My WH question: “Hey Jay – how about the president put on his big boy pants and answer our questions?”
— toddstarnes (@toddstarnes) May 10, 2013
Sample IRS form for Tea Party organization: YOU WILL TELL US ALL THE THINGS!!
— Mary Katharine Ham (@mkhammer) May 10, 2013
In the future, if any Tea Party group wants to dodge the regulators, just rent an office in a Philadelphia abortion clinic.
— daveweigel (@daveweigel) May 11, 2013
Benghazi is as much an indictment of the US media as it is of the US State Department.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) May 6, 2013
Women are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. They’re going to want padding.
— ’80s Don Draper (@80sDonDraper) May 6, 2013
My grandparents traveled alone to the US as kids to escape Nazi death camps. I just fell asleep halfway through a bag of Cheetos
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) May 7, 2013
One day, some dude was all “You know where we should save our money? Inside a statue of a pig,” and everybody went “That is a GREAT idea.”
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) May 7, 2013
Delaware legalizing gay marriage is a huge step in reminding us that there’s a Delaware.
— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) May 7, 2013
It’s like squirrels have no idea how incredible they’d be at parkour.
— sammy rhodes (@prodigalsam) May 7, 2013
Liberalism is rarely more openly incoherent than its treatment of teens as adults or children for different purposes.
— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) May 8, 2013
Well if you want a nonpartisan argument why a President should always be Republican, the lack of curiosity from the Media& Dems should do it
— Amy(@CAAmyO) May 8, 2013
You can just say “no.”The “ew” is implied.
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) May 8, 2013
Nothing is microwave safe when your microwave is haunted.
— jon(@senderblock23) May 8, 2013
Iron Man 3 is even more fun if you pretend Ben Kingsley’s character is a fed up Gandhi.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) May 3, 2013
You know what might keep US guns out of Mexico? A big fence.
— Greg Pollowitz (@GPollowitz) May 3, 2013
Husbands always buy the wrong kind of parsley. :/
— Scott Simpson (@scottsimpson) May 3, 2013
Punks are getting older and want to eat healthier. This explains the “steam punk” movement, & contraptions like Johnny Lydon’s Fish Steamer.
— Michael Kupperman (@MKupperman) May 2, 2013
When you hear a bunch of nerds arguing about whether the something is “canon,” a fun thing to do is fire at them with an actual cannon.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) May 2, 2013
If I understand Harry Reid correctly, we need to spend more on Obamacare, in order to keep health care costs down.
— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) May 2, 2013
I would rather play Russian Roulette than Monopoly. At least I know there’s an end to that game.
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) May 2, 2013
Crazy how often the response to my game of “Kirk or Picard?” at the biker bar is to beat me with chains and throw me in a garbage can.
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) May 2, 2013
The poster for Hangover 3 should just be an idiot throwing 12 dollars into the wind.
— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) May 2, 2013
“27 Hilarious Ways You Know Journalism Is Dead” – Journalism
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) April 30, 2013
Man, if Obama ever gets to be President he’s really going to do something about that damn Gitmo.
— DrewM (@DrewMTips) April 30, 2013
Future historians will wonder why, amidst horrible joblessness and sluggish growth, we didn’t spend more time talking about gay athletes.
— Razor (@hale_razor) April 30, 2013
Nothing sexier than a lady who knows her way around a corn maze based on a system she’s devised from figuring out corn mazes in her past.
— Gavin Speiller (@gavinspeiller) April 30, 2013
When the checkout person tries to put your toilet paper in a bag, tell them it’s ‘for here’, not ‘to go’. Then ask them to hurry.
— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) April 30, 2013
JK Rowling and her sister LOL Rowling often annoy their brother, WTF Rowling
— Tween Hobo (@TweenHobo) April 30, 2013
When someone tells me their name I like to reply, “Not a fan!”.
— Jocelyn Plums (@FilthyRichmond) April 30, 2013
I hope the LATimes staff does quit en masse, and then they can enjoy the Obama Economy they’ve been previously been such fans of from afar.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) April 30, 2013
My jeans say “I’m a fun, casual guy!” I wrote it on them with a marker.
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) April 30, 2013
Look, if you’re the weirder of two Tims in the same place, your name is Weird Tim.
— justin(@Spotzwoj) April 30, 2013
I like it when band members are looking all different directions in the band photo because, like, what is even going on? No one knows.
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) April 30, 2013
You know who else quit the LA Times? Half their subscribers.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) April 30, 2013
Daughter learned about nymphs in mythology. “Dad, can you do a Google image search on nymphs so I can see what they look like?” “Uh, no.”
— Jon Gabriel (@ExJon) April 30, 2013
My least favorite movie ending is when they just have a big title card saying “WE OWE U ONE ENDING” That’s so lame!
— Michael Kupperman (@MKupperman) May 1, 2013
I’m more surprised that Jason Collins openly plays for the Washington Wizards.
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) April 29, 2013
“Sweetie, did you hear Michael Jordan is gay?” – Everyone’s mom right now
— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) April 29, 2013
Let’s see what this baby can do.*puts a baby in a corn maze*
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) April 29, 2013
Bar now set VERY high for “funniest ricin terrorism investigation”
— daveweigel (@daveweigel) April 29, 2013
Well, now I know who Chris Broussard and Jason Collins are.
— Kyle Smith (@rkylesmith) April 29, 2013
Waterboardin’ is how we baptize the terrorists with freedom. Merica.
— Cloyd Rivers (@CloydRivers) April 29, 2013
There’s probably only 9 people on earth actually important enough to wear a suit.
— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) April 29, 2013
Tell me more about the plight of gay rich people.
— mitrebox (@mitrebox) April 29, 2013
Now if only the economy could come out and admit it is gay Obama might actually pay attention to it & make an effort to get it going again.
— NumbersMuncher (@NumbersMuncher) April 29, 2013
