47 Comments

  1. … a Walnut Drop on the US, to rival the Berlin Airlift.

    … to return the “Harshly Worded Letters” back to the U.N., postage due.

    … to send heterosexual invasion forces to infiltrate the “fashion scenes” of San Francisco, Austin TX, and Providence RI.

    … to bomb strategic American targets, beginning with golf courses and fast food joints.

    … to make the major networks carry the president’s speech tonight.

  2. … to charge royalties to everyone who has ever played Tetris or used Russian dressing on a salad.

    … to challenge Obama to a slap flight.

    … to hack the POTUS teleprompter at an unspecified time and replace the speech with one from Ben Carson.

  3. …to sign an Executive Order nearly as damaging as the ones Obama does.

    …to stop spending on it’s military and give all the money to the DNC.

    …to replace the Manchurian Teleprompter with the Moscowvian Mudslinger.

    …to no longer recognize the 5 mile limit on Michelle’s butt, allowing them to do flyovers of Pittsburgh Steelers home games.

  4. In its latest act of aggression, Russia is threatening…

    … to repeal the 22nd amendment, so America will continue its slide into nothingburger laughingstock status on the world stage, courtesy of the WH choom-headed whiny brat and his clueless minions.

    … to ground Air Force 1, so the grifter will have to stay in Washington and sign more economically chilling Executive Orders.

  5. To replace all fast food menus with Michelle approved school lunches.

    Convert the GM production line in Detroit to produce Trabants.

    Make Hilary fashion editor at Vogue.

    Replace Megan Kelly with Rachel Maddow.

  6. … To invade and forcibly revoke term limits on the presidency.

    … To invade mainland USA. Obama is likely to respond by calling up the army… of social workers that worked on his campaign, to make sure all the Russian soldiers are issued green cards.

    … Nothing. Obama and western Europe are just cowering pre-emptively.

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