Proposed 2012 Democrat Party Platform
Basil recently wrote to me:
Your post [on the Hillary-as-superhero comic book] got me to thinking. Do liberals start trolling sites like IMAO only to get distracted by satire that they think are acutally wonderful ideas? And can we use that to our advantage?
I say yes, and maybe.
Here are some things I’ve suggested in Newsish Fakery posts that liberals might think are good ideas:
* Arrest people who stop terrorist attacks for violating Muslims’ civil rights to practice their religion.
* Denounce those calling Obama a liar as being bigoted against Deception-Americans.
* Negotiate with wildfires instead of fighting them.
* Declare the Constitution “hate speech“.
* Apologize for the Declaration of Independence.
* Return the Louisiana Purchase for a refund.
* Have the US declare bankruptcy.
* Blow up Los Angeles to atone for using waterboarding-obtained information to thwart a terrorist plot to do so.
* Tea control laws to prevent right-wing activists from using tea bags in protests.
* Battery-powered “green” military vehicles.
* Cap & Trade program for political dissent.
* Banning guns that are too pretty.
* Not-for-profit banking.
* Bailouts for the Obama merchandise industry.
Now for the tough part: now that we have a fun list of stupid ideas for liberals to embrace, what can we do with it that will be most advantageous to us?
My first thought is put it on DNC letterhead, title it “Proposed 2012 Democrat Party Platform” and send it to Debbie Wasserman Shultz, who’ll think it’s real (I mean, honestly, she’s… just not very bright). Then the platform gets adopted, Obama runs on it, and BOOM! – GOP landslide.
My second thought is to ask you guys how YOU think we could use this to our advantage.
So… let’s hear it, folks…
Send to Kindle
(13 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5)
June 12th, 2011 at 3:00 am
I saw a pink hammer at the hardware store today! Imagine if they start making pink axes and pink ice picks! Women will be buying them in droves and mayhem and murder will break out all over the land. Ban pink hammers now before this get’s totally out of control!!!
June 12th, 2011 at 4:58 am
Is it just me, or did anyone else click on the link because you weren’t sure if it was linked to satire or a real liberal site? Honestly, some of these sound like things fringe liberals would actually suggest.
June 12th, 2011 at 9:08 am
What Karen said. I think these need to find their way to Democrat Underground, Daily Koz and HuffPo so we can sit back and watch the soft-headed lefties pick these up and run with them, like they do all the democratic party marching orders.
June 12th, 2011 at 9:50 am
Make your list the opposite of what you have (e.g. fight wildfires instead of negotiating with them, mandate that guns must look pretty, etc.), sign it “Sarah Palin” and leak it to the media. They’ll go nuts.
June 12th, 2011 at 9:58 am
High Praise! for ss396.
June 12th, 2011 at 10:02 am
Actually nonprofit banking exists,it’s called Credit Unions. Due to legislation over the last decade they are being pushed out of existence with the delightof big banks.
June 12th, 2011 at 10:53 am
Since those are only slight exaggerations, add one more they can not resist openly and slobberingly embracing, like the Freedom Ain’t Free Tax. The carnage that results from lefties rushing to claim authorship should buy us another election or two.
June 12th, 2011 at 11:04 am
* Encourage low-income housing in flood plains, hurricane-prone coastlines, earthquake and tsunami zones and next to active volcanoes because it will stimulate the economy.
June 12th, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Above all, we must make absolutely certain that the Democrats are holding their 2012 convention in LA when the atonement blow-upping takes place.
Too violent? Naaah.
June 12th, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Define the word job to mean exclusively government employment, a union job, or both.
June 12th, 2011 at 8:15 pm
Add a subsidy for whale oil producers to encourage a useful substitute for fossil fuels. (I really like Jimmy’s comment!)
June 13th, 2011 at 4:49 am
Only thing that comes to mind: Sell the “Blow Up Los Angeles” idea to Hollywood as a movie plot, ’cause we don’t have a Fail Safe remake for the
War onKinetic Military Action vs. Terror. Who knows: Might take the suits a while to realize they’ve accidentally made an anti-Obama movie just ahead of the 2012 election. (BTW, link in article for Blow Up Los Angeles goes to the article about the US declaring bankruptcy; I think you might have meant this one.)June 13th, 2011 at 7:34 am
Apostic – link corrected. Thanks for pointing that one out.
June 13th, 2011 at 11:59 am
Demand that blacks be given their own special schools, restrooms and drinking fountains to atone for the evils of slavery.
June 13th, 2011 at 11:16 pm
“Blow up Los Angeles to atone for using waterboarding-obtained information to thwart a terrorist plot to do so” sounds like something Milo Minderbinder would do.
June 14th, 2011 at 12:22 am
Reintroduce market forces back into the economy; blame Bush