Stop Romney? Unpossible!

We’ve been told by the media, so you know it’s true: Romney is unstoppable!

Have you seen the delegate count?

He already has 20 delegates, 7 of which are binding. And he’s only … let’s do the math real quick … 1,124 shy of securing the nomination. Unless the 13 non-binding delegates jump ship. Even then he’s still only 1,137 delegates shy of wrapping this whole thing up.

Rick Santorum, meanwhile, only has 12 non-binding delegates. That means he has to get all of 1,132 delegates and hope none of those 12 go elsewhere. Unpossible, I tell you!

Look at the numbers! 1,124 is less than 1,132. There’s no way Santorum can get such a large number in so short a period of time. And Romney? That small number he has to achieve and he’s got months to get that total. Unstoppable, I tell you!!

And don’t even get me started on how far Newt Gingrich or Rick Perry has to go. They’re both 20 delegates behind Romney.

Twenty!!1!!!!

But for the rest of the GOP field? Give it up. It’s over. Pack it in, fellas. There’s no way Romney can be stopped. He’s a juggernaut. Which is like an astronaut, but with jugs. Or maybe I’m thinking of something I saw on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Doesn’t matter. Romney can’t be stopped!

The Republican establishment is ready for you to come on board. The media is ready for you to come on board. They are ready to accept your support of Mitt Romney.


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Join them, won’t you?

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23 Comments

  1. If somehow Ron Paul got nominated I would ride my unicorn to the booth and vote for Ron Paul.
    If Romney gets nominated, I’ll vote for Gary Johnson.
    If Santorum gets nominated, I’ll vote for Obama.

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    • Ron Paul? I don’t think he’d get any votes, regardless of how many delegates he got. All his delegates would be outside arguing with fence posts, telling them that fence posts aren’t mentioned in the Constitution. And that Israel is evil. And that they don’t trust the coloreds.

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  2. Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the crowd.*

    I don’t want to be a jackass, but if I join the GOP, people will call me a RINO and that hurts. You know it’s just a short trip until I’m a GOPHER (GOP Hidden Enemy Rino).

    * With apologies to Weller.

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  3. For people in other countries wondering about American politics, here’s how it works. The left wing votes for Democrats which is a party of liberal candidates, whereas the right wing votes for Republicans which is the other party of liberal candidates.

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  4. “Ron Paul? I don’t think he’d get any votes, regardless of how many delegates he got. All his delegates would be outside arguing with fence posts, telling them that fence posts aren’t mentioned in the Constitution. And that Israel is evil. And that they don’t trust the coloreds.”

    And they would be doing so on their unicorns.

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  5. We all know that Ron Paul wouldn’t get any of the things done that he has on his todo list. Instead he would generate a fair number of souviener veto pens.

    We all know that Mitt Romney will tack to the left once he doesn’t need the right any longer.

    We all know that Rick Perry will be portrayed as a Gorge Bush Cowboy only stupider.

    Most of us realise that Newt is Bipolar.

    And I think we all suspect that Rick Santorum will be a big crybaby, Like Glen Beck in a sweatervest.

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  6. First, learn English and how to spell…unpossible isn’t a word. Secondly, it’s one thing to support a candidate and quite another thing to say 7 binding delegates a juggernaut makes.
    I am not one of those people who be forced to pinch my nose and vote for a candidate. If Romney and Obama are the only choices I’m given, I choose none of the above.
    Romney would give us more Supreme Court justices such as Souter, O’Connor, and Kennedy. All unacceptable in my book.
    Romney is only marginally better than Obama and I cannot support either of them in good conscience.

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  7. “We all know that Ron Paul wouldn’t get any of the things done that he has on his todo list. Instead he would generate a fair number of souviener veto pens.”

    Yeah, but he’d get a lot done on his nottodo list.

    “First, learn English and how to spell…unpossible isn’t a word.”

    First, learn to get Simpsons references.

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  8. The problem with politics is that all of your choices seem to be politicians.

    Voting, especially in a presidential election, doesn’t mean picking the candidate that agrees with you 100% and is the best choice. Voting for president means picking the less-worse candidate. When you go into the voting booth, you look at the candidates and try to figure out which one is the most-destructive to our economy, our national defense, our borders, our freedom, our American way of life. Then you vote for the other guy.

    After the last few years, I’m having a hard time imagining a candidate worse than Obama. So in November, if it’s Romney or Obama, I’ll vote Romney. If it’s Santorum or Obama, I’ll vote Santorum. If it’s Ron Paul or Obama, I’ll suck it up and vote Ron Paul. Just like I sucked it up in ’08 and voted for McCain (who I believe is more of a RINO than Romney). Yes, the Republican field is bad… but none of them are as bad as Obama.

    Now isn’t the time to sit it out because your “conscience” doesn’t agree with your choices. Not voting for whoever the Republican candidate is nearly the same as voting for Obama. Marginally better is still better.

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  9. Dear Jimmy Martello,

    And furthermore, you can’t use the name Jimmy here. See, Jimmy is a registered trademark of me, Jimmy. It’s just unpossible to keep multiple Jimmy‘s straight. One Jimmy, namely me (Jimmy), is enough for everyone – probably too much. We don’t need no more Jimmy‘s here. “Martello” is okay – it’s not great – but it’ll due.

    Yours truly,
    Jimmy

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  10. Who is this Non Jimmy Jimmy? Who left the door imlocked? Frank needs to update our seceurity. I just don’t feel safe knowing any Tom, Dick or Jimmy can comment w/o our concent. Totally imacceptable. Basile be sure to lock the door at the end of the day

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  11. Yeah, Ed, as DamnCat alludes, it’s almost like some non-Irish Jimmy Jimmy’d (or is it Jimmied?) the locks!

    DamnCat – I could tell you my last name, but then I’d have to **** you – and everyone else. (Oh-oh. Edited since Homeland Security is monitoring media, news and blog sites now. We don’t want to get in trouble with them!)

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  12. What really pisses me off about the “Romney inevitable” garbage we keep hearing, is that Iowa, NH, and SC are all open primaries! We (read: a bunch of idiot Repubs and liberals in the media – not me!) are all ready to crown Romney the victor, and besides only having 7 delegates, all of those delegates have been partially chosen by dems.

    And then this whole inevitablitiy thing becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as a bunch of morons who don’t know anything about the candidates’ positions decide they want to support a “winner” instead of doing their research and voting for a candidate who represents them.

    I’m telling you, democracy is the worst form of government possible. (Except for every other form.)

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  13. Pingback: Right Wing Extremists: January 13, 2012 | REPUBLICAN REDEFINED

  14. Pingback: Juggernaut. | Washington Rebel

  15. I don’t know who the other Jimmy is, but I always include my last name to any comments I make on the internet. If I’m going to say something, I’m going to be brave enough to take complete responsibility for those comments.
    Just so it’s clear, I’m the Jimmy that is proudly a practicing Roman Catholic, Pro-Life, Pro-American, a Veteran, Pro-Family (the bigger the better), a true compassionate conservative, and always vote in a manner that reflects these values.

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