Archive for the ‘The Usual Stuff’ Category
Saw this on the Facebook. And, I know the lady in the picture. And her daughter.
Lisa had just completed a 5K, and posted this pic of herself after the run.
But did you notice it? A friend of her daughter did, and sent this text:
Guys. What can I say. We’re guys.
I don’t understand why you ladies put up with us like you do, but I’m glad you do. Thanks, ladies. Thanks.
Gore: You need to make a law, dude. I’m tired of getting all those free samples of crap in the mail. No more free samples, dude. Ban them. They are pox on us, dude. A pox on us all.
Joe: What, dude? What? What do you have against free samples, dude? You are a Democrat still, right? Aren’t you all about free stuff? And don’t even start telling me you don’t love those little boxes of free cereal that come in the Sunday paper, dude. Don’t even tell me that.
Gore: Well, not those, dude. Of course not those. Those are awesome. But everything else. All that stuff you don’t eat. Like last week, dude. Last week I got a sample box of Always Maxi-pads in the mail. And I can’t, like, just throw them away.
Joe: Totally. You’re, like, totally green, dude. Can’t be just wasting stuff like that, man. Gotta use it before you can recycle it, dude.
Gore: Totally. So, I’m like, obligated to use them and stuff. Can’t throw them out. What am I gonna do with these? Huh? What? I mean, I’ve seen the commercials, but I don’t even really know what these are for, dude.
Joe: You too? Those commercials, are, like totally vague, dude. I don’t even know what they are talking about. Like, I’m not the target market. I’m not in the know. But I want to be in the know, dude. Want to be in the know.
Gore: Totally. But I can’t just give them away, and I sure ain’t givin’ them to that old witch, Tipper. So, I have this big global warming presentation I have to give, and I’m like, totally nervous cause like people have been asking like really hard questions and stuff lately. Not like it was 15 years ago. Wondering why the global ain’t hottening up anymore.
Joe: Why is the world not hottening, Mr. Gore? Why no hottening?
Gore: Totally like that. Just like that. So I think, I’ll try out the Always. Can’t hurt, right, dude? Can’t hurt. How could it hurt? Oh, it hurt. That commercial, dude, is a total liar. I didn’t feel confident at all. Didn’t feel secure. Not secure at all. What I felt was paranoid. What if something happened and someone found out I was wearing this thing, dude? Way worse than wearing dirty underwear. Way worse, dude. And that adhesive strip was brutal. Tearing that thing off of me was like getting a Brazilian wax, dude. Can’t hurt, dude? Can’t hurt? It totally hurt. That was an unhappy ending, dude. A total unhappy ending. I can totally see why women are acting all crazy and stuff when they are wearing these things.
Kerry: Did I hear someone say happy ending?
Joe: Totally unhappy, dude. Are you still like all swollen and stuff? Can I see?
Gore: No, you can’t see, dude. No you can’t see. (to Kerry) And no happy endings from you. Not until I heal and you finish the gender reassignment.
Joe: Why don’t you go and do some dictation or something?
Gore: But I still got all these pads and nothing to use them for. They looked kind of like insoles, but they didn’t fit well in my shoes, but they did seem to be rather absorbent. So I kept them around for spill cleanup. Good thing, too, cause I knocked over my whole carafe of wheat grass smoothie.
Joe: That green, chunky, nasty stuff you’re always drinking? That stuff is totally nasty, dude.
Gore: Totally, but the promiscuous, vegan hippy chicks totally dig it, dude. It’s like hippy Viagra mixed with Spanish Fly ladled over oysters. But anyway, I totally spilled it all, and the Always worked. It cleaned it up. Totally cleaned up. But now I’m afraid to throw them away. The guy who sorts through the recycle bin is gonna see those and think I have some horrifying, oozing disease now.
Barack: What’s up, dudes?
To be continued, maybe, if I feel like it.
I assume other people have done something similar before, but here is a song I put together that is currently Buttercup’s most requested at bed time:
Have you any wool?
H I J K
What you are
One for my master
T U V
Like a diamond
Who lives down the lane
Now I know my
Yes sir, yes sir
Sing with me
Season Ten of Doctor Who, the classic series before the recent resurrection of the series, featured something that must have been a delight to fans of the show: William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, and Jon Pertwee all appearing together.
Well, “together” isn’t exactly right. Let me explain.
Season Ten, consisting of 26 episodes comprising five serials, began with an attack on time itself. And, the plot line called for the Time Lords not being able to spare resources to help The Doctor. So, they sent The Doctor. And when The Doctor and The Doctor didn’t get along, they called on The Doctor to help.
I don’t think I explained that very well. Except that’s exactly what happened. Through some Time Lord mumbo jumbo, they managed to pull the Second Doctor (Patrick Troughton) into the time stream of the Third Doctor (Jon Pertwee), so they could combine forces and battle Omega, who’s a Time Lord gone mad. Or rogue. There seems to be a lot of them.
Anyway, The Doctor (3.0) and The Doctor (2.0) don’t get along, so they bring The Doctor (1.0) to keep them in line. After all, he was the mature one. He wasn’t impressed with his third or second incarnations, calling them “a dandy and a clown.” Due to William Hartnell’s health, he was only able to appear in studio, communicating via video screen with the other Doctors. Regardless, it was great to see William Hartnell in action again.
Hartnell’s appearances in the serial were his last role of any kind, not just in Doctor Who. The episodes were filmed in late 1972, and aired beginning just before New Year’s, and ran into late January 1973. Hartnell’s health continued to decline, and he was hospitalized in December 1974, and died in April of 1975.
At the end of The Three Doctors (4 episodes), the Time Lords removed the sentence of exile from The Doctor, allowing him to use the TARDIS as before. He made some trips with Jo, but returned to Earth, no longer unable to control the TARDIS. He did experience some issues with landing where he expected, but it wasn’t the completely lost in time and space situation from the first six seasons.
The Master returned in Frontier in Space (6 episodes). It was Roger Delgado’s last appearance on Doctor Who. He died around three months after the episode aired while filming a movie in Turkey. Pertwee and Delgado were close friends, and Delgado’s death was one of the reasons that contributed to Pertwee’s decision to leave the role of The Doctor after the next season.
The Daleks returned at the end of that serial, and followed as the primary antagonist in the next serial, Planet of the Daleks (6 episodes). That serial was could be considered a sequel to Season One’s The Daleks, the second Doctor Who serial, and the one that introduced those characters. In Planet of the Daleks, The Doctor encounters Thals, who are still battling the Daleks after all these years.
The season ended with the departure of companion Jo Grant (Katy Manning) after she married a hippie environmentalist professor. The serial, The Green Death (6 episodes) was a typical 1970s environmentalist piece. It was typical leftist promotion, with a giant chemical company actively working to poison the planet. The episode also featured a scene of The Doctor in drag. Those wacky Brits.
I’ve enjoyed Jon Pertwee’s time as The Doctor, especially since he’s able to cross time and space again. He had one more season in the role before turning it over to Tom Baker. I’m looking forward to seeing Pertwee’s last season. Not to say farewell to him, but to see him as The Doctor some more. As long as he’s in space and not doing more left-wing hippie stuff.
Taco Bell for breakfast?
I’ve eaten some things for breakfast that aren’t generally considered breakfast. Well, not to me.
I’m not counting non-traditional stuff that was because my schedule was all screwed up from working late.
Pizza, of course. Cake. Peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly mixed in a bowl because I was out of bread. Chicken cacciatore — that was an Army thing, and it was all out unit had for like three weeks in Kuwait, and I have not eaten it since.
But now, I’m going to add Taco Bell to my list of out of the ordinary breakfasts. Only, it won’t be. No really. Out of the ordinary, I mean.
Taco Bell is offering breakfast starting 27 March, according to their Website. And it looks pretty good.
First thing I’m going to try is the Waffle Taco. That’s a Waffle. With Sausage. And Eggs and Cheese. Folded like a Taco. The only thing missing is Bacon.
Can they pull it off? I don’t know. I’ve had breakfast at some places that just don’t know how to make breakfast. Mostly in Kuwait or in Canada — Niagara Falls, if you must have an explanation as to what I was doing in Canada — but I’m thinking I’ve had breakfast in the U.S. that I didn’t like. Somewhere.
I hope Taco Bell lives up to the promise.
If they don’t, I hope they get deported back to where they came from: Downey, California.
“It’s just plain wrong that millions of middle-class Americans pay a higher share of their income in taxes than some millionaires and billionaires.”
BARACK OBAMA, response to U. S. Senate’s rejection of the Buffet Rule, Apr. 17, 2012
“…without having contributed a dime to my campaign.”
Season Nine of the classic Doctor Who series — I’m watching them all from the 1963 beginning — featured the return of the Daleks. And, as always, they want to exterminate, exterminate, EXTERMINATE! The season consisted of five serials, made up of 26 episodes.
It was a welcome break when the first serial, Day of the Daleks (4 episodes) didn’t feature The Master. He had appeared in all serials of the previous season. The serial was also the first time the Daleks appeared in color in the show. There were a couple of color films starring Peter Cushing, but those aren’t considered canon. They don’t count.
The serial also introduced the Ogrons, who look and dress like there were based on the Klingons from the Star Trek movies. Another instance of The Doctor going into the future to steal ideas from other shows, I suppose.
The version I watched is the Special Edition, which means they added some CGI effects. I understand there is also a difference in a scene where The Doctor battles an Ogron.
The Ice Warriors made an appearance in The Curse of Peladon (4 episodes), although they aren’t villains in this episode. It also featured Patrick Troughton’s son, David, as one of the major characters in the serial. It was an off-Earth serial, with a reference that the Time Lords directed the TARDIS there so The Doctor could solve a problem. They got the idea for temporarily paroling the hero to solve a problem by going forward in time and stealing the plot point from 48 HRS.
The Mutants (6 episodes) was another off-Earth serial, as was The Time Monster (6 episodes), at least partially. With three of the five serials occurring completely, or with a good deal of the action, off Earth, it’s almost as it was before the exile.
The Master did show up in the third serial, The Sea Devils (6 episodes), and the fifth serial, The Time Monster. The Sea Devils, which featured an aquatic race related to the Silurians, was the episode where The Doctor first uttered the phrase “reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.” The Third Doctor used a shortened version, “reverse the polarity,” in other serials, including The Time Monster. That serial is the third one dealing with Atlantis, by the way. We now have three different versions of the destruction of that civilization. I’m sure they’re all true.
One other thing about The Time Monster: it featured The Doctor and Jo traveling in both Bessie and the TARDIS. Not at the same time, of course. The TARDIS did get a slight makeover inside. The original setup was nine years old by this time, and was falling apart. So, not only is it bigger on the inside, it’s newer, too.
And, we’ll be taking a trip to the tenth season next.
At a time when our discourse has become so sharply polarized – at a time when we are far too eager to lay the blame for all that ails the world at the feet of those who think differently than we do – it’s important for us to pause for a moment and make sure that we are talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds.
BARACK OBAMA, speech at memorial for Arizona shooting victims, Jan. 12, 2011
“Then you can strike after you’ve lured your enemy into a false sense of security! MUAHAHAHAHA!”
Binge watching, if you don’t know, is watching a whole bunch of shows at once. And it’s not really a new phenomenon.
Back in the days when you recorded stuff on your VCR — Does anyone still do that? Other than Harvey, perhaps? — you could keep all the episodes together and watch them. I had a wife that did that for her stories. (That’s soap opera, for you kids.) She’d set up the VCR to record her favorite show, then watch them all. She would sometimes watch one or two, then have to fast forward back to where the tape was so that she wouldn’t record over the next episode or two before she watched it. So, binge watching was NOT the best way with VHS tapes.
TiVo solved the whole issue of only watching one or two and having to make sure you didn’t record over an episode you hadn’t watched. Then, you didn’t have to binge watch. But, it also made it easier to record a bunch of other shows. But you didn’t have time to watch them until the weekend, so that actually made for more binge watching.
Shows would come out on VHS and later on DVD, and you could buy whole seasons of shows and sit and watch them. Still can. Well, DVDs anyway.
Then came streaming. You could get Netflix and that catalog of online content. You can also get Hulu/Hulu Plus, Amazon Prime/Instant Video, Crackle, or any of hundreds of other online services and Websites.
So, binge watching isn’t new. But it’s apparently news.
In the last 24 hours, there have been a series of news stories talking about how bad binge watching is. Except for the stories that talk about how good binge watching is.
At The Daily Beast, Roland Martin has his panties in a wad over binge watching. Apparently, that’s important to him.
Then, there’s a story by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang in The Independent that says binge watching is good for you.
So, who are you going to believe?
I binge watch. I’ll watch several episodes at once, whether from a streaming service, or something recorded from the TiVo. And, I’ll watch other shows as soon as they come out. It really depends on the show.
For instance, I watched every episode of Breaking Bad as soon as I could. I do the same thing with Justified. I don’t wait to watch the next episode.
Of course, after the Breaking Bad finale, I binge watched the whole series from start to finish. It gave it a little different perspective, and I enjoyed it just as much. I tried that with The Shield one time, and had to stop and go take a bath, just to get the grittiness of the show off me. I never finished binge watching The Shield, though I did watch each episode. Just one at a time.
How about you? Is this a big enough deal for you to even care about? And which way do you go?
Do you binge watch? If so, what? If not, do you think that binge watchers a bunch of sad, lonely, pathetic excuses for human beings? Or are they simply fans enjoying their pastimes in the best way possible?
In order to help offset the cost of Obamacare, President Obama has wielded his mighty pen and decreed an executive order to bring solvency to the program. The administration will raise sufficient funds through the sale of a commemorative President’s Day 2014 wall plaque designed by the President himself. This plaque, along with the soothing knowledge that your donation has helped offset unnecessary bureaucratic costs for this fiscal year, can be yours for the low, low price of $15,000. The Constitution prohibits the government from forcing you to buy the plaque, but if you chose not to partake in this generous offer, you will be fined $20,000 or 15% of your unadjusted gross income, whichever is greater.
The plaque contains quotations hand selected by President Obama himself, chosen because of the deep impact they and those who said them had upon him and his life. They have helped mold him into the President he is today.
These handsome, hand crafted, gold-inlaid President’s Day plaques, made from recycled materials using union labor and 100% carbon-free energy, cost more to make then we are charging for them, and they will only go up in value. It is a plaque that you will want to prominently display as a constant reminder to you and your family of the principles that make our current President so great. Here is a selection of the wisdom it contains.
- Do or do not. There is no try. – John the Beloved
- Say hello to my little friend. – Andre the Giant
- Personally, Veda’s convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young. – James Lee, the eco-terrorist
- Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the War Room! – Jimmy Carter
- Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. – Hannah Montana
- Son, you got a panty on your head. – Barack Obama, Sr.
- But I’m funny how? I mean, funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? – Bozo the Clown
- Show me the money. – Tim Geithner
- Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you? – Mr. Robinson
- Take your stinkin’ paws off me, you damn dirty ape. – Jane Goodall
- Hitler was better-looking than Churchill, he was a better dresser than Churchill, he had more hair, he told funnier jokes, and he could dance the pants off of Churchill! – Franklin Delano Roosevelt
- No, I’m all man. I even fought in WWII. Of course, I was wearing women’s undergarments under my uniform. – John F. Kennedy, Jr.
- Excuse me while I whip this out. – Bill Clinton
- And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. – Warren Commission Report, question posed to Lee Harvey Oswald
- Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son. – Teddy Kennedy
- Joey, do you like movies about gladiators? – Barney Frank
- Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. – Thomas Jefferson
- May the Force be with you. – Joseph Stalin
- I’m the king of the world! – Barack Obama, Jr.
- To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. – Ronald Reagan
Log on to healthcare.gov now and get your commemorative plaque before it’s too late. It’s the law. Navigators are standing by.
Legal Disclaimer: Because you are purchasing your plaque through healthcare.gov, you may need to purchase three or more before the system will successfully credit you for your purchase, your credit card may be charged multiple times for each purchase with no recourse to correct the error, and your personal information may be stolen by the ex-con who is working as your Navigator or by junior high school geeks who are trying their hand at hacking for the first time. Donors to Obama or the DNC as well as individuals associated with any liberal special interests groups are exempt from this special, limited offer.
You know what today is, right?
If you said “Presidents Day,” you need to be beat with a stick. Several sticks. With knots in them so they hurt really bad.
Today is Washington’s Birthday.
Now, I know, George Washington’s birthday is actually February 22nd. That’s not until Saturday. But, there is a federal holiday called Washington’s Birthday, and it’s to honor George Washington. And the name of that holiday is … Washington’s Birthday.
So, why does everybody call it Presidents Day? Well, not everybody does. Witness me. And, I hope, you. But there are a lot of folks running around loose that call it Presidents Day. You know what we call dumbasses like that? Dumbasses.
This day is set aside to honor the first President of the United States, George Washington. He was instrumental in the founding of this nation, and if anyone deserves a holiday, it’s him.
Washington’s Birthday was the fifth national holiday established, after New Year’s Day, Independence Day, Thanksgiving Day, and Christmas Day. It was one of the holidays picked for a Monday observance in 1971 when they started screwing around with federal holidays, and making some fall on a Monday. Along with Washington’s Birthday, the holidays Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Columbus Day were also moved to Mondays. The first four holidays and Veterans Day kept their regular days.
If you want one of “those people” that are always correcting others for things … you know, like I’m doing right now … and you want a link to throw at people, use this link to United States Code 5 U.S.C. 6103.
Why am I like this about Washington’s Birthday? That’s the wrong question. The right question is: why aren’t you?
The eighth season of Doctor Who featured the return of the Autons, first seen in Season Seven’s Spearhead from Space. It also introduced Jo Grant (Katy Manning) as The Doctor’s new assistant, replacing Liz Shaw (Caroline John) who was mentioned as having left for Cambridge. Also introduced, or maybe re-introduced, was The Master (Roger Delgado), a renegade Time Lord.
I’m kinda thinking The Master might be the same Time Lord as The War Chief from Season Six’s The War Games, but some research says it’s a different Time Lord. If that’s the case, that’s now three renegade Time Lords: The Doctor, The War Chief, and The Master. Oh, wait. I forgot about the Monk from Seasons Two and Three. That’s four renegade Time Lords. Somebody needs to get a handle on the Time Lords.
During each of the five serials (25 episodes), The Doctor battled The Master. The Doctor did finally leave present-day Earth in Colony in Space (6 episodes) when the Time Lords sent the TARDIS, with The Doctor and Jo on board, to some far off planet 500 years in the future. It seems The Master stole the plans to some doomsday weapon, so the exile is temporarily lifted, and The Doctor and Jo wind up on some planet being colonized by Earthmen in 2472. That was the only off-Earth serial in the season. It’s also the most left-leaning episode, since it was written by communist Malcolm Hulke.
Season Five is the first season to have all episodes available on Hulu. Of the first seven seasons, only Season Four and Season Five have no episodes available on Hulu. While Amazon Instant Video (and Amazon Prime) has one serial each from Seasons One, Five, Six, and Seven, there are none from Eight.
While the season was okay, there was nothing particularly outstanding abut the season. Yes, the introduction of The Master brought a major villain to the show, but if he’s not another incarnation of The War Chief, then he’s simply another version of a renegade Time Lord.
The serial The Dæmons (5 episodes) featured a community covered by an invisible impenetrable dome. I think they must have stolen the idea from Stephen King. Yes, I know Stephen King published Under the Dome in 2009, but he it’s a rewrite of an unfinished story from 1972. It’s obvious The Doctor took the TARDIS forward in time from 1971 (when this episode first aired) and stole the idea from King. He should sue.
That serial also featured a community dance. A lot of townsfolk were dancing in the street, then grabbed The Doctor and tied him to a Maypole. It seemed like something straight out of The Prisoner.
The season-long arc of battling The Master certainly made for a different style of show, and I do miss the leaping about the galaxy and across the barriers of time.
But, once The Doctor gets the TARDIS back fully functional and returns to galavanting across the universe, that’ll be the end of Bessie. Though at first I wasn’t a fan, I’ve come to like the little yellow car. I think I want one.
Leave your concealed carry weapon locked in your vehicle for a couple of hours while you attend to business inside a county jail in 8° weather. When you re-holster your weapon in your Inside the Waist Band concealed carry holster, you quickly learn the Beatles were right when they said “Happiness is a warm gun.”
Reporter: With all the criticism your administration has been receiving regarding what amounts to an NSA data mining operation targeting citizens, are you planning on changing the NSA surveillance policies?
Obama: Let me be perfectly clear. It is important that we maintain this level of surveillance in order to protect ourselves from threats. I can assure you that you can trust us with this sensitive information.
Reporter: What would you say to those who claim it seems a bit too much like Big Brother is watching? And can you be specific about what threats?
Obama (watching telescreens showing the communal prole women’s showers and speaking into intercom): Threats from Eurasia and Eastasia, of course. Now don’t bother me again. I’m busy surveilling (returns to watching the prole women’s showers).
Biden (entering): Hey, Big Brother.
Obama (Big Brother): Hey Little Brother. You know, after putting Michelle in charge of the Ministry of Plenty, spying on the citizenry is much more pleasant. Those forced starvation rations based on her school lunch guidelines are working wonders. No more fatties. But, hey, what’s up?
Biden: Can’t you notice? I just got back from the Ministry of Death for my annual preventative medical exam. Can you see what has changed? (posing jauntily)
Obama: How could I miss it?
Biden: Don’t you love it? After being on the waiting list for almost 8 months, I finally got my whisker plugs. Now I have a mustache as full and luxurious as yours.
Obama: Have you seen it yet? You may want to check a mirror.
Biden: What the……?
Obama: No stache at all. But those are some mighty fine handlebar eyebrows you are sporting now, though. (starts stroking Joe’s eyebrows) Feels kind of coarse and crinkly. And is that Speedstick? I think they may have gotten the transplant from your pits. You might not want that particular hair right under your sniffer, anyway.
Biden: I thought it felt wrong somehow. Ooooooo. I feel a two minute hate coming on.
Hillary (enters): Trivia question. You know the origins of that two minute hate, don’t you?
Biden: Uh, no.
Hillary: We had to go with the lowest common denominator. It takes you that long to count to ten and cool off.
Biden (sarcastically): Ha, ha, ha. And that is a two minute hate on you too. A two minute hate on both of you.
Pelosi: And you look hideous. Let me guess. Dr. Nick screwed up a procedure again.
Obama: Yeah, the Ministry of Death has had its fair share of mix ups after we put Dr. Nick Riviera in charge. His late night advertisements looked so promising, too. I thought he would bring his brand of high quality care and bargain basement prices to government healthcare. I guess you get what you don’t pay for.
Biden: He’s still running things better than Sibelius.
Biden: I’m still pretty cheesed about this mustache mix up. I do look hideous. The Ministry of Praise is gonna hear about this.
Obama: No, no, no. Stay away from the Ministry of Praise. They’ll just send you to the Ministry of Love’s GITMO facility and you’ll never get your mustache that way. A lot of Room 101s down there. But not to worry. You’re not a prole. In a couple of months you can get that mix up fixed up. It’s just business as usual. We can’t expect perfection in the system, even when you know as much as I do. Remember a couple of years ago when Michelle ‘encouraged’ people to lose weight by ‘voluntarily’ following her ration plan? Well, about that time the Ministry of Death reported a sharp decline in liposuction procedures. Makes sense, right. But then what happened? At about that same time, the Ministry of Plenty began complaining about shortages in cooking fat. Who knew liposuction and cooking fat supplies were related? Who would have guessed it? Who knew that was where prole cooking fat came from? Central planning is hard. But what brings you here, Hillary? We already had the Ministry of Truth write things up making you the hero of Benghazi. What more do you want?
Hillary: Oh, I caught Bill with another intern, so I placed an anonymous tip accusing him of thoughtcrimes. He’s in room 101 now. I was hoping you could pull it up on the telescreen so I could watch.
Obama: Oh, of course. Of course. Wouldn’t miss it. Here we go.
Telescreen changes to show Bill strapped to a chair nude in room 101.
Interrogator: What does 2 + 2 = 4?
Joe (yelling at telescreen): I know. I know. 5! 5! 5!
Obama: Good job, Little Brother.
Bill: 4. It equals 4.
Interrogator: I guess it will come to this after all. Bring in the boxers.
Assistants cart in a pair of wire, mesh boxers with a cage at the front full of hungry rats.
Interrogator: You asked me before, Bill, what was in room 101. You already knew. Everyone does. Room 101 contains the worst thing in the world. It goes beyond fear or pain or death. It is unendurable. And it varies from individual to individual. It may be being buried alive. Or castration or a great many other things. In your case, it is castration by rats.
Hillary: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Bill: No. Please. What is it you want me to do?
Interrogator: You know what is required of you.
Bill: How can I do it if I don’t know what it is?
Interrogator: In the proletarian areas, they will attack a baby and within five minutes strip it to the bone. They attack the sick and dying. They show astonishing intelligence in knowing when a human being is helpless.
Interrogator: The boxers fit over your crotch, leaving no exit. I press the first lever, and the rats move into the front compartment. I press the second and the door to the cage will slide up. The starving brutes will shoot at you like bullets. Have you ever seen a rat leap through the air? They will leap onto your crotch and eat right into it. I will leave the details to your imagination.
Bill: Please tell me. What do you want?
Interrogator (pulls first lever)
Bill: Do it to her.
Interrogator: To the intern?
Bill: No, no, no. Not the intern. She’s hot. No. Do it to Hillary. No one likes her. No one will miss her. Do it to her. Then we will all be happy. That is what you must want.
Hillary: Oh, you bastard! Let me at him!
Bill: Please. Please. Do it to her. Do it to her. Do it to Hillary. That is what we all want. Please. Please.
Reporter: Please, Mr. President. One follow up question.
Obama: I will field no further questions at this time. Good afternoon.
The seventh season of Doctor Who (the original run, not the 2005 series) was in color. That’s about the only extra expense they put into the show. The special effects are pretty much on par with the first six seasons. That is to say, it’s 1960s British television. Only, it’s not. It’s 1970s British television, since Season Seven premiered in 1970.
There were only four serials in the season, totaling 25 episodes, the fewest number of any season so far. This would be normal, though, for the next decade and a half.
The first serial, Spearhead from Space (4 episodes), was produced in a different manner than the other episodes. It was filmed, rather than videotaped. With the move to color, the video camera operators went on strike demanding more money to operate the color cameras. So, the BBC filmed the episode, since film camera operators were in a different union. The next episode was videotaped after the labor issues were settled.
Spearhead from Space saw the return of Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart (Nicholas Courtney) and the introduction of Liz Shaw (Caroline John), both of whom are full cast members. Not a particularly good or bad serial, it did feature Jon Pertwee (The Doctor in his third incarnation) battling a multi-tentacled creature, much as Bela Lugosi fighting the octopus at the end of Bride of the Monster.
The Doctor gained a car in the second serial, Doctor Who and the Silurians (7 episodes). It’s a yellow Siva Edwardian kit car, and he nicknamed it “Bessie.” I suppose this replaces the TARDIS.
In the last serial of the season, Inferno (7 episodes), The Doctor accidentally gets sent to a parallel universe where everyone’s evil. Like the Mirror, Mirror episode of Star Trek except that the bad guys had less facial hair.
Pertwee is more forceful as The Doctor. He reminds me somewhat of William Hartnell in this regard, as well in his better manner of dressing. While Hartnell was proper in his dress, appearing in the style of an Edwardian gentleman, Patrick Troughton was more Charlie Chaplin in his dress. The First Doctor never displayed fear, though the Second Doctor seemed to cower a lot. Pertwee’s portrayal is somewhere between Hartnell’s and Troughton’s.
There are reports that the showrunners had actually planned to replace Doctor Who with a series similar to the Quatermass shows that ran on the BBC in the 1950s. When the creator of the Quatermass character, Nigel Kneale, decided to not participate, they kept the Doctor Who series going, but spent more focus on Quatermass-style of episodes. Kneale did not like Doctor Who.
Being bound to earth is certainly a change, although Season Five did have five consecutive episodes occur on the planet, as was mentioned by Jamie and Victoria. The premise of the show being earth-bound due to The Doctor’s exile by the Time Lords won’t last, based on my past watchings of Tom Baker (Fourth Doctor) episodes. I’m ready for him to get back into space and time.
When I first saw the show, I was bothered by the idea of a Police Call Box being the outward appearance of the TARDIS. And, until I watched An Unearthly Child, the first Doctor Who serial, I didn’t understand that it had changed its appearance to blend in with its surroundings, and the circuit broke, leaving it stuck as a Police Call Box. And now that Season Seven has mothballed the TARDIS, I miss it.
Season Eight is next, and since I won’t be taking the TARDIS there, it’s up to Bessie.
A while back, my daughter decided to crochet. That was around the time she was pregnant. So, close to two years ago, or thereabouts. She’s done a little bit with it, but has found out that raising a child can be pretty time-consuming. I mean, who knew?
Now that my youngest grandson is getting into everything, learning to talk, hiding the TV remote, and all the other things year-and-a-half old boys get into, she needs something to help her relax. Add to that, a husband attending business school, she has her hands full. Oh, and starting her own business. Yeah, that takes time, too. But, maybe, just maybe, she’ll be able to find something to help her relax. Something productive.
I don’t know if she’ll have time. And, it’s okay if she doesn’t. But, if she does decide to pick up the hooks and create a crochet masterpiece, I want one of these (Harvey led me to them):
Yes, that’s a cross between the Doctor Who villains, the Daleks, and My Little Pony.
With everything my daughter has going on, she won’t get to this any time soon. Or, maybe, ever. But perhaps you’ve been wanting a project.
(The gang are in the Oval Office working on the State of the Union Address and trying to get Hillary to try the tobacco juice to see if it is safe)
Biden: But, seriously, Hill. I’m, like, totally sorry for all those sexy comments. Seriously.
Hillary: Sexist comments.
Biden: Yeah, that’s what I meant. Sexist comments. Let me make it up to you. Have some juice. This is some special, high quality stuff. Michelle says this is, like, the same juice the US Olympic team is drinking every morning in Sochi.
Bill: Dude! You in to product placement now, too? How much they paying you to say that?
Biden: Dude, what are you talking about? What are you even talking about?
Bill: Product placement, dude. Advertising. That is where the money is. You’re a celebrity now. You need to jump on the endorsement wagon train, dude. Is that what smells like blueberry cigars?
Biden: What? No. Of course not, dude. Who would make blueberry cigar juice? Who would do that? That would be crazy! Who would do that? But what’s with you and the blueberry cigars, dude? When did that become a thing?
Bill: Monica was into some weird stuff, dude. Freaky stuff. Her ‘tell-all’ didn’t tell nearly all of what she did with that cigar, dude. Not nearly all. Didn’t tell any of her quirky stuff. You ever see 9 ½ weeks? You ever see that? You see that, dude?
Hillary: 9 ½ weeks? Ha! With you? Try 9 ½ seconds.
Bill: Shut up! No one asked you, witch. Why are you even still here? But anyway, she had this blow up Willie Wonka blueberry suit and this freaky orange midget and those cigars. I can’t tell you what she did with the midget and the cigars. Literally, I can’t. It was so bad I roofied myself afterwards, so I know it was some bad, freaky stuff, dude. I only roofie myself when it’s so bad I can’t bear to remember it, dude. I still wake up at night with that freaky oopma loompa song clanging around in my head, and I’m totally shriveled and shaky. But the most important thing is choosing the right roofie dude, which is why I always use Shame-Away brand forget-me-nows. That’s Shame-Away from Glaxo-Smithcline. Ask for it by name. See, dude. Product placement. I get $150 every time I say that. You just have to sign this witness form to vouch for me. Just sign there and there, and your social there, good, and your mother’s maiden name, and your Visa account number and PIN. Perfect. And bam, I just made $150. It’s just that easy. I can hook you up if you want, but back to Monica, dude. The worst thing I can remember. The worst thing, dude. The worst was Thanksgiving. There was this thing she did with cranberries, a turkey leg, a wishbone and an Apache squaw that was too freaky even for me. It was like 9 ½ Weeks 2: The Biggest Loser. You will never want to have anything to do with food or reproduction ever again, dude. Never again. I still can’t eat Thanksgiving dinner, dude. Not eating it.
Barack: Dude, why are you even here? Can’t you see we’re busy? We’re working here. We’re working and you are totally distracting us. You’re a total distraction.
Bill: Where three or four of you losers are gathered together, I just know there is something mockable going on. There is something going on that I need to mock. Besides, I’m taking a break. I just finished going around the neighborhood and informing everyone that I was a registered sex offender.
Barack: Dude, why? Why, dude? You don’t have to do that. I totally pardoned you for all that stuff. Totally pardoned.
Bill: I know, dude. I know. But it’s great, dude. It’s the best way I’ve ever found to keep those blasted kids off my lawn. It works, dude. It totally works, and I get to see where all the cute chicks in the neighborhood live. Got three dates, dude.
Hillary: You know I am standing right here, don’t you. You can see me right here? I can hear you, dude.
Biden: Just ignore him. Here, try the juice. What do you think?
Hillary (sips the juice): OMG! That is vile! That is so vile! Get that away from me!
Kerry: Dudes, dudes, dudes, we are losing track of why we are here. We need to choose the winning state dude. That’s step one, really. Can’t get far until we choose the state of the union, dudes. I’m voting for Texas, dudes.
Barack: Texas! Are you insane, dude? Are you insane? Not Texas. Never Texas.
Kerry: Texas! Of course Texas. Texas is badass. We need that on our side, dude. We need that popularity boost. That’s the state we need at our back, dude.
Barack: I don’t know what state wins, but it sure isn’t Texas, dude. Anyone but Texas, dude.
Kerry: You’re just saying that cause you couldn’t survive there. Couldn’t survive. You aren’t tough enough. Don’t have my training. You ever been there? You ever been there, dude?
Barack: Of course I’ve never been there. That is why I have the body doubles, dude. I’m not going down there. Three of them never made it back out. They just disappeared, dude. Gone. They’re just gone. Then Bush shows up to visit showing off his new black leather coat and boots. Threat perceived, dude. Threat perceived.
Kerry: Totally. That’s what I’m talking about. They still like execute people and stuff down there. Totally executing every day, right out in public, too. Right in the playground so the kids can watch. Executions aren’t cruel and unusual down there. They are cruel and usual. Totally usual, dude. True story. I was down there during execution season. And do you know how the governor chooses who to pardon, dude? You seen his program? You seen what he does? They haul out about a dozen of those electric chairs, put them in a circle and start playing the music. Musical electric chairs, dude. Musical electric chairs. And that was just for moving violations. Just for traffic tickets, dude. Don’t let them catch you speeding in Texas. Don’t mess with Texas, dude. They’ll mess you back. Mess you back good.
Barack: No, no, no, no. Texas is not going to be state of the union this year. Not gonna happen, dude.
Hillary: Hand that juice back over here, Joe. It is so vile, but I have a strange craving for it. I can’t stop drinking it. Give it here! Give it to me! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
Biden: That’s cause your body is craving all those vitamins and minerals, dude. That’s normal, dude. Totally normal.
Kerry: Well, then what state am I secretary of again? Can we choose that state? I want the perks, dude.
Hillary (licking every drop of the juice from the glass): More, Joe! Give me more! I want more! More now! More! More! More!
Bill: So, what are you all working on here?
Barack: That state of the union address thingie, dude. Got to make it decent this year.
Bill: You’re too late for that, dude. That was like, last week or something.
Barack: No way, dude. Seriously? Seriously dude? I don’t remember it at all.
Bill: It was excruciating, dude. Totally excruciating. That’s why we all took a bunch of Shame-Away brand forget-me-nows. Minds are totally wiped clean, dudes. Totally clean. That’s why I always use Shame-Away brand forget-me-nows. That’s Shame-Away from Glaxo-Smithcline. Ask for it by name. I only remember on account of I saw it mentioned in the paper the next day. Gave me an awful flashback. By the way, can you sign this witness form for me? Thanks.
Kerry: So what state won?
Hillary (retching violently): I think I’m gonna die, dudes. More juice. I think I need more juice! Joe, is that you? If it is, then bring me some more blasted juice! NOW! NOW, JOE! NOW! NOW! NOW!
Biden: That’s totally normal, dude. You’re body is just purging the toxins. You’re purging the toxins, dude.
Bill: What’s up with her? Did she catch a glimpse of herself naked or something?
Barack: See, I told you you couldn’t juice tobacco, dude. Listen to me next time. I know everything, dude. Don’t forget that, dude.
Biden: Guess I better go outside and get my fix the old fashioned way. I guess trying to escape smoking is like trying to find another cigarette with the bold, smooth taste and smokeability of Phillip Morris. Pointless. It’s a sure sign of a good time, dudes. So how do I get people to pay me for saying stuff like that?
Barack: You think we should call an ambulance?
Bill: No worries. I think she got most of it out. Hey, Hill. Make sure you clean up after yourself when you are done. You totally reek.
Hillary (moaning): You guys really suck. I hate you all so much. No, no. no. no. Leave the juicer. LEAVE THE JUICER, JOE! DON’T YOU DARE TAKE THAT JUICER!
Barack: You sure she’s gonna be okay?
Bill: She’ll be fine, dude. She is, like, exempt from Obamacare and stuff.
Barack: What, dude? Obama what?
Bill: You been shaming-away a lot of stuff, dude. Probably for the best, dude. Probably for the best. Most of America would like to shame it away too, dude. To bad Obamacare doesn’t cover Shame-Away. You should be passing it out like birth control, dude.
I’m watching the original Doctor Who episodes. I forget why, but now that I’ve started, I don’t think I can stop. I’ve now watched six seasons, covering two incarnations of The Doctor. William Hartnell originated the role, but left the series early in Season Four. Patrick Troughton took over the role, and remained through Season Six. He left, and a new actor, Jon Pertwee takes over in Season Seven. More about the Troughton to Pertwee transition in a bit.
The sixth season consisted of 7 serials, composed of 44 episodes. Seven episodes from two of the serials are missing. The other five serials have all their episodes. And, from late Season Six on, there are no more missing episodes. That doesn’t mean they’re all available on home video.
Hulu Plus has a lot of episodes available, including 3 of the 5 complete serials from Season Six. Amazon has only one serial from the season available. YouTube has some official clips, as well as some unofficial uploads of episodes. DailyMotion has them all.
The show speaks against violence while containing much (whole races wiped out). This season, they preached against nuclear power in The Dominators (5 episodes). The race on the planet Dulkis was developing nuclear power, but realized the destructive power of nuclear weapons, so they abandoned it. They also started wearing dresses.
The show does’t say if they abandoned wind power after seeing hurricanes or tornadoes, or hydroelectric power after seeing floods, or solar power after seeing droughts, or cooking with fire after seeing forest fires, or … okay, you get my point. It’s 1968 when the shows aired, and it’s Britain, so we get hippie messages from Doctor Who, and Sean Connery quitting James Bond. I know Connery came back. I’ll see if Doctor Who keeps up all the hippie talk.
The Mind Robbers (5 episodes) is the serial that’s on both Amazon (Prime) and Hulu Plus. Not sure why, but the Hulu version is a better quality picture. It’s also an odd serial for a couple of reasons. First, there’s the odd things going on. Characters from literature are wandering around. Next, there’s the temporary recasting of Jamie. Hamish Wilson took over for two episodes when Frazer Hines was ill. The Doctor solved a puzzle incorrectly and Jamie’s face was changed. A later puzzle put it back. The character of Lemuel Gulliver (yes, from the book) spoke only lines that were from the Jonathan Swift book. The did a good job of working his lines into the plot of the story. They also did a good job of showing off one of Zoe’s other great assets besides her mind.
The episodes of that serial were shorter than normal. From what I’ve read about the serial, they needed to expand it from the original four to five episodes. Rather than write a while new chapter in the middle somewhere, they shifted the scenes around, making five 20-minute episodes rather than four 25-minute episodes. That helped explain how Frazer Hines was able to appear in an episode in which he was too sick to appear. The scene at the beginning was actually the last of the previous episode.
The Invasion (8 episodes, 2 missing animated by BBC) was one of the season’s two battles against previous enemies. The Cybermen, who appear for the third consecutive season, are the villains again. The serial also features Colonel (now Brigadier) Lethbridge-Stewart, who will turn up in later seasons. The animation of the two missing episodes is of better quality than that of The Ice Warriors from Season Five. Speaking of whom, the Ice Warriors made a return appearance in The Seeds of Death (6 episodes).
The Space Pirates (6 episodes, 5 missing) is the last Doctor Who serial with missing episodes. After that serial, all episodes exist.
The final serial, The War Games (10 episodes), was Patrick Troughton’s last during his run as Doctor Who. It also saw the end of the run of Jamie (Frazer Hines) and Zoe (Wendy Padbury), the first time a Doctor and his companions left in the same episode. This is the episode where we first find out about Time Lords. The Doctor, as it turns out, is a Time Lord who ran from his race of people because … he was bored. After calling on the Time Lords to deus ex machina his way out of an impossible situation, they put him on trial — they have been looking for him for … a long time — and sentence him to exile on 20th century Earth with his appearance changed. And he has to forget how to use the TARDIS. They didn’t actually say he would regenerate, just change his appearance. Oh, Jamie and Zoe? They were sent back to where they were when they left with The Doctor.
The sixth season was the last season in black and white. The next season would be in color. Or colour. Since it’s British and all.
After six seasons, I have to say I do like the Doctor Who character. William Hartnell was absolutely awesome as The Doctor. At least, he was to me. Patrick Troughton made the character much less serious, but did, I thought, a very good job transitioning the character. I’m curious as to what Jon Pertwee brought to the role.