For the next war, we should totally just blaze into a country, bombing everything followed by ground troops to kill off the country’s government. Then we just leave.
As soon as people start complaining that we left the country in turmoil and all the innocent people are suffering, we say, “Hey, last time we invaded a country and stayed to help, you whined about it. Thus, we will no longer stay and help countries after we devastate them. These people are suffering because you whined. It’s your fault.”
I, for one, know the military – and especially my brother – would like this policy a lot better. Actually, if the people shouting “Chickenhawk!” all the time got their way and only people in the military made decisions on wars, that’s exactly what would happen. My brother, like many Marines, joined the military to kill evil foreigners, not to build schools. Do you have any idea how few casualties we’d take if our sole goal was to go into a country, kill all the readily available targets, and leave? Do you also know how much cheaper that would be? Plus, if we actually just left Iraq right after we had that infamous “Mission Accomplished” banner, the whole Middle East would be talking about that huge Iraq military win because we totally kicked the crap out of Iraq. The only reason the conflict doesn’t look like a clear-cut victory is because we stayed after the crap-kicking to try and make friends.
America is big; we don’t need friends.
I now think liberals have had this issue right all along: We need to just go into countries, destroy them, and then leave them to rot. If you don’t want your country destroyed, make sure it’s only pestering France and not us.
So, maybe I’m changing my position: I’m for cutting and running. Then, we got into Iran gun blazing, and, a couple days later, cut and run again. Then North Korea. If a new evil government comes up in place of the ones we destroy, we just do it again. It’s really not that hard for us to go into a country, destroy as much as we can, and leave considering our technological and training advantages. Plus, it’s a lot more fun. I’d totally join the reserves if that was our policy.
“For your one weekend this month, instead of training, we’re going to destroy Syria. You might want to call work and tell them you may be in late on Monday.”
“Can we bring beer and bacon for this invasion?”
“Sure. The military has returned to its old policy of having complete and utter disdain for all other cultures.”
“Hooray!”
That would be sweet. A lot of us really want to kill terrorists but wouldn’t want to use more than a week’s vacation for it. With shorter invasions, that makes terrorists killing more accessible to the general populace.
So, can we get a politician to push this or do I actually have to run for office?
finally a sane and feasible military policy. Im all for it!
If that was the policy I never would have retired.
The only reason I’m not still in the terrorist killin business was the lack of adequate beer and bacon.
“Hooray!”, indeed.
Great idea Frank J! I would also like to add a policy of every third or fourth country we destroy should be destroyed by American PC gamers rather than our armed forces. We could invent remote controlled ships, tanks, and even robotic foot soldiers to add to our remote piloted planes and missiles. Imagine the awe the rest of the world would hold us in as even our pimply-faced, never been kissed American computer geeks wipe out a country every few months. Plus, it would be a great computer game, because you can’t get better graphics than live video feeds…
That was my policy almost from the start – Our military is trained to kill and destroy not be policemen(well except for the MP’s) let them go in and take out the government then tell what is left that if you make another evil government that hates America we will be back – and you don’t want that.
THAT IS SUCH A BRILLIANT IDEA!
I can’t even explain how awesome that is. That made my day.
I love it Frank! Given this new strategery we could also put our female soldiers to good use and send them in to kick Canada’s ass before they go back to the kitchen to cook dinner for the men killers!
So, which country do you recommend we start with? My vote would be to start with France and then as we are withdrawing drop any leftover bombs on say Germany or one of the totally homo Nordic countries!
USSJimmyCarter, do you ever make a single comment that doesn’t reference homosexuality?? I know people who are actually gay who talk about homosexuality less than you do.
sorry Wacky, but them Nordic countries ARE totally Homo. USSJC is right on.
stupid homo Norway…
I still think we should just carpet nuke the middle east (yes, that expression is made up.)
We can move Israel back to Germany temporarily, then BAM! The entire region is disintegrated!
You can drill for oil through plate glass.
Heck, I might even go back in if I could swing the flamethrower…
Freaking hillarious and brilliant! Can we put this policy to a vote? It’d be a landslide…
I thought that’s how we should do it anywhere we go. We ought to have obliterated Saddam’s entire government & then left saying “OK, you get to start over. If you f**k up again, we’ll just come back and do it over & over ’til you get it right, you retards.”
“Can we bring beer and bacon for this invasion?”
“Sure. The military has returned to its old policy of having complete and utter disdain for all other cultures.”
That sounds like a high quality MRE to me. Mmmmmmmm…beer, bacon and disdain…Aughlglglglglglgl.
This whole rebuild them after we destroy them is the demos fault anyway. Unfortunately our poorly educated citizens don’t have a clue about the Truman Doctrine and have never heard of the Marshall Plan. Most of them think Marshall is the guy that played Patton in the movie.
Your point is on the money and your insight is piercing. As usual, you’ve come up with yet another brilliant post.
USSJC – I disagree. I say we start with California.
Run for office! I’ll totally vote you!
From an old staff sergeant (USAF ’62-’70)
I’ll vote for that!!! several times! I’ll even bring the beer.
regards,
chuck in st paul
But for its effect on oil prices, this is one of the best ideas I’ve ever heard.
Sounds like fun! My wife wouldn’t like it, but I could be home for dinner by Friday night.
Brilliant idea.
I would also suggest one addition. The liberals are always carping about the gays in the military. Perhaps we should make a Gay division or two (or however many we can fill depending upon gay totals).
You just know the Islamofacists would shit themselves in shame if they got their asses handed to them by openly gay soldiers.
Ok, Frank so you decide to run. Who is your VP selection and what is your slogan? If I might suggest a VP…how about Michelle Malkin. She’s way better looking than which will work out when the press either runs out of town or you kill all of them and are arrested and she becomes our POTUS!!!
Great Idea, but first we should get the Lefty Journalists to go there for an interview with the terrorists… Then “Carpet Nuke”.
Dangit!
Your comment about the chicken hawks wanting only the military to make military desicions reminded me of an EXCELLENT article written by some guy a couple weeks ago that made that same point. Trouble is, I neglected to bookmark it and even forgot his name!
Bill-something-or-other I think. Yeah, I suck. Crap. One of the best articles I’ve ever read debunking the left’s stances. Wish I’d bookmarked it…
Found it. Seeing the Unseen, Part I
by Bill Whittle
http://www.ejectejecteject.com/
and scroll down a litle ways.
Most excellent idea. Frank J for Senate.
Further developing RJSchwarz’s idea – make the gay divisions the occupation troops. First, we kick your ass – then, you get fags with guns. And beer and bacon. Think of the parties.
I agree… however, instead of going from Iran to Korea, could we skip to Syrria and all then first, because if anyone does manage to get out of Iran, were just gonna have to go back, and if you’ve seen it once, you don’t need to again.
Frank,
Hell, yeah, run for office! You can do us all a favor by bringing a minigun to your first session and posting Sarah at the only unlocked door to mop up those you happen to miss!
As usual, great idea, and made even better with the comments. Just to add onto a few…
I like the video game, but we have to add moniters to all of the actual robots. Think of the added insult of having the face of a nerdy, pimple-faced fourteen year old named Manyerd on the moniter of the machine that’s decimating the enemy troops.
Even better is the gay occupation force. Make sure they’re dressed in leather (including chaps with no pants). No Middle Eastern country would screw with us with that possibility on the horizon!
The best way to fight a war? Hardly any ground troops needed. First, deport anyone from this country who has a bad thing to say about us (the rabid left, the ACLU, Middle Eastern Muslims, the U.N.). Secondly, any other country that says anything bad about us, the minuit they spout off, level a couple cities with bombs (air strike). Any other country that says a bad thing about us bombing that country, level a few of their cities. It won’t be long before no one has anything bad to say about us and we can all go about our business.
Great idea. If America can’t effectively be the world’s police, at least we could be it’s hit men, attacking rouge governments, (Al Sadr and all included). Afterward though, we need to stick around at least long enough to shoot, or shoot at looters, not just stand and watch. Imagine shooting a T.V. held by a fleeing looter. What a gas. Still, the more I watch interviews of actual U.S. Commanders in Iraq on C-Span, the more hope I feel for an optimistic outcome there. The more I watch the drive-by media, the more despair I feel. Let’s draft lefty reporters first and keep them in boot-camp for an indefinite time.
If people want peacekeeping forces and to help rebuild a country, we can give letters of marque to Wal-Mart.
Excellent idea. I suggest Valve be the lead game designer. Half-Life 2 was totally realistic. Plus, this way you can distribute “Operation Kick Their Asses” over Steam. Nifty friends network. Voice chat to keep in touch with your clan-mates….because of course, everyone knows that Counterstrike clans are the most effective fighting force in the online world.
WOW Finally a foreeign policy that makes sense ! We have all these expensive nukes. Do they work ? Lets quit pussy footing around and act like we want a win.
I bet you a million buck Rice knew they had made some mistakes after she read this blog entry.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061202/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/rice_iraq_mistakes
we might start with a nuke for Riyahd, Saudi Arabia, Medina, Saudi Arabia, two for Damascus, Syria, three nukes for the Bekka Valley, a nuke for the city of Qum, Iran, four for the capital of Iran, Teheran, one for the city of Kandahar, Afghanistan, ten or more for the border area of Pakistan known as Waziristan, two for Peshawar, Pakistan, one each for Quetta, Miranshah, Tank, Peshawar, and the Dir Valley in Afghanistan. We should also nuke the Pakistani nukes, and drop nukes along the border of North and South Korea.
Having created “dead zones” in these various locations, we can then leave the remaining localities with the choice of unconditional surrender of nuclear destruction. We coulod end 90% of all mideast problems in less than a day if we finally realize that these people will never stop trying to kill us. We need to eliminate them first and with the utmost violence.
Is it just me, or is prime minister Maliki’s name eerily similar to Malachi of Children of the Corn.
It’s a good thing muslims don’t encourage thier children to murder adults.
On second thought, maybe they do.
Did jason ever tell you about the time he ate menudo?
Finally some common sense.
Which type of menudo, Sean? The stuff made from cow intestines, or the mexican boy-band from the last century? They’re both friggin’ nasty. If jason tasted the latter, I’ll really have to reevaluate my notions about him…
Actually I think the armed forces should announce a schedule for their campaign of death and destruction. They could call one “Spring Cleaning”, the next “Turban Renewal” or encourage recruitment by having “Spring Break- Lebanon 2007″. I have lost any semblance of feeling responsible for any nation we leave a dishevelled hovel. They live and act like animals, I say oblige them. I would also suggest we drop a ‘flying imam” over each country we carpet nule to test effects of wind.
no you f***ing dickweed, you don’t invade.
Hells yeah.
And who gives a damn about oil prices?
Americans will just have to gasp make a sacrifice for victory — you know a real nation at war kind of thing. We’ve got enough in reserve to get through the winter and with our fast pace, the black crack will flow again by spring.
I’m serious.
All this sounds like a lot of fun, guys, but it’s just too much work for my taste. I would much rather encourage the adoption of alternate energy sources as the long-term solution. All we need is a little more resolve, the high-tech equivalent of burning your ships or bridges behind you.
So we nuke all the oil fields, pipelines, ports, and refineries in Iran, Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, etc., just so we won’t be tempted to rebuild. We’re clever devils and we can hunker down and take it in the short run, while we’re getting other fuels into production.
The erstwhile oil magnates can generate all their energy needs from fermented camel and goat dung. Then the world would give them all the respect they really and truly deserve!
//no you f***ing dickweed, you don’t invade.//
Well yeah, we do. You wouldn’t have this oppourtunity to piss & moan if we didn’t invade something just 7 months before you were ill-concieved…
…you l’il fairy.
Your better plan would be…?
“Naw…Makes too much sense. F***in’ politicians’d never go for it.”
“Shoot them first.”
When the leftists start whining about the devastated enemy country, we should take all their money and auction off everything they have to give to the survivors…
George Soros’ billions alone would keep them in clover through the holidays.
And when they whine about “redistribution of wealth” being imposed upon them, we can “redistribute the disenfranchised” socialists to the new annex!