Straight Line of the Day: If you’ve been abducted by aliens fifty times…
Space Nan: “I’ve been abducted by aliens 50 times – people think I’m crazy but I’ve the bruises to prove it happened”
U.S. Sun | May 9, 2021 | Susie CrawfordA Bradford grandmother says that aliens took her on a UFO and showed her all kinds of new technologies.
Paula Smith, 50, claims she’s been abducted more than 50 times, and the encounters have been going on since she was a little girl.
I would expect frequent flyer discounts.
I would ask for asylum so I wouldn’t have to come back.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t say it wasn’t aliens, but I wouldn’t say it wasn’t not aliens.
…that would be a whole heck of a lot of pokin’ and prodin’.
…you might be a redneck.
… they must be really into you…
… you must be part of a long-term study…
…you’d think they’d eventually hook a bigger one that they wouldn’t have to throw back.
…I am not Bat Guano Crazy!
. . . she need not worry any more. No self-respecting alien would dare visit here now, unless it’s a quick stop to add a Let’s Go Brandon bumper sticker to the mothership.
If You’ve Been Abducted by Aliens Fifty Times…
To talk to George Noory at Coast to Coast call…
East of the Rockies 1-800-825-5033, West of the Rockies 1-800-618-8255, First time caller 1-818-501-4721, Wild card line 1-818-501-4109, From the Waffle House 1-818-555-1212
Stop worrying, 50 abductions is their limit baby.
So no more frequent flyer miles? Damn.
You’re not really coming here for the hunting are you?
The next one is FREE!
…you can no longer maintain that you aren’t a prostitute!
You still have more credibility than CNN.
…you need to get a new dating app.
If you’ve been abducted by aliens 50 times…..
MS-13 must really like your style
… you only get $450,000 once, not fifty times.
“We’ll have to circle back on that…” – White House Communications Office
… you have used up all the ways to leave your lover.
… it’s time to hang up your towel
…you should purchase a classic Ford Fairlane. (Prefect)
The bruises to prove it?
Ew
… it is somehow global warming’s fault.
… it’s well past time to consider getting some form of frikkin’ personal protection.
If You’ve Been Abducted by Aliens Fifty Times…
…baby, you got it goin’ on!
giggity, giggity
They probably would have reached the limits of what could be learned from anal probing.
If You’ve Been Abducted by Aliens Fifty Times…
I ain’t hanging anywhere near you.
If You’ve Been Abducted by Aliens Fifty Times…
..ask somebody to remove the tracking collar.
If You’ve Been Abducted by Aliens Fifty Times…
…ask if you could grab that little doohickey over there before your return so you can get the patent for it on Earth.
… or could ya at least grab me a Pan-Galactic GargleBlaster next time you come back?
Is it an LBGTQUFO? “Cause we’ve got a submarine like that.
Does that submarine have a dommarine?
50th abduction got me this golden anal probe.