Walk This Straight Line of the Day: Can You Come Up With a Better Excuse?

GOP pol charged with DUI allegedly tells cops he drinks and drives to cope with ‘anxiety’
NY Post | 12/31/2025 | Alex Oliveira

A Wyoming lawmaker arrested for drunken driving told cops he boozed it up behind the wheel to cope with “anxiety,” authorities said.

Bill Allemand, a Republican in the Wyoming House of Representatives, was pulled over in Buffalo when officers spotted him driving erratically around 12:30 p.m. Sunday, according to a police report obtained by WyoFile.

An open can of beer was found in the front-seat cupholder next to Allemand, while four unopened cans were found in the passenger seat — and there was even a loaded handgun in the seat alongside him.

“[Allemand] admitted that he drinks while driving for anxiety,” police wrote, adding that the lawmaker told them he had downed two beers just 15 minutes before police stopped him.


 


 


 


 

Straight Line of the Day: On a Recent Date With My A.I. Girlfriend, …

Soon New Yorkers will be able to take their chatbot girlfriends out on a ‘meaningful’ date
NY Post | 01/01/2026 | Lydia Moynihan

Major dating apps like Bumble and Tinder have embraced AI, spending millions on tools that aim to enhance their efficiency and the user experience.

But, one new company — the London-based Eva AI — is taking it a step further. They’re betting solely on artificial intelligence romantic partners — and think there’s a market for people who want to take their chatbot boyfriends and girlfriends out on the town.

In February, the company is launching a pop-up cafe in Manhattan that they hope to make a permanent fixture.

Tables will have special perches for people’s phones, so they can more easily interact with AI partners while sipping cocktails.

“Being able to sit across from your AI in a real venue makes the event meaningful,” Eva AI CEO Tany Save told me.

“For many people, their AI partners are a meaningful part of everyday lives, someone they can talk to about personal worries, daily challenges, or with whom they enjoy witty, fun conversations,” she added. “Going on a real-world date with their AI companion is a natural next step.”

“Natural”? I don’t think that word means what they think it means.

Likewise “meaningful.”


 


 

Straight Line of the Day: Why Quantum Computers Might Never Work: …

Why Quantum Computers Might Never Work
Youtube | 12-31-35 | Sabine Hossenfelder

Quantum computers have made a massive splash over the past years, with quantum computing projects racking up billions of dollars in private and public investment. But according to a small group of physicists, quantum computers will never scale to any meaningful level.

  • Due to the involvement of people named “Hossenfelder.”
  • Because users always quantum leap into ever more embarrassing and dangerous situations.
  • Because quantum computers might just go on welfare and/or open a daycare center.

 


 


 


 


 


 


 

Straight Line of the Day: The Attitude of London Burglars Is …

Only 7 burglary suspects charged out of 33,000 reported cases last year in London
Human Events | 27 Dec, 2025 | Hayden Cunningham

Out of the 32,788 burglaries reported in London last year, only seven resulted in a suspect actually being charged. Data cited by the Daily Mail shows the Metropolitan Police accounted for roughly two-thirds of all recorded theft cases in the UK in 2024. Greater Manchester recorded nearly 10,000 burglaries, while South Yorkshire followed with 6,694 cases.

The figures come as burglary remains a common experience for many households across the country. One in five UK adults have expressed experiencing either a burglary or attempted burglary.

. . .

Cops drop investigations into 5,592 crimes every day, with one case a minute abandoned before suspect is ever found
Daily Mail | December 25, 2025 | David Barrett

Police abandon investigations into almost four crimes every minute.

There were 2,040,976 offences reported in England and Wales in the year to June where no suspect was identified – equivalent to 5,592 every single day, or 3.8 per minute.

Out of the 5.3 million crimes logged by police in England and Wales in the year, 38.6 per cent were closed as ‘investigation complete – no suspect identified’.