Illinois Governor Latest Victim of Senating Market Downturn
SPRINGFIELD (AP) – While there’s been a lot of concern about, and much government money thrown at, the Housing market, recent data suggests that the Senating market may be just as bad, if not worse.
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Former Illinois Senator turned President-Elect Barack Obama knows this as well as anyone. “I spent almost $10 million on my Senate seat in 2004, fully expecting the value to rise,” he said. “But since the Senating bubble burst last year, it’s not even worth 10% of that. It’s so bad, I didn’t even try to get anything for it. I just cut my losses and walked away. I hope I make more in the Presidenting market.”
The Obama Senate seat, now empty and abandoned, ended up in the hands of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, who paid approximately squat for the controlling rights in the vacated position. A Senating market neophyte, he’d paid scant attention to pricing trends over the last year, simply assuming that a Senate seat must be “a @#$%ing valuable thing”, just as it always had been in the past.
Sadly, the Governor was mistaken.
“I was getting offers of maybe 100, 200 Grand,” said Blagojevich. “That’s @#$%ing bull@#$%! Yeah, I didn’t actually pay anything for it, but still, I know damn well it’s @#$%ing golden, and I’m just not giving it up for @#$%ing nothing. I’m not gonna do it!”
Still, Blagojevich tries to maintain his optimism. “Even if I can’t unload it this year, I might be able to trade it for something valuable next year, since I’ll probably be living in Federally funded housing by then. Maybe I can get a pack of smokes, some Pruno, or at least a decent shiv for it.”
Senator Hillary Clinton, another victim of the Senating crisis, was sympathetic to the Governor’s plight. “I’ve been holding my Senate seat for six long years, and I’ve got nothing to show for it. At this point, I’d even go to work as a Secretary if it got me out of here.”
(32 votes, average: 4.84 out of 5)
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December 11th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
I so enjoyed this post that I actually double-checked the byline to make sure I gave credit where due.
Well done, Harvey! Sa-Lute!
December 11th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Absolutely grand, Harvey. More!!!
December 11th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
This is a TRAVESTY! A valuable item has lost value thru no fault of the position. TIME FOR A BAILOUT! Save our Senate!
December 11th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
You know, IMAO has me a little disappointed.
Yesterday was the first official “day without a gay” and NOBODY has brought this up. I’m also pretty sure that nobody noticed either, but come on, people! That was just comedy begging to be written.
On that note, I propose we organize and stage a “day without a white heterosexual man” just to show ‘em all.
I know…very off topic, but you guys have to stay on top of this stuff…it’s your duty dammit!
December 11th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
[...] Illinois Governor Latest Victim of Senating Market Downturn Merry Fitzmas Governor Blago’s Top 10 Craziest Moments Similar Posts Obama’s Senator Seat Up For Barter [...]
December 11th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Dear Hot Rod Blagojevich,
Next time you have someting that valuable to sell,
here’s three Words for you.
E.
@#$%ing .
Bay.
December 11th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
I @#$%ing love newish fakery!
December 11th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
@ #5 Terry_Jim says: December 11th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Rumor is there is a entire loaf of Obama bread he is looking to make toast with.
December 11th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
I just gotta say…… who is really surprised at this? This is the state that houses Chicago, the murder capital of the US. No to mention it is the scene of such buffo events as the Great Chicago Fire and the St. Valentine Day Massacre and the 1968 Democratic Convention.
This is the home of the Liberal Democratic Slogan “Vote early, vote often, vote dead.”
And the people of this country elected a politician from this cabal as president.
So, surprising …….No. Sad, depressing and disappointing but not surprising.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:19 am
what’s all this talk about calling for Blagojevich to “resign?” … “throw him in prison” sounds a lot more fitting
it gives me chills to see how calm and collected he continues to act
December 12th, 2008 at 1:03 am
I tell ya, From Pendegast to Blagojevich
December 12th, 2008 at 8:58 am
Awesomeness, Harvey. When I first heard about this scandal my first thought was, “I can’t wait to see all the posts and comments over at IMAO.” Well, that was first thought after I stopped laughing.
December 12th, 2008 at 9:13 am
She says, “I’d even go to work as a Secretary if it got me out of here.”
-Heh
December 12th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Poetry, man. Great stuff.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Harvey, the mental picture of the shrill one as a secretary. Jeesh, that makes my eyes burn.
December 12th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Dang, he’s Right again: Blago DOES look like a Cabbage Patch doll.
December 13th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Hey. some of the old classic IMAO. Good stuff Harvey.
December 15th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
[...] IMAO: NO SCREWING WITH My Stuff Without Representation!; Illinois Governor Latest Victim of Senating Market Downturn …. [...]
December 15th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
[...] IMAO: NO SCREWING WITH My Stuff Without Representation!; Illinois Governor Latest Victim of Senating Market Downturn …. [...]
December 16th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
“…a swing and a HIT, GOING, GOING, it’s GONE! Harvey hits another home run! IMAO WINS THE SERIES!”