Looks like a caption contest at GOP & College.

So, this guy walks up to a checkpoint with a toy gun.
Hilarity does not result:

Earlier on Monday evening, IDF troops shot to death a Palestinian who approached a checkpoint near the West Bank city of Jericho. The man pulled a pistol as he approached the checkpoint, and in response the checkpoint commander fired at him, killing him on the spot.
After searching the body, soldiers discovered that the gun had been a metal fake

So, does this guy get seventy-two blow-up dolls?

Sometimes I wish my material could be as good as the stuff used by professionals.
Unfortunately, I may never reach this amazing level of comedy genius.

Insulting your audience members gets you publicity?
“Geesh!”
That’s all I have to say.
Thanks for your time, doodieheads!
Caca brains.
Fatty fatty fat fats!
HA!
Update: I just read the comments section and I would like to apologize to reader Gunga for making him cry like a little girl. I did not mean my remarks to be offensive. I apologize to Gunga and all Excessively-Adiposed Americans.

I’m currently in a Starbuck’s just outside of Nashville trying to figure the distribution details for the book, but, while that’s getting done, I thought I’d post the sample pages (whice includes the table of contents) we’re going to use to promote it.
Enjoy! Hopefully we’ll start taking orders in a day or two.

Why Do They Hate Andy Griffith?

New York Representative Charles Rangel today amended his previous statement that we should reinstate the draft. “It was my contention that the world would be safer if we knew that rich white people, like certain ones in congress, would be less likely to declare war if they knew their own kids would be drafted.”
Today, Mr. Rangel added a new change to his proposed legislation. “In addition to being drafted into the armed services, I feel that youngsters should also be drafted into local street gangs.”
According to latest statistics, very few rich white people join street gangs. Their numbers are mostly composed of young Latino and African-American males. Said Rangel, “I feel that by drafting rich white men into these groups, we could make our streets safer. Cops might not care about shooting Carlos and Jamal, but they might think twice about sending a hail of bullets into a gang if they knew they might accidentally kill Biff and Chip. This way, law enforcement would truly think about any impact their crime fighting actions might have.”
Democrats hailed this as an amazingly progressive political move. “I’ve never been prouder in my life to be a Democrat and an American,” said one leading Democrat who declined to be identified. “Of course, not everyone agrees with joining gangs, so we would offer exemptions for those who couldn’t join because of religious reasons, or because they looked awful in either red or blue.”
When asked how swelling the numbers of gang members could have any postiive benefti to society Rangel stated: “I don’t have to answer that. We won the elections.”