Okay, well, it’s been kind of hard to get my photos out from my tagging along in the Hajj because cell coverage sucks around here. Plus, they make you take of jewelry and cell phones and any kind of adornment,so it’s been really sneaky of me disguising my cell phone camera as an insulin pump

Continue reading ‘Heeb on the Hajj: Day 2’ »

Mog from Mind of Mog, who helped convince me to keep the Carnival of the Cats going when it was only single-digit participation and didn’t look to be getting any better, has had a rough time of it the past two weeks, having gone to the hospital for a flareup of her MS.

She’s not going to be able to work for a while, she’s out of time off, and she’s in a real bind financially.
She can really use our help.
Her email address is idomoggie (at) mac.com, so that’s where to send PayPal contributions or inquire about where to send checks.

I’m thinking:
“Does this noose make me look fat?”
or
“I’ll give ’em credit for trying, but the Iraqi version of the Village People just seems to be missing that flamboyant spark… possibly because it’s so hard to arm-spell Y-M-C-A in Arabic.”

Saddam Hussein has FINALLY been executed for “crimes against humanity”. But what exactly were those crimes?
I have a list:

---

• Being the source of those annoying “XXX hot amateur camel action!” spam e-mails. That stuff is only XX, at best.
• Deliberately refusing to cooperate with UN resolutions, thus giving the UN unwarranted credibility by acknowledging its existence.
• Saying what the crazy voices inside his head told him to without giving them proper credit – plagiarism is WRONG, people!
• Capitalizing the “i” in iPod.
• Attempting to acquire nuclear weapons without having poofy hair.
• Forcing all women to wear burkhas instead of just the ugly ones.
• Running over puppies with his Segway.
• Killing his political enemies and throwing them in mass graves in CLEAR violation of Iraq’s recycling laws.
• Jar-Jar was originally Saddam’s idea.
• As was the Star Wars Holiday Special.

---

Let me know if I missed any.

Saddam is dead and I have to say – Wow, the Iraqi justice system moves quickly. It was funny to see some of the Americans caught off guard.

Ramsey Clark: Saddam will not be getting the death penalty.We have filed an appeal and plan to… HEY, GET HIM DOWN FROM THERE!!!

Saddam Hussein is now dead.
What happens next? Civil war? Peace in the Middle East?
Who cares. I want to know one thing: What will they be doing with the body?
In the tender, .loving spirit that is IMAO, I have started a list….

101 Uses For a Dead Saddam.
Maybe you can help me add to it…
1. T-ball stand
2. Put two grooves in his forehead. Make him an ashtray.
3. Chiropractic dummy
4. Bayonet dummy
5. Ottoman
6. Cast him in bronze make a statue for the ACLU
7. Cat condo
8. Burqua manikin
9. Iraqi farm league pitcher’s mound
10. Three man toboggan (four if his neck isn’t too broken)
11. Stand-in for Weekend At Bernie’s III
12. Prayer rug
13. Hang him with his sons and make wind chimes
14. Democrat voter
15. Elephant tampon
16. French Disneyland Figure: You must be at least THIS tall to ride…
17. Fertilizer
18. CPR Dummy
19. Fuzzy Beard Donor
20. Green Zone Speed Bump
**
If you have suggestions on Uses for A Dead Saddam, please post them in comments.

Head over to Meryl Yourish’s place and haiku away!

Do not believe any lies from Saddam’s defense attorneys (primarily Ramsay Clark, who is a rare exception to the “Don’t leave a man behind” rule of the Marines) are spreading regarding the handover of Saddam Hussein.
No handover of Saddam Hussein has taken place.

Continue reading ‘Lies!’ »

It’s Friday, so you know it’s time for the wire services to post the non sequitur non-news story of Mahmoud Abbas praying at a mosque.
However, this week’s different… this week we’re going to start a new feature called:

WHAT IS MAHMOUD ABBAS PRAYING FOR?
So, from Mahmoud Abbas’ expressions, can you tell what Mahmoud Abbas is praying for?
Is it:

a) James Brown to follow through on that promise to leave his “Sex Machine” to him in his will.

b) Haniyeh to bring back lots of guns on his trip to Mecca. Oh, and some Ricola chews.

c) The guy in the red checked tablecloth to quit blowing his nose in it.

d) The fillings in his teeth to pick up shortwave instead of AM.

e) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… Pauly Shore… zzzzzzzzzzzz… three cups of Mazola… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… duct tape…

f) Apple to add servers to its iTunes site. It was so hard downloading all those Grand Funk Railroad tracks.

g) A juggler. Because jugglers are fun.
or
g) NONE OF THE ABOVE
Put your guesses in the comments.

James Brown lies in state at the Apollo.
Gerald Ford will lie in state pretty much everywhere for the next few days.
Cindy Sheehan lies… well… in the middle of the road?

Peace activist Cindy Sheehan and four other protesters were arrested today for blocking a road near President Bush’s ranch, authorities said, snagging Vice President Dick Cheney’s motorcade in the backup.
Sheehan and the others lay or sat in the road about 20 minutes and didn’t heed requests to move, Texas Department of Public Safety Lt. R.T. King said.
“They weren’t going unless they were arrested,” King told The Associated Press. He said Cheney’s motorcade was among the vehicles delayed by the demonstration.

I guess she needs to change her name to Cindy Speedbump.

Let’s just test your current events knowledge, shall we?

Who is the scummier lawyer?
	Ramsay Clark
	Mike Nifong
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Remember, you can only vote once… just like all the retards who voted Mike Nifong back into office earlier this year!

Well, folks, my posting’s been a bit light recently because I’ve decided to go as a blogging embedded reporter on the annual Pligrimage To Mecca this year, or as they call it… the hajj. (Not to be mistaked with The Huuuuuuuuuudge)
First up, I’ve gotta tell you, these Saudis are lucky to have such great socialized medicine. And right there at the airport, too. Got run through all sorts of machines. Even though I couldn’t understand what the doctors were saying, they sure checked me out pretty thoroughly. Twice! (The fact that they were dressed in security forces garb just means they’ve got a surplus of medical doctors, so they have to work at the airport… wow! What a country!)
Then there was the hotel… I’m so relieved not to have to open up the drawer and find a Bible there. Damn Gideons.
Instead, there was a microphone and a camera in the headboard. Even better quality stuff than the catcams I run back home.
These people sure know how to run security!
Anyway, here’s a few photos from my trip so far:

Continue reading ‘Heeb on the Hajj, Day 1’ »

It didn’t take long for the Kos Kids to look at the “Only unelected president” part of wire copy covering Gerald Ford’s death to start shrieking “Selected, Not Elected” about W.
The moonbats learned their lesson from the circus-like Wellstone funeral: don’t show your true, hate-filled colors unless the election’s over.

Go to YouTube and search for Star Wars Holiday Special. Someone currently has it loaded in 10 parts (see the “Related” section at the site for the other parts). You can download them via KeepVid, if you want.
Better hurry. Lucas has his stormtroopers looking for this stuff.
And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the Star Wars guys on The Muppet Show
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
No guarantee on how long those links will be good.

Headline that should have been used: “Hynie Gets Tossed Out On Her Ass.’