Propagandist CNN editor: “Caesar, our subscriptions have fallen behind the Bee of Babylon and the Israeli Planet, both of whom are mocking our lack of credibility. What shall we do?”
Caesar: “Announce that we are taking evidence against Hillarrea to a grand jury on March 16. Front page!”
Propagandist CNN editor: “I will advise Markus Thompsonius of his impending promotion.”
Caesar: “And while you’re at it, run a story on Rome’s new knife control laws.”
Odd Couple episode where Caesar finds both salads gone and asks, “Ate Two, Brute?”
{snare}
“That’s some good salad reporting, Clark.”
… a hard-hitting report on those sniveling senators…
Commercial opening:
“Have you that lean and hungry look?”
[Clicks remote]
“… And tonight, from our forum affairs desk …”
… lots of commercials about removing those stubborn toga stains…
… the ever-popular Vox Populi awards show…
Headline: The Gaul!
Synopsis: Reports of northwestern enemies farting in Legionnaires general direction.
Propagandist CNN editor: “Caesar, our subscriptions have fallen behind the Bee of Babylon and the Israeli Planet, both of whom are mocking our lack of credibility. What shall we do?”
Caesar: “Announce that we are taking evidence against Hillarrea to a grand jury on March 16. Front page!”
Propagandist CNN editor: “I will advise Markus Thompsonius of his impending promotion.”
Caesar: “And while you’re at it, run a story on Rome’s new knife control laws.”
Keith Richards and Nancy Pelosi smile, as do the other elders in the Senate.
A small village of Gauls whose names all end in “x” continue to defy the Roman Empire with their pesky magic potion.
Tonight, On the Caesar News Network:
Julius Junior accuses Caligula the Third of being on Epstein Island…or it might be the other way around.
The weather report calls for… Hail, Caesar.
In sports: The Lions 8, Christians 0
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