My wife and I voted by absentee ballot. One of the offices we didn’t really care about was Lieutenant Governor. Really – what the heck is this? The VP of goverrnorships?
Anyway, I had no preference until earlier in the day when I heard a commercial for Tom McClintock. Technically, it was a commercial AGAINST him by his opponent – whathisface.
Here’s the quote from the commercial. Setup – they’re talking about how out of touch Tom McClintock is with the voters.

Woman’s Voice: Providing abortions for the poor would be like “Providing scotch for the wino lying in the gutter.”

I almost drove off the road. I still laugh when I think of this line. Later that evening, I cast a ballot for Tom.
You know – it’s true. It DOES pay to advertise.

Giant new post from Bill Whittle!
Just saw it and haven’t read it yet, but I assume it should get you psyched for the elections if it’s anything like the rest of his writing.
It’s funny; I just e-mailed him this weekend, and, after not getting a response, I was about to declare him dead and take his stuff. Guess I’ll have to wait.
Anyway, on to read the post. It starts with the tale of a $7.00 nuclear submarine…
UPDATE:
First he shoots down that stupid “Chickenhawk” argument used by the intellectually lazy (i.e., most liberals)…
UPDATE 2:
Next he takes on bumper sticker slogans, proving for a fact that Bush is very smart or he’d have been a flaming crater on the side of a mountain long ago.
UPDATE 3:
“Doves think the choice is between fighting or not fighting. Hawks think the choice is between fighting now or fighting later.”
UPDATE 4:
Wow. He really put the war into perspective; especially effective was explaining what things would be like if the shoe was on the other foot. Makes my own argument today to continue the war to victory weak and feeble in comparison; that’s why I don’t do much serious blogging.
And the Islamic radicals as dope-fiend analogy is spot on.
Everyone go read now!

So what are you going to do tomorrow to intimidate Democrats away from the polls? I’m going to stand near the entrance to a polling place while weilding my ASP baton and ask each person entering, “You’re voting for Republicans, right?” If I don’t get an answer, I’ll keep pushing the person and persisting until he runs off.
Just old style intimidation; nothing fancy other that I’ll be listening to an iPod while I do it.

In the next 24 hours, the American public is going to be assaulted with absurd and downright ridiculous graphics demonstrating how the MSM thinks the elections are progressing.
I’m here to bring you one of them.
I’m looking at Fox News’ site at the “Balance Of Power” graphics, showing the seats currently held in the Senate by Repblicans, Democrats, and the one Independent:

Will someone explain to me how RINO “Independent” Jim Jeffords can take up seats in FOUR ROWS?
We all know that he’s a backstabbing traitor when it comes to the Republican Party, but is he really that all?
I could understand a disproportionate graphic in terms of Ted Kennedy taking up multiple rows to accommodate his Guild Navigator Chamber pressurized with a pure atmosphere of atomized whiskey, but Jim Jeffords is by no stretch of the imagination (or the legs) thirty feet tall.
Same with Bernie Sanders, the Maple Syrup Socialist there in the House.
First off, he’s not an Independent. He’s a Socialist. Say it with me kids: S-O-C-I-A-L-I-S-T.
Next thing is… he’s also thirty freaking feet tall!
What is it about Vermont members of Congress and Fox News thinking they’re thirty feet tall, taking up four rows of seats?

Continue reading ‘Who makes these stupid graphics?’ »

I know what you’re thinking.

• I live in Texas.
• I’m Jewish.
• I wear boots.
• I like country music.
• I like to read funny things.

So, I’m voting for Kinky tomorrow, right?

Continue reading ‘Just because I’m a Texas Jewboy, it doesn’t mean I have to vote for one.’ »

IMAO reader Aaron wonders if maybe the reason the podcast ain’t happening lately is that I’ve been doing promos for Kettering University.
He claims that they sound suspiciously like me.
Well, the voice is familiar, and the pacing and delivery aren’t too far off the mark. And what about the ninjas? Would someone who isn’t me actually mention ninjas?
Hmmmm…
…and the whole beaver thing is pretty suspicious, too.
However, this is obviously just a coincidental doppelganger, since he mentions marmosets, and I’m a lemur kinda guy.
But if anything ever happens to Stickman, I may have to put in an application for his old job.

Tomorrow night, all the IMAO bloggers (who are participating) will be live blogging the election. Why watch news or read other stupid blogs when IMAO can distill everything for you?
Before you sit down to read the live blogging, remember to vote first (unless you’re from a foreign country; then I don’t care if you vote). You should know that, if the Democrats win both the House and the Senate, I will punch Rowdi…

Please vote Republican. I’m just a puppy and I don’t want to be punched.
…and kick Sydney.

I’m a bad kitty and probably deserve to be kicked… but please vote Republican anyway.
So, tune in for some great blogging tomorrow night, and, if the Democrats win, you can get cheered up by a video of me punching a dog and kicking a cat!

If you so like embryonic stem cell research, then donate your own @#$% towards it! Pay for your own amoral boondoggles. Is that too much to ask?

Speaking of Lieberman: “Whether he wins or loses is irrelevant.”
If Kos hopes to be a pundit, one of these days he is going to have to learn that actually winning elections is relevant. In fact, it’s the most relevant part of elections.
BTW, in his predictions, Kos is still holding on to the hope that Lamont is going to win. It’s like he wants to be sad no matter how well the Democrats do tomorrow. Since people fear the unknown, perhaps Kos fears victory.

What do you think is the biggest issue facing America right now?
To me, it’s the war in Iraq. If we end that war in any way that construed as a retreat, I don’t see how we can recover. Vietnam is already an albatross hanging on the neck of any military operation, but there were over 58,000 Americans dead before we pulled out of there. We give up in Iraq, and all our enemies know that bar is lowered (and will continue lowering) on how much we can be hurt before we give up, and that will only encourage them to hurt us all the more. Our enemies know weakness, and what would it take to teach them we mean business if we give up on Iraq? Probably a nuke, and no one wants to go there.
Anyway, at this rate, for the next conflict we won’t have the will for any deaths at all, and then we might as well just isolate ourselves. And then the problems will just fester until they’re knocking at our door.
Yeah, I couldn’t care less about the minimum wage and other domestic crap the Democrats want the federal government to handle. Whatever happens in the election, I pray we have the will to keep fighting.

You absolutely, positively HAVE to read this. From a Democrat who absolutely NAILS IT!
(Hat Tip: Wiz Bang)
One of many excellent quotes:

To all intents and purposes, when the Democratic Party jettisoned Joseph Lieberman over the issue of his support of this war, they kicked me out as well. The party of Harry Truman and Daniel Patrick Moynihan — the party I joined back in the 1970s — is dead. Of suicide.

Read the whole thing.

I get offended when people say that Republicans are trying to intimidate voters. Why should we when we can steal elections or rig voting machines?
Who would say that Republicans are Trying to Intimidate Voters?
Who would say something like this? Click on the link and find out.
In response, we at IMAO are reaching out to the community to show that voter intimidation is NEVER what we are all about.
Just look at the good work we are doing here in southern California. We have set up a small organization to help greet and welcome all nationalities, especially those who may not have legal residence. We join liberal Democrats in saying that even THEY are welcome to come and vote.

Because really, it’s likely that I misheard miss Rosie O’Donnell on the View today. Nutjob conspiracy theorist, Bush-is-Hitler-mantra-chanting Joy Behar was arguing that it’s just so convenient that Saddam was sentenced this weekend and that maybe we made some phone calls to get the verdict through quickly. You know, in time for the elections.
Because that just doesn’t remind people, “Oh yeah! Iraq! Wow, that’s not going so well.” What a dumbpinkytoe Joy is.
Anyway, Rosie was actually arguing against that. Her best friend is cohosting, and best friend Jackie said that there are some things that are just coincidence. And Rosie was saying, “I don’t know, you think even with it being in another country? … ” and just didn’t seem convinced that the verdict was a product of the Bushalliburton Machine.
Actually, I have to say Rosie isn’t the worst of the View. Joy sounds like she lives in the Democratic Underground and plays on the merry-go-round with the KosKids in her spare time. Rosie is very vocal and opinionated, and every other sentence out of her mouth is “Christians are bad, 10% of the world is gay — in fact, you are gay and just don’t know it yet!” but she is occasionally coherent.

Continue reading ‘Maybe I Should Rewind and Watch Again’ »

I’m afraid that, if the Democrats get too much power, they’ll try and turn us into Europe. I don’t want to be like Europe. Europe is old and dying. America should be young and killing.
Europe, much like the Democrats, is really wussy about international issues. They say Saddam shouldn’t be hung by the neck until dead because it’s mean. We say Saddam should be hung by the neck until dead… because it’s mean! We’re mean – mean to bad people, that is. Too much of Europe isn’t mean enough. They should want to hunt down terrorists and laugh as they die. Instead, they just want a shorter work week and smelly cheese.
So I don’t want to be like Europe and will be very angry if the Democrats try to make us that way. I’ll be so angry that I’ll riot and burn cars. That intimidates the people in Europe, so it should work against Democrats.
How well do hybrids burn?

Support the Navy. Valour-IT has made enough money to buy a bunch of laptops for our injured troops, but they still are hoping to help more. So donate to them… but do it through the Navy. In raising money, they’re behind the other two branches and the Air Force still, and that’s not right. I explain why the Navy is so great here.
Donate! And don’t cede the seas to the Communists!