You’re Invited!

But you don’t have to come.

You don’t have to fight traffic.

You don’t have to even RSVP.

You don’t have to bring a gift.

You don’t have to soak us dry of food and drink.

You don’t have to put on a tux and try to look like Cary Grant.

You don’t have to drive your intoxicated date (or wife) (or both) home, arguing all the way.

You don’t have to get a babysitter, if you have kids.

You don’t have to kid, if you have a babysitter.

Cookies? Enough is enough.

You don’t have to undergo a background check.

You already have.

That’s our gift to you!

Oh, and that Elf-On-A-Shelf is a CIA construct, designed to get you to move it to multiple vantage points in your dwelling. If it’s made in China, Sleep tight!