Q. Why did U.S. troops raid an organ donation facility in Iraq?
A. They were told they won the Iraqis hearts and minds and went to claim their prize.
Q. Why are so many U.S. troops eager to sign up for Iraq?
A. They think it’s Sony’s new competitor to the iPod.
Q. What the deadliest trap an insurgent can set for a U.S. troop?
A. Affixing a scratch and sniff sticker to the bottom of a pool.
NOTE: If read correctly, these jokes are all about insulting Bush’s intelligence.
How many U.S. military personal does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them plus Vietnam Vet John F. Kerry who fought in Vietnam…1 military person to actually change the lightbulb and the rest of them to continue personally raping, cutting off ears, cutting off heads, taping wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turning up the power, cutting off limbs, blowing up bodies, randomly shooting at civilians, razing villages in a fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shooting cattle and dogs for fun, and poisoning food stocks…you know, now that they can see what they’re doing since the lightbulb’s been changed, and last but not least, John F. Kerry to hold a press conference and explain to dummies like myself that this is a joke about how stupid George W. Bush is and is in no way an insult directed towards the U.S. military.
G Fresh,
You are wrong!
They don’t change the bulb, they break it and use to electricity to power wires taped to the jenitals of boys and jirls and innocent civilians.
Yes, but if they can’t see because the lightbulb is broken, how do you know they won’t accidently waterboard an innocent *”enemy combatant” and unfairly save U.S. citizen lives with the information that is gleaned?
*Patriotic disagree-er with U.S. foreign policy with slightly violent tendencies, but only because we’ve plundered his country’s oil and mocked his religion.
We only use electricity if we run out of bamboo and lighters for beneath their nails.
I hahve another joke for all you moro…er, ahem, folks.
A Yale alumnae walks in a bar and leans over to the guy next to him and says, ”Wanna hear a MARINE joke?”
The guy next to him replies, ”Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 6′ tall, 200 lbs, and I’m a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2” tall, weighs 225, and he’s a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6’5” tall, weighs 250, and he’s also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?”
The Yalie says, ”Nah, I don’t want to have to explain it three times.”
Now don’t misunderstand me, it is not that marines are a bunch of stupid dolts, it is that George Bush lied to us and now we are stuck in Iraq. But If I offended any service member, their families or any American who is not a democrat, I certainly apologise even though I will not apologise to anybody for being a bad comedian.
I just wanted to interject myself into the latest controversy by saying that if John Kerry were President of The United States Christopher Reeve would walk!
Frank, we know these can’t be Kerry jokes. They actually were kinda humorous.
When will the lies end???
NEVER!!!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because Bush is an idiot.
Moonbat Audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Did you hear about the idiot terrorist that burned his mouth on a tailpipe trying to blow up a car?
It was Bush!!!
Moonbat Audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Take my wife, please!
….
(silence)
….
(more silence)
….
Uhhh, Bush is an idiot!
Moonbat Audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The lies cannot end-
Not as long as there are professional politicians!
“If John Kerry were President of The United States Christopher Reeve would walk!”
And pigs would be flying and Hell would be frozen over too!
“If John Kerry were President of The United States Christopher Reeve would walk!”
That’s only because Al Gore single handedly invented the surgery to cure him!
Unlike Algore, at least Christopher Reeve had a good excuse for not moving around very much.
A priest, a nun and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll it be?” To which the three replied “Ouch” “Stop” “Help” “Help us” as ignorant, lazy, uneducated US soldiers beat the rabbi, taped wires from portable telephones to the genitals of the priest, and raped the nun in a fashion reminiscent of JJenghis Khan.
Oh, I’m sorry. I blew the joke. I meant to say “George Bush” instead of “rabbi”. See, when you say it the right way it’s a really funny joke about the president and not at all negative toward the troops.
Q: How do you break John Kerry’s finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: How can you tell if John Kerry is blowing a joke?
A: By the glazed look in the joke’s eyes.
John Kerry is in a bar and has to make a head call (that’s “make a wee-wee” for all you liberal monkeys). He’s at a urinal when in walks a Marine who goes to another urinal and starts to urinate.
Kerry finishes, flushes, and goes to the sink to wash his hands.
As he’s doing this, the Marine finishes, zips up, and starts to head out the door.
“Hey!” says Kerry. “In the Marines don’t they teach you to wash your hands after taking a piss?”
The Marine looks at Kerry and replies, “Nah. They teach us not to piss on our hands.”
And stole their goats. Don’t forget the goats!
SilkPony: Hey! The capitalized “The” of “The United States” is my schtick! I sue you!