We polled 100 IMAO Human Resource managers (the job of HR, as you know, is to hire more HR underlings). Here is how they rated Oppo (while simultaneously noting “shows improvement”):
- Asks for too much money (42%)
- Acts entitled (41%)
- Lacks communication skills (39%)
- Isn’t prepared (36%)
- Doesn’t ask questions (36%)
- Doesn’t seem engaged/interested (33%)
- Doesn’t appear for work (31%)
- Has a bad resume (27%)
- Performs poorly (24%)
- Lies (21%)
All agreed on “Makes fun of HR and hurts HR’s feelings.”
- Isn’t dressed appropriately (58%)
- Struggles with eye contact (57%)
- Asks for unreasonable compensation (47%)
- Uses inappropriate language (19%)
- Is in an inappropriate environment to do an interview (16%)
- Often:
- Late to start work (34%)
- Doesn’t dress professionally (33%)
- Doesn’t use appropriate language for work (33%)
- Can’t manage the workload (31%)
- Tendency to FAFO (100%)
I question the methodology.
Good for you for saying they were too harsh on me!
Or… were you saying they weren’t harsh enough?
Well I ain’t Goldilocks.
Sounds like Oppo should consider a career in government work.
I can hook Oppo up with a certain Venezuelan influencer …
Daily Mail | March 27, 2024 | Germania Rodriguez
A Venezuelan migrant infamous for sharing tips on how to invade vacant homes and live off the US government is on the run from ICE, it’s been revealed.
Leonel Moreno’s TikTok account @leitooficial_25, where he had amassed half a million followers, has been suspended after his controversial videos went viral. A spokesperson for TikTok told DailyMail.com the platform doesn’t allow users to promote criminal activities.
“Doesn’t dress professionally (33%)“
According to the interns, he undresses even worse.
Yet professionally.
Like… To music?
Here’s my memory of the HR woman lecturing me:
I thought it was cruel how they all wore Mika masks during the interviews.
It worked, though!
“Oppo? Are you listening? This is serious.”
Oppo wonders “How much can that knit sweater stretch?”
Does this mean that there will be a lot of HR vacancies at IMAO? Where do I send my resume? Does HR have direct contact with the interns? Answer the second question first.