Random Thoughts: Trying to Keep Up with the Trump Presidency

Better Call Saul is in many ways different than Breaking Bad, but I enjoy it just as much. An absolutely superb show.
And why does the ending of each episode always catch me off guard? It’s like most shows would have one scene more.
One of my favorite things in Better Call Saul are the minimal dialog mysteries of “What is Mike up to?”

Seems like there has to be a way to fire a guy everyone wants fired without it being controversial.

It’s hard to tell if he’s winning at 3D chess or losing at 2D tic-tac-toe.

Kinda seems like Trump missed his calling of writing explainer pieces for Vox.

“Mr. President, what are you doing?”
“It’s a brand new thing I invented I’m calling ‘huffing paint.'”

Trump has to be our absolute worst president until the next one.

I’m still kinda unclear on how upset to get about the terrible president firing the terrible FBI director for terrible reasons.

Instead of “priming the pump,” Trump should’ve claimed he invented the phrase “laughing up their sleeves.” More would believe him.

My prediction for 2020 is Trump will go into the election with an approval in the mid 20s and will win in a landslide.

It’s happening!

Opening sentence subject to change.

When Americans are used to showing photo IDs for a hundred minor things, it’s a tough sell to say you shouldn’t have to do that for voting.

I was going to do a tweet like “Trump has been indicted… in crazyland ” but it’s hard to imagine crazyland without president Trump.

Let’s save impeachment for if Trump ever gets boring. Right now, we already have a pretty full news cycle.

The sealed indictment is a Trump trap. If you open it, it says, “Whoever is reading this is now indicted.”

It is becoming a bit of epidemic with all the homeless Millennials trying to kick an avocado toast habit.

Well, Trump means well.[citation needed]

With these type stories it’s always a 50/50 chance that either
A) Trump is that horrible
B) It’s a nothingburger blown up by Trump haters

The Russian story has been completely debunked. There’s no such thing as a “President Trump.” It makes no sense. How would that even happen?

Maybe there should be a Dwane Johnsons/Chris Pratt ticket. Don’t talk issues; just win on sheer likability.

That Zelda may have been one of the best games ever made, but the new Mario Kart really shows off the Switch’s strengths.
It really is a magic trick to go between playing it multiplayer on 1080p on a big screen to popping it out and playing it in handheld mode.
And that you can set it down anywhere and slide off the two side controller for multiplayer Mario Kart is pretty awesome.
To me, the convenience of the Switch is worth the graphics trade off (and it’s not like the games aren’t beautiful).
I’m hoping 3rd party support picks up. I want a Call of Duty I can play while lying comfortably in bed.

Overall, the Trump presidency is going about as well as could be reasonably expected.

He needs to hold out at least two months longer if I’m going to win the “How Long Will a Trump Presidency Last” pool.

With this whole Comey memo thing, someone – either Trump or the media – is going to lose what tiny bit of credibility they had left.

Trump lucked out; he accidentally gave all of Comey’s memos to visiting Russians.

Know what’s a fun fantasy right now? President Romney. Bland, boring Romney.
Sure, partisan Dems would still find a reason to call him worse than Hitler, but the rest of us would just be chillin’.
Alas, we’ve decided to live in interesting times. Oh the stories we’ll have to tell our grandkids!

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Yet Another Reason to Be Suspicious When People Claim Things Cause Other Things

[Regression to the Mean] (Viewer #1,348,314)

I took a statistics course in college. I don’t remember covering this topic. But what he’s saying makes perfect sense.

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Donald Trump, DDS, Defangs the Left on Bannon

From the writeup of Trump’s recent Bloomberg News interview:

Trump even revealed his own term for Bannon’s ideology: “alt-left,” a play on Bannon’s ties to the nationalist conservative movement sometimes called the alt-right.

Why alt-left? “Bannon’s more of a libertarian than anything else, if you want to know the truth,” Trump said Monday during an interview with Bloomberg News in the Oval Office.

Bannon isn’t “alt-left”. There isn’t even such a thing as the “alt-left”. Trump knows both of those things.

So why say it?

Because now every leftist commentator everywhere will have to spend the next week saying exactly what I just said. A good week or so of swatting at ghosts.

And every time they open their stupid leftist mouths on the topic, they’ll drive the term “alt-left” further into the national consciousness and make this non-existent thing become an actual thing, just as nebulous, ill-defined, and muddy as the left’s favorite bludgeon of “alt-right”.

From now on, every time a liberal dribbles on about “alt-right”, they’ll have to bring up the “alt-left”, too, if only to deny it.

Welcome to the Streisand Effect, liberal muckrakers.

Well played, Mr. President. Bacon to you, sir!

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Link of the Day: They Want to Do to History What Rome Did to Carthage

[High Praise! to Cat Rotator’s Quarterly via Sarah Hoyt of Instapundit]

And Then What?

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Cartoon of the Day – Unlocked

[Gary Varvel – GoComics]

Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t think a military should go unchecked. It was designed by the Constitution to always be under civilian control. However, I don’t think the military should have unreasonable restrictions upon them. If we aren’t going to let our military fight a war with everything it’s got, we shouldn’t fight the war.

Military force is an extreme measure that should be used in extreme circumstances only. But, if circumstances necessitate its use, it should be used to utterly defeat the enemy. War is hell. It should be hell. As such, we should try everything we can to avoid it. But, if we have to fight a war, we should rain such hell down upon the enemy so that the next potential enemy will do everything they can to avoid a war with us.

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Cartoon of the Day – End

[Steve Kelley – GoComics]

Actually, I’m not that worried about things. I understand how some worry, but you have to remember, I lived through the Cold War.

On the other hand, as I was telling my crackpot neighbor the other day, it is quite dangerous today because at least, during the Cold War, they knew we didn’t want to blow up the world and we knew they didn’t want to blow up the world. Some people today, though, are crazy. And I’m not just talking about that nut in DPRK. If some of those Moslem Jihadists got their hands on nukes, all bets are off.

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By the way, which one is Pink?

Pink Floyd has a shrimp named after them.

No, that’s not the punch-line. That’s the actual summary of a AP story as reported on ABC News:

The shrimp found on Panama’s Pacific coast has been dubbed Synalpheus pinkfloydi in the peer-reviewed journal Zootaxa. Oxford University Museum of Natural History researcher Sammy De Grave is one of three researchers credited with discovering the creature. He says the description of the shrimp was “the perfect opportunity to finally give a nod to my favorite band.”

I suppose there are worse things than having a shrimp named after you. Better things, too.

But it got me to thinking. There have been bands named after animals. Or nearly so. The Beatles. The Crickets. Eagles. The Animals (duh!).

But what music groups should have animals named after them? Any suggestions?

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When you have a burning desire for chicken…

A KFC in Denton, Manchester (that’s in the UK) is closed.

That’s not what’s unusual. I know many KFC stores that need to close. Or at least, do a better job of hiring if they stay open.

No, what’s unusual is why it’s closed. It burned.

Okay, a restaurant burning isn’t really all that unusual. You know of a restaurant or two that closed because of a fire.

It burned because it the fire spread from the burning car at the drive-thru window. Now we’re talking. That is unusual. BBC reports:

Dean Gardner, who took pictures of the aftermath, said KFC staff told him the car was already on fire as it pulled up to the restaurant order window.

A KFC spokesperson said: “We’re proud of the quick thinking and brave actions of our team members, and immensely relieved that no one was hurt.

I wonder if that’ll lead to a new menu item. Besides Original Recipe, Extra Crispy, the chain offers Kentucky Grilled, Nashville Hot, and Georgia Gold. Maybe they’ll add Manchester Fire?

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Easter Sunday 2017

EmptyTombLuke 24: 1-9

  1. Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them.
  2. And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre.
  3. And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus.
  4. And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments:
  5. And as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead?
  6. He is not here, but is risen: remember how he spake unto you when he was yet in Galilee,
  7. Saying, The Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again.
  8. And they remembered his words,
  9. And returned from the sepulchre, and told all these things unto the eleven, and to all the rest.
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Wednesday Staff Meeting

IMAO Headquarters, 9:00 AM


Yes, Mr. Fleming.

Where is everyone?

Uh, they’re, um, they’re all at work. At their desks.

Don’t give me that. I’m Skyping in at 8:00 and you’re the only one at work.

Usually, Harvey’s here and does the meetings in the break room. It’s normal for me to be here alone, so I haven’t given it another thought.

Hey, I just stopped in to get a doughnut. What’s up?

Basil! I’ve been reading what you posted. Why are we suddenly the public relations team for Mystery Science Theater 3000?

I can do some Doctor Who posts. It returns this weekend.

Go write something. And quit drawing on the walls.

Sure thing. There are no doughnuts here anyway. See ya later!

I’ll be glad when Harvey gets back.

You, me, and all the readers, boss.

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Where’s Harvey?

Yeah, I know Harvey said he’s “on vacation” but you don’t believe that any more than I do.

We’ve called around different places and we can’t find Harvey anywhere. I called Disney World — (407) 939-5277 — and they said he wasn’t there.

I called the White House — (202) 456-1414 — and he’s not been there.

I even called the Walmart store across from the mall in Savannah — (912) 344-9664 — and he wasn’t there either.

I’m out of places to call. So, you got any ideas?

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Pesach Sameach

Exodus 12

  1. “Obey these instructions as a lasting ordinance for you and your descendants.
  2. When you enter the land that the Lord will give you as he promised, observe this ceremony.
  3. And when your children ask you, ‘What does this ceremony mean to you?’
  4. then tell them, ‘It is the Passover sacrifice to the Lord, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt and spared our homes when he struck down the Egyptians.'”” Then the people bowed down and worshiped.
  5. The Israelites did just what the Lord commanded Moses and Aaron.

To our friends of the Jewish faith, we wish you a happy Passover.

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Further Proof of Donald Trump’s Russian Ties – New York Times (Probably)

Reports have come out from failing rags glorious bastions of truth such as the New York Times, that President Donald J Trump let the Russians know about his not-Rand-Paul-approved strike on a Syrian airbase before it happened!.

This is obvious collusion. Heck, this whole attack was obviously orchestrated by the Kremlin via a phone call to Bannon. Probably. The Russians clearly want to destroy Assad and just are pretending to help him. Except, in a plot twist, they actually do want to help him and they are using President Trumps multi-dimensional chess skills to make it look like they are helping him, to hide the fact that they aren’t, which is just a cover for actually wanting to help him.

There can be no other explanation for such a blatant not-Rand-Paul-approved attack on Syrian territory. And as we all know, President Trump is basically a clone of Vladimir Putin that the Soviet Union created back in the before times, during the Cold War Glorious Soviet Era of Super Peace and Prosperity.

Except they didn’t know the man they were cloning, Vladimir Putin, has been a secret Nazi spy since birth. Further proof that President Trump is also a Nazi. And also Bannon.

In further news, the Huffington Post, another piece of lie-spewing garbage excellent source of robustly researched propaganda news has a great piece up right now about how Muhammad was actually a child molesting rapist feminist.

Seriously, I wish I was making all of this up. Satire is so hard right now.

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Monday Staff Meeting

IMAO Headquarters, 9:15 AM

Where is everyone?

Sorry I’m late. Where are the doughnuts?

Basil, it’s 9:15. Where have you been?


You don’t have anything to say for yourself?

Um, where’s the doughnuts?

Any why do you look like that? You have time to do silly cartoons but don’t have time to write an actual post for this blog?

Hey, what can I say. You look up “competent” or “dependable” in the dictionary, you won’t find my picture next to either one. Besides, I’ve been watching old episodes of MST3K.

So, there’s all kind of things going on in the world, Harvey’s out, and you’re focused on some TV show?

Oh! You get me!

Get out of here and get to work!

Maybe something will get posted now.

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Gettin’ ready for the new MST3K

You knew it was coming back on the 14th, right?

[The YouTube]

Yep, Mystery Science Theater 3000 is back — or will be back, really soon. Like a week and a half. Not even that long. On the 14th. So, yeah, soon.

Are you ready? I’m not. But I’m getting ready.

First, I need to subscribe to Netflix. I don’t ever watch Netflix, what with Hulu and iTunes and Amazon and TiVo and everything. I had Netflix, but never watched it, so I stopped paying for it. Plus they ticked me off about something, but I don’t remember just what. Anyway, I’ll need to subscribe to Netflix, since that’s where you can watch it.

Also, I thought about watching the old episodes again, but I watch the occasional episode every week anyway, so I’m not doing that. I actually did that before, back in 2011 & 2012. I started at the beginning, with the KTMA episodes. You can’t buy them, but you can find them if you look hard enough. Honestly, unless you have those on a bucket list, it’s like a pre-season football game. It doesn’t really satisfy, but you can see them training and growing and working the kinks out. Some of the host segment are really good, so good they were redone for the national series. If you want to read my reviews of the KTMA episodes, start here.

If you want to start with the official Season One, start here. I watched them in the original airdate order, which is slightly different than most episode lists you see. It only makes a difference in a couple of places but the first season has one of those places.

If you want to just look at the overall review of all the episodes, videos, and what-not, try this link. Use the sidebar to go to particular ones you want. Or, just watch them in order (if you own them or can find them) and see if you think about them like I do.

Anyway, what I’ve been doing that’s MST3K related is finding the original uncut, unedited, un-MSTied versions of the movies and shorts that aired and watching them. Why? I dunno. Maybe to see what the MST3K crew had to go through. Maybe just to say I did. That last one seems more likely, knowing me like I do.

But what about you? What are you doing to get ready for the relaunch of MST3K?

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