OK Gavin M., I’ll take up your photoshop duel challenge–if you mess with one of my street ‘ho’s, you mess with me.
Your challenge is to come up with a funnier take on the “flying imams” story than the one above. After you fail, you get to pick the next topic, create a photoshop, and I will try to best you, and so on and so forth. Choose a particular picture, a phrase, a theme, a person–I don’t care. Let’s see what you’ve got . . .
UPDATE: Although Gavin M. came back with a worthy response, I still feel compelled to declare victory.
Also, constructive criticizers, if you think I’m going to spend the time required to put together Worth 1000 level submissions, you need to put down the crackpipe/Jesus juice (depending on your political persuasion). I’m not on public assistance, in college , a graphic artist, or single–all prerequisites for that level of dedication.
In other news . . . NASA scientists are perplexed . . .

Continue reading ‘Flying Imams Terrorize Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport’ »

The Christmas season is here and it’s time to reach out to each other in the spirit of the season and move our country forward. It’s time to reach out to liberals.
But how do we do that? What kind of gift do you give somebody who might be offended at the idea of saying Merry Christmas?
That’s where the IMAO giftshop comes in. We have a special line of toys and other gifts that are sure to make you a hit with all of your liberal friends.
For example, try today’s gift suggestion–

Continue reading ‘Shopping Ideas from IMAO!’ »

I need publicity to sell my book, and people are already helping out. Wild Bill is spreading lies about me here and here. Sadly, No! is making fun of my primitive conservative humor (“Right-wing humor is so easy, a caveman could do it!”).
If you have a blog, you can join in and bad mouth me. Otherwise, you can send out e-mails trashing me.
Anyway, soon I’m writing an editorial of an extremely controversial viewpoint for the sole purpose of gaining publicity to promote my book. Remember to be outraged.

I heard on Rush Limbaugh yesterday that some of the Democrats are bent out of shape because some people, Rush and Bush included, call their party the Democrat Party instead of the Democratic Party. I know I do this.

I guess they want at least the idea of Democracy to be somewhat associated with them. Sell the sizzle, not the steak and all that.

But is it very democratic to dictate to others what you would have them call you? Oh, I think not. Dictatorly, that’s what it is.

But, since they want to be all democratic-like, what to call them should be decided in a democratical way.

By a vote. And vote we will. Now taking nominations. No profanity please.

What would be a good democratically chosen name for the party with the big smelly ass for a mascot?

I’m assuming the second part.
Moore has been writing a lot of letters lately; maybe he got wedged in his computer chair and can’t get out. And, since videogames are boring if your strategy is to always cut and run, he might as well write long e-mails. Here’s the newest one:

Cut and Run, the Only Brave Thing to Do
Sunday, November 26th, 2006
Friends,
Tomorrow marks the day that we will have been in Iraq longer than we were in all of World War II.

Which is significant because….

That’s right. We were able to defeat all of Nazi Germany, Mussolini, and the entire Japanese empire in LESS time than it’s taken the world’s only superpower to secure the road from the airport to downtown Baghdad.

Actually, I think we’re still in Germany and Japan. Plus, back then, we were more blood-thirsty. Maybe we need to kill more of our enemy. You may have a point, fatty.

And we haven’t even done THAT. After 1,347 days, in the same time it took us to took us to sweep across North Africa, storm the beaches of Italy, conquer the South Pacific, and liberate all of Western Europe, we cannot, after over 3 and 1/2 years, even take over a single highway and protect ourselves from a homemade device of two tin cans placed in a pothole.

And after 1,347 days of WII (isn’t that the new Nintendo system?) it was nothing but happy times in Europe, wasn’t it? Stop trying to think with the fat in your head, fatty fat fat. Use that brain!
“Ooh! People are using bombs against us! We better give up now!” Are you arguing that anytime a few people can make bombs, we have to flee like Frenchman? Should we exit Montana?
You are so fat!

Continue reading ‘Michael Moore Wants to Cut and Run and Eat a Hundred Tacos in One Sitting’ »

Yay!
I have a bit of catching up to do, and first off is go through my e-mail. Also, I’ve seen like no news for a week, so I’ll need to look into what’s happening.
Did the Republicans decide to completely change their ways so they can whup the Democrats in two years?
Did Rangel apologize to the troops and declare he does nothing but moronically insult the troops in an annoying voice so he should really stop talking?
Did the Democrats just come to grips that they can’t govern and have no ideas and declare they will hand over the government to more responsible people?
That would super if all that happened. I should check the news. While I do that, you can buy my book.
UPDATE: I guess I should give clearer instructions on the signed copies of the book. There’s a field to fill in for what personalized message you want in the signature like “To my greatest fan ever” or “To the largest fan ever” or “I just wrote all over your book and there are no refunds.” If you already ordered a signed copy and want to put some instructions on the signature, just e-mail NTM Publishing sales with the further instructions.