If you want to get an idea of how crazy Charles Johnson is, look at his recent post on Limbaugh and his responses in the comment thread. Charles Johnson points out something outrageous! Limbaugh said (“He wants to have segregation again!!!”), which anyone who has been through the Limbaugh outrage theater a hundred times before knows is something Rush said facetiously and liberals decided to take as 100% super-serious. Charles doesn’t even get much support from his commenters, and there he is for a thousand-plus comment thread, constantly deleting comments and responding bitterly and humorously, trying to convince them Rush is sooper racist with some links to old hit pieces. How much time must he spend in his comment threads each day doing this? Doesn’t that seem like a pretty miserable existence? I”m almost convinced this is some sort of performance art, and I shouldn’t be taking him seriously.

The guy really needs to take a break from blogging and politics, because I don’t think his psyche can handle it anymore. This is like a bigger crazy spiral than Andrew Sullivan’s. Does he have any friends left he hasn’t shunned who can talk to him?

UPDATE:

Q. What’s Charles Johnson’s favorite food?
A. A banana!

That was pretty bad. I should ban myself.

Crowder goes to UC Berkley to find out exactly how much do college educated hippies know:

I believe it got featured on Glenn Beck today.

One thing about being a fringe, right-wing radical is that right-wingers need to get actual jobs to support themselves or their families, and interacting with society through regular job responsibilities will usually balance out radicalism. With left-wingers, though, they have this “community organizer” shtick — like ACORN — where they can actually get paying jobs being fringe radicals and never learn a thing about the real world. You like giving advice to pimps and prostitutes? Here’s a paycheck for you! Nothing crushes liberalism like reality, which is why you always see them retreating to oases from reality like college campuses.

And that is why, for their sake, we must destroy them.

To help children understand the craziness in the world, there’s now this book called Why Did Mommy and Daddy Vote For Obama? I’m not sure what reasons it gives inside, but here are my guesses:

WHY DID MOMMY AND DADDY VOTE FOR OBAMA?

* They are easily distracted by shiny things.

* Because they’re not “mommy and daddy”, they’re “mommy and mommy”.

* Let’s just say it’s a bad idea to use your time waiting in line at the voting booth to snort coke.

* They wanted someone who reflected their values of shallowness and not being particularly fond of America.

* He had a ‘D’ next to his name.

* Because Daddy threatened to beat mommy otherwise.

* Because they want to make sure they have a right to end any future children and not have to answer more stupid questions.

* Let’s just say that mommy and daddy’s last IQ test was inconclusive because they chewed on it.

* The only other choice was McCain.

* Because of something bad you did!

I wrote a post Friday criticizing the the thinking skills of the commenters at Fark. Fark noticed it, and instead of becoming introspective and reexamining their mindless ways — as happened when I criticized YouTube commenters –they lashed out at me. And they obviously didn’t learn a thing, as my criticism that started it all was that liberals aren’t very smart but like to think they’re smart, but here was the average response (for the record, this isn’t an actual comment verbatim; I cleaned it up to make it more readable):

me smirt!!! u dum stoopid cunsurvativs r the ones u think r smirt but r the dum stoopid ones!

For example, here is a comment from someone calling himself MKinPR:

Back in my academy days, we had to take a class about mental retardation, and people who have low IQs. One of the things they taught us was that these poor people try to hide their disability by talking about subjects they know nothing about, as if they are authorities on the subject, and by trying to use big words, usually incorrectly. I think this behavior also describes Republicans perfectly.

So he talks about people pretending to be smart and in the course of it writes a whole paragraph to hide the fact that all he’s doing is screeching, “No, you are!” And what’s this “academy” he refers to? Is that something from World of Warcraft?

This isn’t to say everyone at Fark is stupid. Some have average intelligence and are simply mentally ill. But I wish all of them would take criticism of their actions a bit more thoughtfully. Still, it was nice to get all that traffic Saturday, because I made tens of dollars from GoogleAds, which I’ll spend on comic books and a big bag of candy.

UPDATE:

Ends up MKinPR’s comment was actually a copy of another comment with “liberal” changed to “Republican”. He got me good. Rascally farkers!

I just found out that Basil has disagreed with Charles Johnson about some things, so following the rules of the internets, I have banned him. That is all.

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. As Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Man never feels more alive than when he is talking like a pirate.” I’m going to celebrate by playing Monkey Island Special Edition. What are you doing to commemorate the day?

Oh, and “Arrrrrrrrr!”

Long time friend of IMAO Matt Burden (Blackfive) is running for state congress in Illinois. It’s time for bloggers to enter the political arena (Scott Ott — damn you, Scrappleface! — has also thrown his hat in the ring), and it would be nice to have someone in government I don’t particularly hate.

IMAO was actually the first blog to send Blackfive traffic, linking to one of my favorite military anecdotes of all time. It also gives you a good idea what kind of man Matt is — one who doesn’t take crap from a French general.

So put some money Matt’s way if you can (and if you’re an American; let’s keep things legal). It will be a good investment. I’m pretty tired of most of the politicians out there, so it’s time for some new ones that our children and grandchildren can get tired of.

As I mentioned in a post yesterday, it’s a lot harder getting cool stuff done in Obama’s America. It used to be I’d just go to the president and it would be like:

ME: I want to nuke the moon.

BUSH: Sounds good. Go do it.

ME: Don’t you want to know why?

BUSH: I don’t have time for that. Just take this form, fill out what you want nuked, and hand it in to the nearest general.

With Obama, it’s all about reason. So I have to be more creative:

ME: Let’s nuke the moon to… uh… get water out of rocks.

OBAMA: You can get water from rocks with nukes?

ME: Yes. Smart people know that.

OBAMA: I’m smart! I know that!

Man, I’ll have to work on a good reason to get him to approve my idea of a giant robot with gatling guns for arms. With Bush, “robots are cool” would be enough of a reason, but it will be trickier with Obama:

ME: I want to make a giant robot with gatling guns for arms.

OBAMA: That sounds awful; I’m peeing my pants just thinking about it. What possible purpose could it be other than to provoke other nations?

ME: It’s for… um… a death panel on your new health care plan.

OBAMA: Oh. Well, we’ll have to call it something else because apparently the public doesn’t like the phrase “death panel.”

ME: We can call it an “Health Care Administrating Executive.”

OBAMA: Excellent! Now can you help me get this bucket off my head? It’s stuck.

It’s hard work, but I’ll do it because I love America. And giant robots.

Jim Treacher has already had some fun with it. Now you give it a go:

Arr! I’m a Jedi! Beam me up, mateys!

My latest Pajamas Media column got linked by Fark, and while I always appreciate more readership, what a gaggle of morons. It’s almost unbelievable.

So the article is about how liberals like nothing more than to think they’re smart when they’re actually morons, and things aren’t working out so well with those smirt people in charge, so they’re lashing out angrily at every one instead of examining whether they’re as smart as they think they are. So here are most of the liberals’ responses:

“wee ar veree smirt! wee smirt! yue stoopid!”

“wee jus angree becuz yue all dum stoopid neocon heelbilly jues!”

“conservutivs jus no like intelligunt peepul like mee!”

And I think I saw one randomly posting things she found on teh internets and saying Republicans are racist until they formally denounce them.

I really hope everyone these people run into in real life just points and laughs at them or otherwise they are doing them a great disservice. We really have to examine our culture to see if we’re becoming too accommodating to useless morons. It’s not that bad being useless morons if they are cognizant of the fact they are useless morons. One of these days we have to work on a program to actually locate internet trolls to educate them on how unbelievably stupid they are. In America, you have the right to be as stupid as you want, but we also have the responsibility to make sure people know how stupid they are.

As Smokey the Bear says: “Only you can prevent stupid people from thinking they’re not stupid… and then maybe playing with matches… and setting stuff on fire… like a forest or something.”

UPDATE:

Wow, I had no idea calling Fark a gaggle of morons was a controversial statement. I was just joshing you guys; you seem all right. People who comment about politics on the internet are the smartest people around.

Anyway, the favored argument seems to be “No, you are!” Touche!