a few hours.
Election night will be fun; I will be spending it in the bastion of liberalism, the small liberal arts college.
Not that I don’t trust you, Frank, but I’ll be barricading myself in my home and stocking up on ammo, water, and food. If the Democrats do happen to win, things like this will start happening all over.
@Ballistic and Michael R. while continuing to hijack the conversation, I have a Space Marine army that hates both Tau and IG, and they are DEFINITELY Republican.
I predict that Teddy Kennedy will be fat, drunk, lecherous, and stupid on election day. Also that San Franciscans will exhibit bizarre behavior.
I think the republicans will pick up 217 senate seats and 47000 house seats. But then I was in the military so my math ain’t that good.
i sure hope you are right!
I’m sure President Bush will order the unit to kill all commie hippies that cheat so they get elected. You’re in good hands with Bushstate. What do you think?
I anticipate another long night — watching the pendulum swing this way and that as I bury the guns, dig them up again, bury the guns, repeat…
PaleoMedic: I remembered that character without even having to look him up. Oy, I feel old.
I wish someone would explain this Warhammer 40K to me. It seems it’s a boardgame or something? Or a game with figurines? I am so confused.