32 Comments

  1. Its next invention…

    … someone willing to eat it.
    … pepperoni that doesn’t backfire.
    … a weaponized version of Chuck E. Cheese.
    … Little Caeser in camo-camo.
    … a Tactical Noid.
    … a laterine that can handle the resulting month-old pizza smell.

  2. …beer filled crusts.

    …ROEs that put soldiers on ice (Yell FREEZE!!! and don’t move until you’re dead or Obama orders Simon to says).

    …Dogs that don’t need to be uneaten.

    …a way to count votes of service men and women that totals even less than zero.

    …refrigeration that needs something else besides beer and breakfast pizza.

  3. The US military is developing pizza that doesn’t need refrigeration. Its next invention…
    -An improved dehydrated pork patty for enhancing your defensive position. It will be as inedible as the original one, but if it is put in a three day old sock it can be thrown like a hand grenade to repel the opfor. Sort of like using a skunk as a biological weapon.
    -Cheese spread that stops you up even more.
    -MRE heaters that smell like lavender when activated, rather than a dehydrated pork patty in a three day old sock.

  4. The US military is developing pizza that doesn’t need refrigeration. Its next invention…

    …refrigerators that do not have a pizza tray.

    …Something to replace the “happy meals” for sailors working a long shift on deck that consist of a cold piece of ham, 1 pineapple ring, a dry roll and a can of Bluebird pineapple juice.

    …more things that go *BOOM* (sweet)

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