Archive for the ‘The Usual Stuff’ Category

Conservative Book Club

Thursday, March 26, 2015 11:00 am

There’s a new Conservative Book Club!

One thing, though, they don’t have much on their list of fiction. What they do have, though, are the first two novels from Liberty Island, which includes Superego.

Now, the thing is, conservatives needs more support of fiction. While we have numerous, well-known non-fiction books, those tend not to be read very much outside of the base of people who are already conservative. If we want to make inroads on influencing the culture, we need more fiction — book that perhaps non-political people will read. So it would be nice if you’d help encourage the Conservative Book Club to expand its fiction offering by joining up and rating my book and The Big Bang by Roy M. Griffis. If they see interaction in the fiction section, they might invest more into it. And then we’d maybe see more popular fiction by people who actually like liberty. So you’d not only be helping me, you’d helping the country.

You like this country, right? I know I do.

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Promoted Comment: The Meaning of Manners

Wednesday, March 25, 2015 10:00 pm

A well-phrased pondering from DamnCat [High Praise!]

Remember when it considered impolite to ask someone about his or her political views?

Once upon a time, not so long ago, there were certain topics that well-mannered people simply did not discuss with strangers or even mere acquaintances. Chief among these were income, politics, and religion.

The primary reason for these things were not discussed wasn’t because the topics were divisive. The reason they weren’t discussed was two-fold: 1) whether someone else made more or less money than you, whether or not they were of your faith (or any faith), or how they voted should have no bearing on how you treat your fellow citizen; 2) It was none of your damn business.

Eventually, after you got to know someone, you’d learn these things. By that time you’d have already decided whether or not they were a good person, whether they were likeable or trustworthy – and those judgments were made solely on your interactions with them as a person not on any prejudices you might have against some group they might belong to.

Good times. Long gone it seems.

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Camp Hillary

Friday, March 20, 2015 5:15 pm

Things Hillary has planned for her adult fun camps

  • Frontal lobotomies
  • Laundering her foreign donations
  • White Water activities
  • A double elimination tournament of Pin the Cigar on the Intern
  • Crafting all those handmade leather Vote for Hillary wallets
  • Shredding, shredding, shredding
  • Classes on how to carry two phones at once
  • Relaxing crayon time with her special connect the dots edition of The Vagina Monologues Coloring Book
  • First aid training for those who can’t afford healthcare on the exchanges
  • Archery competitions involving hunting homeless men who have been dressed like Ted Nugent
  • Flag burning for beginners
  • Extinguishing burning flag burners for beginners
  • The First Annual Symbolism over Substance hot dog chopping competition


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Are We All Sociopaths in Our Own Special Way?

Friday, March 20, 2015 11:00 am

In a new PJ Media article talking about issues from Superego, I ask whether we’re all a bit like Rico in being sociopaths at times.

What do you think? Is it possible IMAO readers could be sociopaths? That sounds crazy.

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The Economics of The Hudsucker Proxy

Friday, March 20, 2015 10:00 am

Okay, so not the most popular Cohen brothers movie, but it has some great economics lessons to riff off of. So here’s a new EconPop about supply and demand and minimum wage.

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WaPo Mocks Starbucks

Thursday, March 19, 2015 10:00 pm

The Washington Post’s Alexandra Petri imagines a conversation about race at Starbucks:

Starbucks Customer: One flat white, please.

Barista: Name?

Starbucks Customer: A. Terrible Racist. That is my name, but it also describes me. I am a terrible racist.

Barista: (smiling, writes “Race Together” on cup next to impeccably spelled name)

Starbucks Customer: “Race together”? What’s this?

Barista: (smiling more broadly) I’m so glad you asked. We have problems in this country with regard to race and racial inequality.

Starbucks Customer: What? No!

Barista: But I believe we’re better than this, and I believe the country’s better than this. And that’s why there’s need for compassion, and need for empathy, and need for love towards others.

Starbucks Customer: Wow. You’re so right. I never saw that before, but wow. I have a lot of people to apologize to, and I’m going to go pay this forward, you ever bet! I’m telephoning all my uncles immediately to explain why they are wrong!

Barista: Great. Can I help whoever’s next, please?

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Inclusive of Psychopaths

Wednesday, March 18, 2015 11:00 am

I wrote a blog post!

…Just not here. I have a guest post at Sarah Hoyt’s blog about inclusiveness in science fiction and whether Social Justice Warriors are being insensitive to psychopaths. It’s a very sensitive think-piece — the sort of thing I’m known for. Enjoy!

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What Does It Mean to Be “Civilized”?

Friday, March 13, 2015 11:00 am

In another article analyzing themes from Superego, I look into what it means to be “civilized.”

No one expects to be beaten to death by Mr. Peanut. Of course not — the dude wears a top hat and a monocle. And even though he carries a cane and could easily start to bludgeon you with it at any moment, that possibility has never entered your brain, because Mr. Peanut is the picture of civility.

Read. Enjoy. Discuss.

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How to Be Funny

Thursday, March 12, 2015 11:00 am

Want to learn how to be funny like me? Well, I boiled all the complexities of humor into 6 easy tips. If anyone doesn’t laugh at your new found humor abilities, it will be because of something wrong with them and not because of your jokes. That happens to me all the time.

So go read my tips and then test out your humor in the comments. I’m sure that won’t be awkward.

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Wednesday, March 11, 2015 11:00 am

I know. I’ve been a bad blogger lately, but it’s been a crazy time for me. Just spent more than a twelve hour day on location for this project we’re filming. Well, I’m not doing much filming; as the writer, my job was mainly to cringe at dialogue that it was too late rewrite. But anyway, it’s pretty cool. I was lead writer for the script, and now stuff I wrote is being made reality by professionals and it is pretty intimidating. I’m just trying to learn stuff — like I now know what a gaffer is. I also know why it can take more than an hour to properly film a one minute piece of dialogue. Anyway, you should get to see the finished result in May, and it will be awesome. It might even be released in 4K (we’re filming it all in 6K).

Also, working on Emergent Order’s SXSW party, dProgram. So if you’re in SXSW this weekend and have an interactive badge, you can stop by the Parish and say hi.

Oh, and I’m still trying to sell my novel, so buy a copy if you haven’t for some reason. And tell your friends. Or even your enemies. And strangers.

So, I’ll try to get back to more blogging… in the future. For now, I should have more stuff going up at PJ Media soon. God bless.

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Life With ISIS – Open Enrollment The End

Wednesday, March 11, 2015 9:45 am

(somewhere secret in the desert)

Corporate HR Imam: Before we get into the benefits, I want to quickly remind everyone that if you want to be part of the marriage raffle, please get your tickets into the bucket.  We will be drawing as each daughter exits the genital mutilation tent.

Habib: And how many tickets may we enter again?

Corporate HR Imam: Everyone is allowed four wives in total, so you may enter the number of tickets equal to 4 minus the number of current wives you have.

Galid: Wait a minute.  I am confused.  No one said there would be maths.  Death to story problems!  I mean, I can count to twenty-one if I remove my breeches, but how do you expect me to do those subtractions?  Do I look like an autism to you?

Ali: Where is Rainmomar when you need him?

Rainmomar (mumbling): 2 minutes to drone strikes.  Definitely, definitely 2 minutes.

Corporate HR Imam: If you have any problems figuring it out, just put in four tickets. If in the end you end up with more than four wives, there are plenty of stones around. We can remedy it.  But let’s deal with that when the time comes. We have some very exciting new benefits now that the caliphate is established. As I mentioned before, under Sharia Law you will all be receiving free healthcare, and I think we can all agree that that is a big f—ing deal.

Galid: Does it cover pre-existing conditions? My daughter can tell you, I have a terrible case of crotch rot.

Corporate HR Imam: Pre-existing conditions will be covered, post-existing conditions will not.  But let’s try and hold off on the questions until the end.  Under Sharia Health Care, or SHC, you are covered for all health issues or treatments mentioned in the Quran.  Anything else would just be ungodly.  We’ll be passing out Qurans to everyone so you can finally read it and see what is in it.

Ahmed: I have a question.  What about my sleepers in America?  They are part of the caliphate, yes?  Are they covered under SHC?

Galid: Yes, everyone in my cells was forced to buy insurance on the exchanges.  It cost so much they could not afford the explosives.  Obamacare alone stopped all of my scheduled attacks for 2014, Allah spit upon it.  Obamacare sounds like a Jewish conspiracy to me.

Corporate HR Imam: We have been made aware of those issues, and we will provide all our sleepers with SHC proof of insurance, so that should solve that problem going forward. I mean, that really is money down the tubes.  How healthy does someone have to be to blow themselves up?

Ali: That is very good news.  Obamacare didn’t even cover my sleeper’s health needs.  Obama said he could keep his doctor if he liked this doctor, but under Obamacare, the old crone he used to go to isn’t even considered a doctor.  It is crazy!

Ahmed: Yes.  And my sleeper’s monthly leachings and bloodletting are not even covered. And they claimed preventative medicine was important.

Ali: Exactly.  It requires to pay for birth control, but then it does not pay to have a camel kick that pregnant whore in the belly or for the supplies needed for the honor killing.  Obamacare does not care about the health of our people.

Galid: Obamacare is racism straight up!

Ali: Death to Obamacare!

Ahmed: Death to America!

(all ululating and shooting guns into the air)

Rainmomar (mumbling): 30 seconds to drone attack.  28 seconds (starts hitting himself on the head and running away)

Corporate HR Imam: Ok, calm down everyone.  Please calm down.  Can some of you go and bring back Rainmomar?

(Galid, Habib, Ali and Ahmed run after Rainmomar as the drones fly in and attack.  There are many minutes of wanton destruction)

Corporate HR Imam: Praise Allah the medical coverage isn’t effective until 3/15.  This would break us.

Rainmomar (looking over the aftermath of the attack): 43,569 mujahideen left.  Definitely 43,569.  Paradise definitely needs 478,656 more virgins.  Definitely 478,656.


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This Sounds Familiar

Sunday, March 8, 2015 3:00 pm

Found at According to Hoyt [High Praise!]

In my study of communist societies, I came to the conclusion that the purpose of communist propaganda was not to persuade or convince, nor to inform, but to humiliate; and therefore, the less it corresponded to reality the better. When people are forced to remain silent when they are being told the most obvious lies, or even worse when they are forced to repeat the lies themselves, they lose once and for all their sense of probity. To assent to obvious lies is to co-operate with evil, and in some small way to become evil oneself. One’s standing to resist anything is thus eroded, and even destroyed. A society of emasculated liars is easy to control.

– Theodore Dalrymple

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Promoted Comment: Mighty Presidential Quotes

Saturday, March 7, 2015 3:00 pm

In the comments to a post quoting Obama as saying

“Let’s roll up our sleeves, work together, and try to get something done.”

ConnecticutCompromise [High Praise!] reminded us of other stirring presidential remarks:


“The buck could stop here.”

“December 7th, 1944. A date which might just go down in infamy.”

“We hold these truths to be possible.”

“A house divided should sit down and talk out their differences.”

“Mr. Gorbachev, would you please try to tear down that wall.”

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Jen Psaki IS Ian Competent

Friday, March 6, 2015 9:00 pm

From an In My World featuring the Rumsfeld Strangler and Detective Ian Competent:

“Do you have any suspects at least?” Melinda asked angrily.

“When we got here, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld had his hands around the victim’s throat,” Ian told her, “and he said he hadn’t seen anyone else in the apartment. So, no, we have no suspects. We’ll probably just plant evidence on a minority and arrest him… standard police procedure.” [emphasis mine]

From an article quoting State Department spokesweasel Jen Psaki about the murder of an American anti-Islamist writer who was murdered by Islamists who claimed credit for the murder:

QUESTION: – does the – is the Administration at a point where it can ascribe any kind of motive to this? Do you believe that it was anything more than just a murder? It certainly seems that the circumstances surrounding it would indicate that it is.

MS. PSAKI: We don’t have more information at this point. We, of course, will provide consular assistance as is appropriate. We’re also – stand ready to assist in the investigation if asked. Clearly, we know his background, which was why I outlined it, but don’t have anything to ascribe in terms of a motive in this case. [emphasis mine]

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Life With ISIS – Open Enrollment Part 2

Friday, March 6, 2015 11:00 am

(somewhere secret in the desert)

Corporate HR Imam: So are there any more questions or concerns about the vaccinations before we move on?

Galid: I am confused. You made mention of a stretch goal. What is this? I have not heard of such a thing.

Habib: Me neither. I assumed it deals with the hanging of homosexuals. That is the only stretching I have ever done on the job.

Ahmed: Except for the stretching you do before raping and pillaging to avoid sprains and strains.

Habib: Huh?

Ahmed: Do you even pay attention to our training? You probably do not lift with your legs either.

Habib: Were you not listening? We get free healthcare now, praise Allah, so what does it matter if we get injured a little bit? We will be fixed up, Allah willing.

Galid: But what has this to do with stretch goals? I am still confused.

Corporate HR Imam: Galid, just don’t worry yourself about stretch goals, alright. Forget I even said it. It’s not something that the cannon fodd- I mean, the valiant foot soldiers need to worry about. It’s boring upper management stuff. But before we get into the new benefits, management has asked us to brainstorm about the newest threat against us from America.

Ali: Death to America!

(All ululate and shoot guns into air)

Ahmed: Death to the Great Satan!

Galid: I spit upon their threat!

Rainmomar (mumbling): 7 minutes to drone strike. 7 minutes. Definitely…definitely 7 minutes.

Corporate HR Imam: I really like your enthusiasm, but let’s calm down a bit and discuss this. The Americans-

Ali: Death to America!

(All ululate and shoot guns into air)

Corporate HR Imam: Calm down, please. Calm down. Yes, we all wish death to America. But let’s put the guns down for just a few minutes. The Great Satan had a conference to discuss how to deal with violent extremism.

Galid: And that is us? We are violent extremism?

Corporate HR Imam: Yes. They consider us violent extremists.

Galid: But I am confused. I always thought we were pretty moderate. I mean, I’ll kill someone who is an infidel, or an apostate, or a Sunni, or someone who insults the Messenger of Allah, or cartoonists, or homosexuals, or rape victims, or people running those stupid marathons in those sexy little shorts, or women wearing yoga pants, or family members who dishonor me in some way, or those douchebags who take up two parking spots, or if I could ever get my hands on that Bill Maher guy, but who wouldn’t? I mean that is just normal, right?

(All nodding assent)

Corporate HR Imam: In the twisted view of the infidel, that is all extreme. There is just no talking to those people. But, like I was saying, they had that conference about how to deal with us, and here is the solution they came up with. There it is up on the screen.  The solution to violent extremism begins in your community.


(All stare quizzically at the screen)

Galid: I am so confused. The solution? I thought violence was the answer. Why else are we striving to bring it to every community, Allah willing?

Ahmed: What does this even mean? Are they arming their communities? Training their children in their schools to fight us? What is this?

Corporate HR Imam: As far as we can tell, they are trying to remove arms from public places, making schools and malls and other public places gun-free zones.

Ali: So our agents do not even have to give up their lives to attack these targets?

Ahmed: Is this a white flag of surrender? Have we won?

(All chanting Dar al Islam and Allahu akbar)

Corporate HR Imam: Ok everybody. Settle down, please. That’s what we are trying to pick everyone’s brains about. This is the latest White House threat against us, and we don’t understand how it threatens us. We don’t even understand it enough to be able to combat it.

Ali: Could it be the economy? Maybe if the American hippies who put that together had jobs?

Galid: I’d rather just kill them, Allah be praised.

Rainmomar (mumbling): 3 minutes to drone strike. Definitely 3, 3 minutes.

(to be continued, maybe, if I feel like it)

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Did the Jetsons Go to Church?

Friday, March 6, 2015 11:00 am

In another PJ Media post exploring themes from Superego, I write about what’s the future of religion.

Science! It’s given us lasers and spaceships and explained the many great mysteries of life, like what is the sun, where does lightning come from, and what’s the deal with platypuses? Every day, the men in the lab coats tease out more secrets from this universe, and technology solves more of our problems (remember back in the day, when if you were lost in the woods, you couldn’t pull out your phone and quickly look up the filmography of the guy who played Balki in Perfect Strangers?). So as we go into a future with robots and a greater knowledge of quantum physics, what exactly do we need thousands-of-years-old texts on morality for?

Enjoy. And discuss.

There’s also another excerpt of Superego at PJ Media if for some insane reason you haven’t bought and read the book already.

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Another Thing to Keep Me From Blogging

Friday, March 6, 2015 9:00 am

The lovely and talented SarahK and I are having kid number 3 (due date 9/14).

Kid Three

We don’t have any names picked out yet — especially if he’s a boy. I’m thinking “Bort.” Then I’d know if people were cool because they’d ask, “Why’d you give your kid such a popular name.”

So I have a cool new job. I have a script I wrote being filmed. I’m working on my first iOS app. I have my first novel out. And I have a third kid on the way. Big year for me. Sorry to be so light on blogging lately, but them’s the breaks.

God bless.

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Life With Isis – Open Enrollment

Wednesday, March 4, 2015 11:00 am

(somewhere secret in the desert)

Corporate HR Imam: Welcome everybody to our first open enrollment fair. Now that Baghdadi has announced the caliphate, we will be able to fully implement Sharia which means many new and exciting benefits will be coming your way this year. You may be wondering why we had Bring Your Daughter to Work Day the same day we are having the open enrollment fair. Don’t worry. You’ll have plenty of time this afternoon to share the rough and tumble workday of the ISIS mujahideen with your daughters. But we wanted your daughters here today so they can enjoy the new benefits immediately. As you are all aware, under Allah’s law, healthcare is not a privilege but a right. May I please direct all your daughters to the Healthcare Tent to my right so they can get their free vaccinations and genital mutilations?

Ahmed: Wait a minute. Did I just hear you right? You want to vaccinate my daughter?

Galid: I am confused. I thought that vaccinations were a fiendish plot by the Jews to give us the autism.

Corporate HR Imam: Claims that vaccines cause autism have been thoroughly debunked. You have nothing to fear.

Galid: Ah, but is that not what the Jews would want us to think?

Ahmed: Was not Jonas Salk a Jew? You expect me to believe that a Jew would cure polio and invent vaccines out of the goodness of his black heart? Surely Allah laughs at such a thing.

Ali: Death to vaccines!

All ululating and shooting into the air

Galid: Death to autism!

Ahmed: Death to free preventative medicine!

Ali: Death to declining infant mortality rates!

Habib: Death to AIDS!

Corporate HR Imam: Calm down, everyone. Calm down. I can guarantee you that the vaccines are safe.  I’ll be getting them myself.

Galid: I am confused.  Do you expect me to believe that such great minds as Charlie Sheen and Jenny McCarthy could be mistaken?  Allah forfend.  How could this be?

Ahmed: Yes. I do not want my daughter to catch the autism.

Galid: Yes. Yes.  My daughter is already too smart. We have kept her out of school, but it does no good. If she got the autism and could then do the counting better than me and beat me every time at the blackjack, the shame would be too great.  I would have to honor kill her, Allah forbid.

Corporate HR Imam: Let’s think about this logically for a minute. Why would the Jews want to give any of us autism? What good would that do?

Ahmed: Have you ever tried to brainwash a child with autism?

Ali: Yes. It does no good. They just stare off into space and hit the ground with a stick. I cannot even get them to ululate.  If all our young recruits had the autism….

Galid: Maybe if there were casinos of the Great Satan around here, we could use the autisms for fundraising, but then Allah forbids us from gambling. I am so confused.

Ahmed: But it is not gambling, my friend, if it is a sure thing.

Corporate HR Imam: Why do I get the feeling that everything you know about autism you learned from watching Rainman? You probably are not aware that we already have some mujahideen with autism, and their skills are very valuable to our cause. Rainmomar? Are you here? Please come forward Rainmomar.

Rainmomar: 50,217 mujahideen. 50,000…50,217.

Corporate HR Imam: Rainmomar has been very helpful to our cause.

Rainmomar: 5,356,125,342 infidels left to behead. 5,356,125,342 infidels.

Corporate HR Imam: He handles all our numbers for us.

Rainmomar: 13 bullets.  13 bullets in your magazine.  13.

Ali: Ah.  See!  He is wrong.  My magazine holds 30 bullets.

Corporate HR Imam: But did you not just shoot many into the air?

Ali: Oh yeah. Wow.  He is right.  I only have 13 left.

Corporate HR Imam: He is great for our logistics and planning.  And you wouldn’t believe how much time he saves us during our annual inventory accounting.

Rainmomar: 106,660 beheadings per mujahideen. 100,000…..106,660 beheadings.

Corporate HR Imam: See?  He’s better than an abacus. If we can meet our stretch goals for massive destruction and recruiting, we hope to get that beheading ratio cut in half by the end of Q4. Thank you, Rainmomar. You may sit down.

Rainmomar (mumbling): 12 minutes to drone attack. 12. 12 minutes.

Corporate HR Imam: What was that? No bother. Lets’ get back on track and talk about the exciting new benefit package under full Sharia.

(To be continued, maybe, if I feel like it)

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8 Frank Rules For How Not to Tweet

Tuesday, March 3, 2015 2:12 pm

Because I love you all (in a extremely distant father sort of way), I’m now giving writing advice on PJ Media. This week, I’m telling you what not to do when Tweeting.


BTW, did I mention I have a novel out?

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Iran: Who’s Your Daddy? Obama: You’re My Daddy.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015 9:45 am

According to my man in State, the arms deal with Iran is going swimmingly.  Here is some of the diplomatic give and take Obama will be making to sweeten the deal:

  • A new PBS kids show: Mr. Ahmedinejad’s neighborhood
  • Iran will officially blame Bush for their nuclear program
  • Out of the radioactive ashes, Barack will be given Obamastan
  • The Ayatollah gets to keep Kerry as his personal eunuch
  • Free birth certificates and social security numbers for any Iranian who can get across the border
  • Obama gets to declare the Middle East a nuclear weapon free zone, so Israel must give up their weapons
  • The only droning allowed by Americans will be Barack’s speeches
  • Iran will allow US sponsored Job Fairs into Tehran
  • Obama has agreed to return America to its pre-1492 borders
  • Hillary will be confined to a burka now and forevermore
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