Archive for the ‘The Usual Stuff’ Category

Things That Make Me Think of Obama

Friday, October 17, 2014 10:00 pm

Thing 1:

The TomTom Golfer is a smartwatch designed to help you maximize your time on the green. It’s preloaded with the layout of 34,000 golf courses, with wireless updates on the way. It can also track the score, time and distance per round.

Thing 2:


[Tiny Husky Puppy Can't Get Out Of Tiny Bowl] (Viewer #63,533)

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How Obama is Secretly Battling Ebola

Tuesday, October 14, 2014 1:15 pm
  • To contain the outbreak, he is secretly transporting all ebola patients to Las Vegas because what happens in Vegas…..
  • Consulting with Dustin Hoffman and Morgan Freeman, but not Rene Russo
  • Decreeing America an Ebola-Free Zone
  • Lots of healing crystals and homeopathic solutions
  • Reorganizing all affected communities
  • By executive order, Obamacare now covers Airborne®
  • Blaming Bush
  • Reassuring Americans that the ebola virus is not viral, and that 99% of global viruses do not align themselves with the goals and methods of ebola
  • Judiciously updating his anti-viral software
  • Developing a vaccine from his own superior white blood cells
  • Telling the IRS that ebola is a member of the Tea Party
  • Scolding the virus for its history of afflicting a disproportionate number of black people
  • Instituting an affirmative action and bussing program for the virus granting its carriers access to more affluent white countries, states and neighborhoods
  • Adding the virus to the Endangered Species List
  • Smacking Chris Brown upside the head for spilling the beans about the population control program
  • Reminding Americans that ebola is a poor, repressed, misunderstood virus that only hates us becuase of our foreign policy
  • Sending Joe to Africa with a dust mask, some chains and lots of confiscated and expired Robitussin
  • Cowering in his bunker with a bubble and a year’s supply of vitamin C

(Full disclosure of his efforts will be revealed after the November elections)

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Should We Celebrate Columbus Day?

Tuesday, October 14, 2014 11:13 am

I’m a day late (since I took Columbus Day off), but Steven Crowder has up at his new site a column on Columbus Day. Should we not celebrate Columbus Day because Columbus slaughtered lots of people? What if those people he slaughtered also slaughtered people? Do two slaughters make a right?

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Remember Bali

Sunday, October 12, 2014 7:00 am

10-12-02

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Representative Keith Ellison Applauds California Consent Rule

Thursday, October 9, 2014 7:04 pm

At a press conference this morning, Representative Ellison was asked his opinion on the California legislation that required an ‘affirmative, conscious and voluntary agreement before engaging in sexual activity’ on California college campuses. Representative Ellison had this to say:

“I think the ‘yes means yes’ rule, or the ‘si means si’ rule as it is more commonly known by California residents and the colleges’ custodial staffs, is a wonderful idea that is bringing the state one step closer to the ideal of Sharia Law. While it is a good idea, I think we need to take it further if we want to protect women from date rape and men from false accusations of date rape. In this, the wisdom of Sharia is clear. As we all know, according to the Quran, a woman’s testimony is only worth ¼ that of a man’s. In a he said/she said situation, the woman cannot be believed. Consequently, the affirmative consent should be witnessed by either a second man or four additional women, and since it is within the right of the participants to withdraw consent at any time throughout the encounter, it would behoove the witnesses to remain present and observant throughout. While the witnesses have to be there anyway, they might as well each voice affirmative consent, witnessed in turn by all present, and join in; however, in that case it would be wise to videotape the proceedings, preferably with an Apple product connected to the Cloud to keep it secure. Since Sharia is silent regarding the number of video recorders required, I would recommend a minimum of three placed strategically to record the entire encounter thus ensuring the safety and continued consent of all involved. Afterwards, following a considered review of the witness statements, the video recordings and marital status of those involved, stoning of the women may commence as necessary.”

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Now Is Not the Time to Turn This Country Around

Thursday, October 2, 2014 11:04 am

I have a new column up at PJ Media about the 2014 elections.

Now, I want to note that I don’t mean this analogy to be disrespectful to President Obama. But I think most historians will back me when I say his presidency is the equivalent of a dumb child running into tables.

Read. Enjoy. Share.

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Most Talked About Food on Twitter – By State

Thursday, September 25, 2014 7:00 pm

[High Praise! to Neatorama]

Possibly the only state-related fun fact that I’ve never discussed, so here’s the map for you Nukers to bicker over the accuracy of:

And no, I don’t know what “durian” is either. Sound like an ingredient in synthetic motor oil.

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This Is Pretty Much Why I Blog

Monday, September 22, 2014 10:00 pm

[High Praise! to SciFiWright via Neatorama]
_______________

I write for that one reader I will never see, the one who needs just such a tale as I can pen, in just such a time and place, some rainy afternoon or dark hour, when providence will bring my book into his hands. And he will open it, and it will not be a book, but a casement, from which he will glimpse the needed vision his soul requires of a world larger than our own, or a star in a heaven wider and higher than ours, a star aflame with magic more majestic than any star mortal astronomers can name.

I humbly but strongly suggest you write for that unknown reader also, and not for worldly praise, or influence, or pelf, or applause. The world flatters popular authors, and the clamor of the multitude of brazen tongues is vanity. It is dust on the wind. The unknown reader will greet your work with love. It is a crown of adamant, solid and enduring.

You will never meet that one reader, not in this life. In heaven he will come to you and fall on his face and anoint your feet with tears of gratitude, and you will stand astonished and humbled, having never suspected.
_______________

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Neil DeGrasse Tyson: A Made-Up Poem

Monday, September 22, 2014 7:00 am

[High Praise! to Oppo]

Neil deGrasse Tyson
Wrestled a bison
And as “Mike” scored a T.K.O.
Invented ricin,
Sold a vacuum to Dyson,
Double-dated with Manti Te’o.

[reference link]

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Spanking vs. Abuse

Friday, September 19, 2014 11:00 am

In his new video, Steven Crowder looks at spanking versus actual abuse:

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I Concur

Thursday, September 18, 2014 7:00 pm

[High Praise! to Hope n' Change Cartoons]

“We’re actually glad that the president is committing 3000 troops to the fight against ebola – we’re just surprised that he was able to do it without lecturing us about the many cultural and scientific contributions ebola made to helping us land a man on the moon.”

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The Truth Behind Science

Tuesday, September 16, 2014 11:00 am

I have a new short story up at Liberty Island called “Science Fiction” about the insidious truth behind science.

It kinda seems like I’m trying to make a point in the story, but I honestly can’t tell you what it is. Anyway: Read. Share. Enjoy.

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Where Is Moderate Islam?

Monday, September 15, 2014 11:00 am

New Crowder video where he explores exactly what is moderate Islam compared to ISIS:

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Happy Harvey Day!

Sunday, September 14, 2014 6:00 am

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Happy birthday to a great American, our very own Harvey.

He’s been a great friend and influence to many of us, and we do appreciate him. We really do.

I know, you kinda expected me to make jokes about his age or something, but the truth of the matter is, he’s a great fellow. And we wish him well. Besides, it’s not nice to make fun of old people.

Leave your birthday wishes here, if you like. Be nice. Or naughty. Harvey really appreciates naughty.

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Obama Remembers

Thursday, September 11, 2014 5:13 pm

Here are the top ten things Obama is doing to remember the loss our country suffered on 9/11/01.

  • golf
  • golf
  • golf
  • golf
  • golf
  • golf
  • golf
  • golf
  • golf
  • golf
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Remember

Thursday, September 11, 2014 7:00 am

9-11-01

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ISIS Should Have the Left Fuming

Wednesday, September 10, 2014 3:52 pm

I’ve been wondering why my liberal friends aren’t outraged by what ISIS is doing in Iran and Syria. My talk about beheadings and totalitarian leanings don’t seem to sway them at all. Maybe we need to change the spin a bit to get the left upset with this group. Here are some things ISIS is doing that should get liberals outraged:

  • Paying their women 0% of the salary they pay their men
  • Using guns with magazines holding more than 10 rounds
  • Many of their beheaders aren’t officially licensed
  • The rats in their opium processing tents weren’t wearing hairnets
  • Jihadis aren’t provided with healthcare that covers abortions
  • Their soldiers aren’t unionized
  • Their bombs lack the governmentally required safeguards
  • Their camels emit copious amounts of greenhouse gases
  • Their nerve gas was tested on animals
  • Jihadi transports don’t have enough seatbelts
  • The use of lead in their bullets is not environmentally sound
  • Excessive ululating increases atmospheric carbon dioxide
  • The children they kidnap aren’t given sex education courses before being sold to pimps
  • They don’t seem to realize that Obama has changed the world already
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Crowder Returns

Tuesday, September 9, 2014 11:00 am

Crowder returns later this week.

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Bottom Line on Marriage

Sunday, September 7, 2014 8:00 am

[High Praise! to Thoughtful Woman]

Here’s what marriage is: the God-ordained, lifelong, covenantal union between man and wife, designed to provide men, women, and children optimal stability and overall well-being. Marriage is that biologically, spiritually, and morally centered institution calculated to ensure responsible procreation and perpetuate the human race. Marriage, real marriage, represents the fundamental cornerstone of any healthy society (any society that hopes to survive, at least).

Here’s what marriage is not: Anything else.

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Manly Hypothesizing

Saturday, September 6, 2014 8:00 pm

______________

I’m getting a transmission fluid leak repaired this weekend, and it made me think of a question:

If all your transmission fluid leaked out, and you were stuck in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone, but you had a case of motor oil in the trunk, could you pour motor oil into the transmission and drive the car?
_______________

My nephew (who is an actual auto mechanic) had this to say:

Hypothetically, I think it would work, but I don’t know for how long. Transmission fluid has significantly lower viscosity than motor oil. I imagine this would result in slow operation of the transmission… shift points that are non-ideal, shifts taking longer than normal, components taking longer than normal to disengage, etc…

If it were a legit emergency I think I would give it a try, but at the same time I would expect to take a significant amount of life off the transmission.

Anyway, feel free to add your thoughts on the topic of emergency auto maintenance.

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