Archive for the ‘The Usual Stuff’ Category

A Million Dollars’ Worth of Free Advice

Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:00 pm

You can find the long version by watching this rambly, chatty video, or I can just boil it down for you into the money quote at 3:07

“That’s my advice for navigating the treacherous waters of life after school. Find someone who’s doing something you want to do, better than you can do it, and listen to them.”

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Partly I’d Be Curious, Partly I Just Want to See Liberals Hit With Rocks

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 10:00 pm

The Virginian [High Praise!] on Ferguson:

Here’s the baseline: MSNBC’s Larry O’Conner gets rocks thrown at him by masked members of the race riot in Ferguson. He’s quite calm about it and keeps spinning.

Let’s try an experiment, at the next Tea Party rally, throw rocks at the press.

There’s a video at the link. Rocks don’t happen until about 30 seconds in.

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Forget “Lean Forward”

Tuesday, August 26, 2014 7:00 pm

New tagline for MSNBC to more neatly encapsulate their smug, condescending sense of leftwardness:

“Progressiver Than Thou”

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You’re Not Paranoid – They Really Are Out to Get You. And It’s Legal, Too

Monday, August 25, 2014 7:00 pm

First, you couldn’t trust houseplants & potato chip bags.

But that’s not what’s going to do you in.

No, you’re doomed because of your super-fancy smart phone.

Not from the microphone or the GPS (although that’s not doing you any favors, privacy-wise), it’s the phone’s gyroscope, which automatically rotates the screen when you rotate the phone – it lets anybody eavesdrop on you [emphasis mine]:

The MEMS gyroscopes found on modern smart phones are sufficiently sensitive to measure acoustic signals in the vicinity of the phone. The resulting signals contain only very low-frequency information (< 200 Hz). Nevertheless we show, using signal processing and machine learning, that this information is sufficient to identify speaker information and even parse speech.

***Since iOS and Android require no special permissions to access the gyro, our results show that apps and active web content that cannot access the microphone can nevertheless eavesdrop on speech in the vicinity of the phone.***

This sort of thing is why I have a superunfancy blitheringidiotphone.

Oh, and at the link, you can also scroll down to find out what else that stalkerment officials don’t need permission to access.

If you need me, I’ll be over here under my tinfoil tent…

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Presidenting Is Hard

Saturday, August 23, 2014 10:57 am

In my new PJ Media column, I defend President Obama for all the vacations he takes.

In a way, his lack of concern about Ferguson should help with race relations, as we now know that a black president can care just as little about black people as a white president would. It’s probably a different kind of apathy, as Obama better understands what black people are going through, having experienced racism himself, but at least he is ignoring everyone equally.

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Hard Truth

Saturday, August 23, 2014 8:00 am

[High Praise! to Gunslinger's Journal]

A snarky comment found at a Bloomberg article on Africa

“Will Africa be the next China?”

Why sure! All they lack (besides sanitation) is writing, the wheel, 5,000 years of civilization, respect for their fellow citizens, respect for the law, an appreciation of education, a knack for bureaucracy, an inexhaustible capacity for work, respect for their elders, love of family and about 40 IQ points.

I may be wrong, but I think this answer may also apply in spirit to the degenerate rioting underclass in Ferguson.

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Quick Note on Strategy

Thursday, August 21, 2014 7:00 pm

[High Praise! to According to Hoyt]

I believe not in isolationism but in overkill. I believe that when attacked a country should do only one thing: retaliate hard enough to make the other guy afraid to do it again.

I don’t believe in bombing aspirin factories. I believe in bombing to the stone age.

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The Fear That Drives the Left

Wednesday, August 20, 2014 10:00 pm

[High Praise! to According to Hoyt]
_______________

In the end, they shout because they’re afraid. When your entire worldview is a one-piece, unwieldy, self-contradictory set of precepts that have no relation to the real world, you live in fear. If that thin shell cracks there’s nothing remaining of the world view you espoused, and upon which you built your unearned assumptions of intelligence and caring. You’ll have to think yourself into a new self image. A terrifying prospect for adults who’ve never had an original thought in their lives.
_______________

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You KNOW This Is Obama’s Next Government Program

Friday, August 15, 2014 7:00 pm

[High Praise! to Hope n' Change Cartoons]

Since it seems that the president has declared frequent vacations to be an absolute necessity of life, Hope n’ Change is wondering why the government isn’t making them available to everyone? Isn’t it time that all citizens had access to an Obamacation without regard to pre-existing conditions like, oh, being broke and jobless?

Perhaps when a well-rested Obama eventually returns to Washington, he’ll bring with him the new guidelines for this “Affordable Carefree Act.”

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We Need to Hold Him Accountable

Tuesday, August 12, 2014 7:00 pm

(My niece Sarah wrote this one)

The White House went on lockdown after a toddler squeezed through the fence and made it onto the White House lawn.

Ya know, stuff like this is just going to keep happening if Biden keeps leaving his toys laying around in the front yard.

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Promoted Comment: Obama’s Rapid Response

Friday, August 8, 2014 7:00 pm

Raving Lunatic [High Praise!] responded thusly to yesterday’s Straight Line: “President Obama’s plan to protect America from the deadly ebola virus…”

Staffer: “Pssst, MR. President, what’s the answer?”
O: “Hey, are you blind? I’m putting here. What other President has ever had to put up with this?
Staffer: “But Frank J asked a question. You wouldn’t want to appear unprepared in front of the press.”
O: “Who? Oh wait, that’s the guy who wrote my best biography, right? What was the question?”
Staffer: “What’s your plan to fight Ebola?”
O: “Which group of freedom fighters is that? The one in Africa or um… Atlantis, was it?”
Staffer: “The disease in Africa, sir.”
O: “Oh right, right. Ebola. That’s like chickenpox, right? Just infect everyone now and get it over with. Then everyone will be immune no one will ever catch it again.”

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Palestinians Are Hippies?

Wednesday, August 6, 2014 7:00 pm

John Kerry says:

“Israel has to live without terror and tunnels and rockets and sirens going on through the day,” Kerry said. “Palestinians have to be able to live freely and share in the rest of the world and live a life that is different from the one they have long suffered.”

Ok, ignoring Kerry’s fuzzy-dreamy wish list for the Palestinians of “live…share…live”, can we address the fact that it’s the Palestinians who are providing the “terror, tunnels, & rockets” that Israel must find a way to “live without”?

Easy solution – stop letting the Palestinians live. Or share. Or live.

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Happy Birthday, Mr. President

Monday, August 4, 2014 11:00 am

Some of you may be too young to remember when Marilyn Monroe sang “Happy Birthday” to President Kennedy in 1962. Heck, most of you are too young to remember it.

Well, today is the birthday of our 44th president. There is no Marilyn Monroe around to sing to him, but that doesn’t mean Barack Obama shouldn’t get a song. And that’s your task today. (Nobody told you there would be an assignment? You should always be ready for a surprise assignment!)

Who should sing to Barack Obama? And what should they sing?

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This Really Makes Me Not Like Obama (More)

Saturday, August 2, 2014 8:00 am

[High Praise! to Hope n' Change Cartoons]

—————-

In official comments for the celebration of the Eid-al-Fitr feast which comes at the end of Ramadan’s month-long period of fasting, the president praised Muslim-Americans for their many “achievements and contributions…to building the very fabric of our nation and strengthening the core of our democracy.”

[...]

According to a recent study, Obama enjoys greater support from Muslims than any other religious group in America – perhaps because he voices greater support for Muslims than any other religious group in America.

Seriously, have you ever heard the president praise Christianity for its role in putting a man on the moon? Have you heard him say that one of the “sweetest sounds on Earth” is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir? Can he even spell Presbyterian? We think not.

——————

Good question. How come Obama has never once praised Christianity?

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Catharsis

Wednesday, July 30, 2014 7:00 pm

Matt Walsh considers the “Check Your Privilege” meme:

—————–

And, in the end, what have we accomplished? You assume that by the mere fact of being a Caucasian male I’m as privileged and elite as the wealthy son of an oil tycoon, and I assume that you’re an oblivious, sheltered, brainwashed, insufferable liberal college student. We both negate the other based on the caricature we’ve painted, and then we go on with our lives. This whole exchange proves utterly pointless, but at least we get to stay in our comfort zones where our ideological opponents are narrow and manageable categories, rather than dynamic and uncontainable individuals.

But I guess that is the point, isn’t it? The ‘white male privilege’ shtick wasn’t invented to foster a dialogue, it was invented to suppress it. You tell someone to ‘check their privilege’ because you want to discount everything they just said. It’s a Get Out of Thinking card. It allows you to push wide swaths of people into a nice little box labeled ‘privileged’ and summarily disqualify every thought and idea they bring to the table.

——————

More here, but there’s some rough language ahead.

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Some days you just can’t get rid of a cheeseburger!

Friday, July 25, 2014 11:00 am

SomeDaysYou ever had one of those days where it felt kinda like a Twilight Zone episode? I had one recently.

I had taken a sandwich to work, planning to eat at my desk at lunch and get a few things done without being bothered. Of course, some things came up and I needed to run an errand. So, despite my plans to the contrary, it turns out that I’m leaving the office at lunch anyway. I eat and drive as I run my errands, and then, as I’m heading back to the office, I wind up stopped at a stop sign.

I saw her before I got to the intersection. So did the car in front of me. And the car in front of them. She finished talking to the car in front of me as I was approaching the intersection, and she walked out of the street back onto the sidewalk to the left.

I stopped at the stop sign, looked to the right, back to the left … and there she was at my window. Some sad story about wanting to get some money to buy food for her three kids — maybe it was four; more on that in a minute — in her car that’s over on 11th. She points the wrong way.

“I won’t give you any money, but I’ll get you some food. Be right back.”

So, I turn, realize that there’s a Burger King closer if I go the other way. So, I turn around and head towards the BK.

I forgot there’s also a McDonald’s right near the Burger King, and the McDonald’s is actually easier to get into and out of. So, I hit the drive-thru at the McDonald’s.

Couldn’t remember if it was three kids and four of them total, or if she said four kids. So, I order five McDoubles, five small fries, three bottles of milk, and two bottles of water.

I head back to the intersection where she was, and she’s nowhere to be found. So, I head towards 11th. She’s not there, and there’s no car with kids.

Okay, fine. I have five McDouble meals. Not a problem. Every time I stop for gas at the gas station across the street from the McDonald’s downtown (not the one I bought the burgers from), someone always approaches wanting money or a ride or something. So, I’ll just swing by there and find one of those people and give them some Mickey D’s. Only, for the first time in memory, there’s no bums hanging around.

Okay, there’s a few that hang around the downtown Burger King, so I head by there. None to be found.

Post Office. I often get accosted at the Post Office by someone claiming to be a veteran that served in some Army unit that never existed. So, I head to the Post Office. Nobody hanging around out front. There are even plenty of parking spaces. That never happens.

Ah. I know. The Synovus building. It’s over by the river, and there’s some homeless guy that sits on a bench overlooking the river walk and eats, sleeps, and does whatever else there, 24/7. So, off to the river. He’s not there.

It seems that all the homeless people took the day off. Here I am, stuck with five McDoubles, and now I’m starting to run late getting back to work.

The good news, I suppose, is that those people at work can eat. I mean, I’ve seen goats eat less.

I sorta wondered about all the homeless people. You see them all the time, but you never notice them. And now, here I am looking for them and I can’t find any. I’m still trying to figure out where they all went.

If you have any ideas, let me know. I’m curious as to what they’re up to.

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Scotch Tape: It’s Racist

Wednesday, July 23, 2014 7:00 pm

[High Praise! to Neatorama]

The particulars are hard to pin down, but everyone seems to agree that Scotch tape, the now-famous brand, originated as a slur. Back in the ’20s, Scotch was a synonym for “cheap.” Richard Drew, a 23-year-old research assistant at Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing, was trying to create a sticky-but-not-too-sticky adhesive tape for auto painters to use on two-tone paint jobs. When he erred on the not-too-sticky side, one of the car-painters asked, “Why so Scotch with the adhesive?” and a brand name was born.

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The Final Hours

Saturday, July 19, 2014 10:52 am

We’re to the last few hours of the Liberty Island PubSlush campaign, so contribute if you haven’t yet and support conservative and indie fiction. They have a special now that any pledge $100 or over get a Liberty Island polo or t-shirt, and any pledge $15 or over is entered to win an iPad mini or Kindle Fire HDX. And any pledge $5 or more will get Superego, my first novel. Is there any prize better than that? No, there is not.

So contribute and support me and other conservatives fighting in the culture war. It’s the least you can do if you’re not some sort of Communist who hates America and freedom and science fiction.

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Happy birthday, Sarah K!

Saturday, July 19, 2014 9:35 am

It’s Sarah K’s birthday. And she’s…

Well, now do I want to go with jokes about age? No. But, I do think it’s kinda funny about how women get all hot and bothered about jokes about age. Even hot women. Only they get hotter, but in not the good way.

Maybe we could offer suggestions for things for Frank J to do, since husbands never know what to get the wife for their birthday. But how many times can you do that?

So, what do you do? Offer a simple “Happy Birthday” and go on? Well, yeah, that would probably be best.

So, happy birthday, Sarah K.

[Note: If the rest of you want to crack age jokes, go ahead. Although Sarah K is quite capable of stopping you from having your next birthday, so be careful. Maybe you should go with lame gift suggestions for Frank J.]

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Culture Warrior

Tuesday, July 15, 2014 11:30 am

We’re to the last few days of the Liberty Island PubSlush campaign.

Now, we all talk about wanting a country where more people respected freedom, but too much of the battle is done in politics which is like trying to drag people along with us. We want people to happily go down the path of liberty, and for that, we need to fight on the battleground of culture. And that’s what I’m doing now; I’m out there in the trenches, writing novels and stories and getting ready for the culture war. And so are others like me. Well, not just like me. I think I’ve kind carved out my own unique niche. It would be weird to find someone just like me. He might then be the evil Jrank F., fighting on behalf of the left. Hopefully that’s not true.

So what was I saying? Oh yeah, there’s me and other conservatives out there getting ready to fight on the side of culture, and you can support us by helping Liberty Island get its start so it can be a proper publishing house. So give to the PubSlush campaign and choose from lots of different rewards. And as long as you give at least $5, you will get my first novel. And as a new special reward, if you give $35 or more, you’ll get a signed copy of my novel Superego along with whatever reward you signed up for. And my novel will be epic. Think of that: a 100,000 words written by me. Can you imagine what they’ll be? No, you can’t. Only I could imagine that. And only I could write that novel. Scifi action adventure with a punch of humor. It’s unimaginable how entertained you will be. I envy you. Until I remember I’m me.

So give to the campaign and spread the word. And remember: $35 or more gets a signed copy of Superego along with whatever reward you sign up for. And you only have until Friday to join in. So, let’s hit the $25,000 goal. And let’s win this culture war for the soul of America and liberty.

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