Archive for the ‘The Usual Stuff’ Category

Help, Help, I’m Being Repressed!

Friday, December 19, 2014 11:15 am

In an interveiw with People magazine, Obama has shared some of the devastating racism he has experienced in his life.  I got my hands on an advance look at the article, and here are some of the examples of racism he has observed in his life first hand.

  • None of the local butchers sell ground Shi Tzu or his favorite guilty pleasure corn-weiner-dogs.
  • While he was campaigning, a citizen once asked him who his favorite rap artist was.
  • For his own safety, the Secret Service would make him sit in the back of the bus while they threw his former friends and associates under it.
  • Angela Merkel asked him if he new of a good Ethiopian restaurant in DC.
  • His new Wii U didn’t have a default mulatto skin tone built in for his Mii.
  • Harvard admitted him.
  • In his Junior High School presentation of Freaks the Musical, the part of the albino was given to that weird, white kid with the pink eyes instead of him.
  • He was denied admission to Cheyney University because he didn’t meet their purity requirements.
  • Joe Biden keeps confusing him with the help.
  • At a Hollywood fundraiser, he was once mistaken for Jay Pharoah.  The real Jay Pharoah was moonlighting as the valet.
  • It’s okay for Nancy Reagan to consult an astrologist, but if Michelle reads goat entrials just once……
  • The only way to make his black coffee tolerable is to add white powder and white liquid to it.
  • It was unacceptable to fill out his Scantron test sheets using black ink.
  • Robert Byrd never invited him to any of his rallies.
  • When given a choice at school lunch, kids preferntially choose the chocolate milk.
  • He was always picked last for basketball, certainly due to his white ancestry.
  • He often heard his girlfriend make hushed remarks to her friends such as, “Well, THAT stereotype is certainly a myth.”
  • His SAT vocabulary prep book included the word ‘niggardly’, misspelled ‘def’ and had incorrect definitions for ‘stupid’ and ‘bad.’
  • While growing up in Hawaii, he was constantly hassled by the man for smoking doobies while black.
  • Natural dark chocolate just wasn’t good enough.  Europeans had to invent a white variety.
  • His grandmother took him to see Song of the South. He didn’t like it, and he didn’t inhale, though he was seen humming Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah for days.
  • He was required to read Huck Finn in High School English.
  • Sickle cell anemia.

 

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Obama’s Executive Order of the Day

Thursday, December 18, 2014 12:30 pm

Obama made the following proclamation from the green of the 13th hole this morning:

This nation has experienced a severe trauma. I and everyone I know are still reeling from the one-two sucker punch of the Wilson and Garner affairs. I know that I am strong enough to carry on, but I fear that most of the nation is too distraught to make good, wise decisions. Even the elite students at such esteemed universities as Columbia and Harvard are too overwhelmed by the outcomes to carry on with their studies and must have their finals delayed. And this is just schoolwork. What of those of us who must cope with the realities of real life? As I said, I am strong enough to cope, but most I know are not. As chief executive, I feel that it is my duty to ensure that no one makes decisions regarding the future of this great nation if they are not mentally and emotionally whole. We do not want the course of this nation to be altered unnecessarily by these tragedies. We have learned from history how emotions and anger can lead us into unwise paths such as the Iraq and Afghan wars. I cannot allow such wanton decisions to occur in the future. Consequently, by executive order I am hereby delaying all congressional sessions until such time as I feel the Senators and Representatives are of sound mind and body. All future federal elections will be postponed until I deem the American people sufficiently healed from these events to make a wise decision regarding who would be fit to replace me. I will humbly serve as head of the legislative and executive branches until it becomes clear to me that my sacrifice is no longer necessary, no matter how long it may take. So let it be written. So let it be done.

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Competition!

Monday, December 15, 2014 11:00 am

Friend of IMAO Mike Z. Williamson has a new book out — but this time it’s political humor. That means it’s competing against my book. So when you buy it, buy my book too to keep things balanced.

No, wait, buy two copies of mine.

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EconPop – It’s a Wonderful Life

Saturday, December 13, 2014 11:27 am

It’s a new EconPop on It’s a Wonderful Life and banking — and this one I actually participated in making a wee bit.

Know I haven’t been blogging much, but I’ve been working on a lot of cool stuff with Emergent Order and will plenty to show you in the future.

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Once Again Congress Pulled a Boehner

Friday, December 12, 2014 11:45 am

For those of you who think the passage of the Cromnibus Spending Bill is a stab in the back, you probably don’t know the half of it. The enormous bill has lots of other infuriating little goodies tucked away in it. Here are some of the other things hidden in the Cromnibus Bill:

  • For census purposes, Republicans now only count as 2/3 of a person.
  • The CBO will now be required to perform all their budget calculations using Common Core math techniques. All work must be shown.
  • Not that Kind of Girl will now be required reading in Junior High School English courses.
  • In all federal buildings, Republicans will now enjoy separate but unequal facilities.
  • Just to be safe, all Republicans named Barry will be assumed rapists and sentenced accordingly.
  • Just to be extra safe, within 100 miles of all college campuses, all fraternities will be banned, all Greek restaurants will be banned, all math and science books will be edited to remove all Greek letters, and the study of Greek plays or philosophy is right out.
  • In addition to providing funding to pay social security benefits to illegal immigrants, as a matter of reparation for past abuse, rich white folks will be required to clean their houses and mow their lawns.
  • Republicans will be required to curb their carbon emissions by suffocation.
  • The nearest Republican is required to be Obama’s footstool whenever he wants to reach something from the top shelf.
  • On December 16, 2014, the IRS will officially end its auditing of Tea Party members, and the Tea Party members will be bound and hurled into the Boston harbor.
  • Ted Cruz was given the official position of Federal Court Jester.
  • All black conservatives will be required to wear the scarlet letters “T-O-M.”
  • Mount Rushmore and the entirety of the sacred black hills lands along with all extant improvements and resources will be restored to their rightful tribal owner, Elizabeth Warren.
  • Saul Alinsky is granted the posthumous title of St. Saul.
  • Mandatory sterilization for lowlifes and undesirables, colloquially known as ‘bitter-clingers.’
  • Congressional Republicans officially pre-vote ‘Aye’ in support of all Obama’s executive orders.
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Promoted Comment: Emancipated

Wednesday, December 10, 2014 7:00 pm

In the comments to this post, walruskkkch [High Praise!] left this bacon bit:

Lincoln: “John, take a memo. Subject Slavery. Text reads ‘All slaves are now to be considered free.’ Sign it A Lincoln and have it buried with the other Friday news dumps we are doing. I’m off for the golf course.”

See Also: Pelosi – Emancipation Proclamation was an executive order

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Jon Gruber: Under Oath, Under Schmoath

Wednesday, December 10, 2014 12:45 pm

I’ve been watching the Gruber testimony so you don’t have to.  Here are some of the interesting revalations that have come out:

  • Jon Gruber isn’t his real name. The name on his original birth certificate is Jon Goebbels.
  • Michelle also paid him to lie about the benefits of her school lunch program, and she paid him off in Hostess stock.
  • He originally got involved with designing healthcare plans because he was disappointed that MIT’s plan didn’t cover essential services like Viagara and Columbian prostitutes.
  • Much like the case with Elizabeth Warren, he was originally hired at MIT because he claimed to be 1/32 lesbian on his father’s side. His only proof, which was accepted unquestioningly, was his Indigo Girls collection. He had both band members in near mint condition displayed in his cellar.
  • On the weekends and holidays, he routinely entertains himself by pushing the wheelchair bound elderly off cliffs.  He also likes to dress up as a doctor, sneak into an abortion clinic and see how many procedures he can complete before getting caught.  His buddy Gosnell used to get a kick out of it and let him take home trophies.
  • After viewing Michael Moore’s movie about healthcare, he went to Cuba for some elective surgery. The care there was so exceptional, one can barely see the lobotomy scars or the burn scars on his nipples left by the leads from the car battery.
  • Upon close examination, the model he used to predict lower healthcare costs under Obamacare was the same as the model used to generate the global warming hockey stick, only he turned the output upside down.
  • He finally admitted that his favorite film of all time is Logans’ Run, except the ending ruined it.
  • In addition to being obsessed with healthcare, he is also obsessed with finding the perfect recipe for Soylent Green. The files in his office contained his recipes for Soylent White, Soylent Black, Soylent Yellow, Soylent Red, Soylent Swarthy and Soylent Diverse. A note in the margins indicated that Soylent Diverse was best if it contained no White at all.
  • The UN commissioned him to devise a similar healthcare plan to ‘take care’ of Israel.
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Obama’s Executive Order of the Day

Friday, December 5, 2014 11:45 am

President Obama made the following proclomation from the green on the 11th hole this morning:

After a careful reevaluation of the grand jury transcripts of the Wilson case, I have decided that body cameras for police officers will not go far enough to accurately document what occurs in situations such as this. The evidence presented during the grand jury clearly exonerated Officer Wilson, and I am not sure that a body camera mounted on Officer Wilson would have changed that result. This is clearly not acceptable. Eye witness accounts were discredited merely because they contradicted with all of the known physical evidence.  Doesn’t it just feel wrong that all these voices are disenfrachised merely because they ran afoul of reality?  This is just not right.  I think it is important for the victims to have their video voice heard. Consequently, by executive order I will be mandating that officers not be allowed to wear body cameras at all, since any body cameras on ‘the man’ would be inherently racist and unreliable and recording the events from the white perspective, as we have seen with the grand jury evidence. Instead, all black teens or criminals will be required to wear body cameras at all times. I have already contracted with Industrial Light and Magic to handle the editing of all feeds from these cameras, and Harvey Weinstein, Spike Lee and Aaron Sorkin have kindly agreed to oversee the process to ensure that a truthful narrative will always come forward and the problems encountered in Ferguson will be relegated to our authorized history.

All hail me, and long live the narrative.

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Special Needs: A Holocaust

Thursday, December 4, 2014 11:00 am

A non-funny, but important video from Steven Crowder:

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Listen to Frank

Tuesday, December 2, 2014 9:00 am

So, I was all making my triumphant return to blogging this week, but I don’t have like any random thoughts today. None. Here, let me try.

Asparagus.

No, that doesn’t really count as a whole thought.

Anywho, I’m on The Dennis Miller Show today, so make sure to listen to that. Does he find me funny? If so, that’s something I could probably put on my resume.

And, as always, buy my book. And tell everyone about it. And write a review.

Oh, and I guess my novel, Superego, is actually out today for buying as a digital copy. I wasn’t ready to start promoting that yet, but it’s pretty awesome and I think everyone is going to enjoy it. More to come.

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The Benghazi CYA Report

Monday, December 1, 2014 4:15 pm

I’ve gone ahead and read the Benghazi investigation so you don’t have to, and the Executive Summary doesn’t really reflect some interesting findings couched in the body of the report. Here are a few surprises from the report you probably haven’t heard about from the media:

  • The video that caused the spontaneous protest was actually An Inconvenient Truth.
  • The biggest reason the White House/media couldn’t get the proper narrative out was the fact that Ambassador Stevens wasn’t an African American killed by a racist.
  • The primary cause of the intelligence failure was the severe lack of leadership in the administration who possessed any intelligence.
  • Obama mistakenly directed his drone response to Benghazi Road in Auckland New Zealand. He blamed the autofill feature of Google Maps.
  • During the entire duration of the incident, Obama thought he was just participating in his staff’s biweekly Call of Duty tournament. Unless he is lying, he came in eighth place, a personal best.
  • Obama was unable to deal with the situation in real time because he needed a good night’s sleep. He had a 6:30 tee time before his fundraiser.
  • What irked Obama most about the attack was that he had to leave his September 11 party early to deal with it.
  • In a backroom deal, Hillary agreed to receive payola from Morrissey and Johnny Marr each time she said “What difference does it make” during the Congressional hearings.  She would have also received payment for referring to either Obama or Stevens as “The Boy With the Thorn in his Side” or simply saying that “Some Girls are Bigger than Others.”
  • After the third recess during her testimony before the Congressional hearings, Hillary Clinton was capably played by her stunt double, Ginger the trained orangutan.
  • Ambassador Stevens’ requests for additional security were largely ignored because State Department personnel were pretty sure there were no terrorists in Lebanon, New Hampshire named Ben Ghazi.
  • For some reason the report contained a list of names, addresses, social security numbers, bank account numbers and 1040s for all known Tea Party members.
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The Most Trying Time America Has Ever Faced

Friday, November 28, 2014 10:52 am

I have a column in the Washington Times on how this is the most trying time America has ever faced.

We’re like a TV series that’s in its ninth season after peaking way back in Season Five, and we don’t have any good stories left and are just limping along with middling ratings — and the only reason we’re still around is that everything else out there is garbage. Who knows how much longer we can last? We’re running out of money, we’re letting the government bloat and allowing our freedoms to slip away, and eventually we’re just going to collapse. It would be like if Superman easily fights comets and alien menaces and then dies from morbid obesity.

Read. Share. Discuss. Buy my book.

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Things President Obama is Thankful For This Year

Wednesday, November 26, 2014 3:30 pm

President Obama has a lot of things to be thankful for this year.  Here are just a few.

  • He is exempt from ACA.
  • Thanks to the Ferguson riots, he now has a new community to organize.
  • The grim, looming specter of President Biden is still oddly comforting, like a warm, safe security blanket.
  • Thanks to his Hollywood connections, his semi-autobiographical screenplay for The Parent Trap 2* has been green lit.
  • The stupidity of the American journalist.
  • Thanks to the fine print in his executive amnesty, it doesn’t matter anymore that he was born in Kenya.
  • ISIS hasn’t beheaded any African Americans yet, so he didn’t have to fake outrage at them for their racism.
  • Michelle isn’t in charge of the Thanksgiving menu this year.
  • Due to some savvy lawyering, he was permitted to remain alive even though Satan officially took possession of his soul in 2008.
  • His kids don’t have to attend a public school using Common Core.
  • He was told he could be a judge when the War on Women had their bikini carwash fundraiser for the 2016 elections.
  • He’s still popular among African Americans.
  • Frank J has been too busy to mock him for a few weeks.
  • There are plenty of plump, little doggies at the pound.
  • The millions of new Latin citizens are already used to obeying tyrannical dictators posing as Presidents.
  • SCIENCE!**
  • And of course, he is most thankful for President Obama. No matter how bad things seem, just imagine how much worse it would be for him if he were not in charge.

*The twins, played by Lindsay Lohan, meet up in rehab while they are both pregnant and then they work together to reconcile each other to their respective baby-daddies (played by Barack), who happens to be the same man, their pimp/dealer, and who also has no idea there are two of them.

**SCIENCE! is a trademark of the political left and is only recognized as valid if it forwards the progressive agenda. All else is not truly SCIENCE! For further information regarding acceptable SCIENCE! please see theministryoftruth.gov.

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Puzzle

Wednesday, November 26, 2014 10:00 am

I was talking recently to a young man who had never had coffee, and he asked me what it tastes like.

I pondered a moment and told him it tastes like suffering.

But this led me to wonder… how *would* you describe the taste of coffee to someone who’s never had it?

I’m thinking “a mixture of grapefruit juice, leather, and dirt”.

Anyone else wanna take a whack at it, please do so in the comments.

UPDATE: Tangentially related, Sheldon Comics is tackling the topic of coffee right now:

Tuesday

Wednesday

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Back to New Normal

Wednesday, November 26, 2014 9:53 am

I’m finally getting settled in Austin in my new job, so starting next week, I’m going to try to get to regular blog posts again… and not just ones urging you to buy my book (or my next one).

That said, have some of you not bought my book yet? If so, how can you look at your friends and family with the intense shame you have inside? You need to repent by buying lots of copies of my book (it’s the perfect stocking stuffer!).

And here’s me talking to Matt Lewis of the Daily Caller. And next week (December 2nd), I’ll be on Dennis Miller’s radio show (thanks, Harvey). You may know him from playing a radio show host in Joe Dirt. He did such a good job at it, he went on to host a real radio show. Quite a story. Anyway, lucky it’s radio I talk to him on so you can’t see me constantly furrowing my brow at the references he throws at me. That interview is not to be missed.

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Anonymiss and the Other Judge

Tuesday, November 25, 2014 12:31 pm

Anonymiss survived a rough morning in pretty good shape.

Cookies to her:

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Open Thread: Ferguson

Tuesday, November 25, 2014 8:35 am

I don’t want to joke about it yet, because it’s ongoing and a lot of bad things are going to happen before it’s over, but if you’ve got some stuff you want to get off your chest, we can talk about it like grownups in the comments…

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Thanksgiving at the White House

Monday, November 24, 2014 4:30 pm

(Barack, Lois Lerner, Eric Holder, Joe Biden and Jon Gruber are seated around the table)

Michelle: (enters carrying the turkey) And here is the center of the meal, the roast tofurkey. I remember reading of how my ancestors used to hunt the wild tofurkey in the plains of the Serengeti.

Barack: Ingrid and that fake indian lady aren’t with us this year, so you don’t have to pretend the meal is wild and vegan. Michelle: Oh. Great. Forget that then. This is real turkey. You know the one that Barack pardoned yesterday? This is it.

Barack: The turkeys were all slated to go to the homeless shelter, so I selected the tastiest looking one and pardoned it just for us.

Michelle: Why should the homeless people get the best one? They should be grateful to get anything at all, right?

All: Hear, hear.

Joe: A toast! To those of us that aren’t homeless! (He reaches for his glass of milk and knocks it over on the table)

Michelle: Oh, Joe. I told you you weren’t ready for the big boy glasses yet. This is why you still use the sippy cups. Can you hand me over some napkins, please?

Holder: Hey. These napkins have excerpts from the Constitution on them.

Barack: They aren’t excerpts.

Holder: You mean? No!

Barack: Yes.

Holder: You made napkins from the Constitution?

Barack: Yes.

Holder: The real Constitution?

Barack: Yes! That’s the original, baby. It’s not like we need it anymore.  One more barrier I broke through.

Holder: Let’s see what part I have here. All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress….

Barack: No, no, no. Wait a minute. That’s not right. All of Article I was supposed to be made into toilet paper.

Michelle: Ok, that mess is mopped up now.

Barack: Let’s get started then. I’ll say grace. All hail me. And by executive order, none of this food has any calories. Dig in.

Michelle: We have a tradition. We like to have everyone at the table say something they are thankful for.

Joe: Me first. Me first.

Barack: Ok, Joe. What are you thankful for?

Joe: Um, I don’t know. What was the question again?

Michelle: Why don’t you start Lois?

Joe: No, no, no. I’m ready now. I am thankful for my big brain. I invented something that will make me lots of money. You know fruit leather? Why do they only make it out of fruit? Fruit is all girly. We need fruit leather for men. Here. Try these. There is pork fruit leather and buffalo wing fruit leather and omelet fruit leather.

Barack: Omelets aren’t man food.

Joe: Yes they is.

Barack: No they aren’t.

Joe: It’s my invention, so I get to say. Try them. I made them myself. It is really easy. I just left them under my bed until they got soft and them smashed them with a rolling pin and then dried them on the roof. (eating them) Good, huh?

(Collective retching)

Gruber: I am thankful that I did not put any of that in my mouth yet.

Michelle (trying not to retch): And how about you, Lois. What are you thankful for this year?

Lois: I’m thankful for a really talented IT expert.

Holder: Lois, you just have to give the number of your IT guy. No matter how many times I delete that fast and furious stuff, some brainiac is able to recover everything.

Lois: I’ll e-mail you his contact info.

Holder: No. Don’t e-mail it. No trails.

Lois: No worries. He’s got me covered. He’s brilliant. He’s the same guy that hacked Sheryl Attkinsson’s computer.

Gruber: While we are on the topic of IT, that reminds me. It seems we may have been found out a little bit, and the voters aren’t quite as stupid as we had supposed. I have a way to change that. We just need Lois’s IT guy to hack into eharmony, dateaclown.com, farmersonly.com, onceyouhadblack.com.

Joe: LOLcats.com is my favorite.

Barack: He is talking about dating sites, Joe.

Joe: I know that. Honeybunny.com is a good one too if you like furries and stuff. I will hug it and hug it and pet it and pet it and call it George.

Gruber: Geez, you’re as stupid as the voters. And you are getting off topic. I’m not talking about furries…

Holder: We get it. You can’t get a date. No one is stupid enough to go out with you, so you have an algorithm aim all the hotties to your profile. I want in on that action too.

Joe: Me too. George hasn’t moved for days now no matter how much I hug her and pet her.

Gruber: Gads. Am I the only non-stupid person here? This isn’t about getting me dates.

Holder: Oh come on. Do you really expect us to believe that? How long have we all known each other? Decades? Does anyone remember him having a date in that entire time?

(All mumble and shake their heads)

Holder: You really expect us to believe that this isn’t some elaborate scheme just to finally lose your virginity?

Gruber: Gads! How many times do I have to tell you guys I’m not a virgin!

Joe: Farm animals don’t count, you know. The website says so.

Gruber: AAAAAAH! This is not about getting me dates. This is about making more stupid people.

Barack: A girl would have to be pretty stupid to date you. You sure that isn’t really what is going on here? Sounds to me like you are covering something up. Sounds like the lies you told me about MeCare.

Gruber: Ok, just listen to me for a minute, OK, without interrupting me. I read last week that over 1/3 of all marriages last year were the result of online dating websites. People like them. They trust them. We need to control the websites so we can control who meets up and who breeds. We need to breed more stupidity into the American population so we can snow them more easily.

Barack: And get you more dates.

Gruber: No, that has nothing to do with it.

Barack: It’s ok. You can admit it to us. We won’t tell the public about it.

Gruber: No, you can’t tell the public anything about this. You can’t let them know we are breeding them to be sheep.

Joe: Breeding with sheep doesn’t work. I already tried that. No wooly babies.

Gruber: Try and see what I am saying here. We hack into the websites and insert this algorithm I wrote that controls who gets matched up. We use the dating websites so that Republicans and smart people don’t get paired up with anyone. Only Democrats and stupid people get smiles and winks and messages or whatever. We are effectively sterilizing those who oppose us.

Joe: Yea! I get lots of dates now.

Barack: Oh, oh, oh. I see. But I can do you one better. We don’t pair up the smart people and Republicans with nobody. We pair them up with psycho killers. After one date, bam, they’re a statistic, an ex-voter. And we all know who the dead vote for.

Holder: It’ll never work. No one wants to date a psycho killer. When their interests include making a human skin suit from my ex-girlfriends, they’ll never meet up.

Barack: Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. Even Gruber isn’t that desperate.

Gruber: Hey!

Michelle (laughing suddenly): Oh wait. You remember that prank Nancy played on Gruber?

Gruber: We were supposed to never speak of that.

Michelle: No, no, wait. It’s relevant. We have to. She made that fake profile for Ashley Madison with a photo she scanned of that hot blonde that came in her picture frame. And then she used it to flirt with Gruber until he fell in love with her and just had to meet her.

Barack: Oh yeah. I remember that. Gruber even made that little Ashley doll out of playdoh and smooched it when he thought we couldn’t see him.

Gruber: Hey, if the real Ashley kissed half as well as that doll….

Michelle: And then when they arranged to have a real life date, Nancy dropped off that pig with lipstick at the restaurant with the Ashley name tag.

Barack: Ha ha ha ha. We totally need to pull that video after the pie. Your expression was priceless, Gruby. It’s a good thing MeCare covers your mental health issues.

Michelle: Because he sure doesn’t need the birth control coverage.

Joe: Burn!

Michelle: And I can’t believe you tried to take the pig home with you.

Gruber: Shut up, guys. I was gonna slaughter it for bacon.

Barack: And the pig refused to go with you.

Gruber: I said shut up, guys.

Michelle: No means no. But the reason I was bringing this up is we can do the same thing here. We set up fake profiles with hotties and then when date time shows up, send in Hannibal the Cannibal or whoever. Even if they escape from him, they’ll be too traumatized to date again, let alone reproduce. Lois, you gotta get your IT guy in on this.

Lois: I’ll give him a call. I like this plan way better than auditing them anyway. I can torture them for real before I off them. Can you set me up with Ted Cruz first? I like eating Mexican. How long do you figure it will take to get this up and running? And how many do you calculate we can ‘permanently audit’ in the first year.

Gruber: Oh, I don’t know. I can’t do math in my head.

Lois: Here’s a paper and pen.

Gruber: I can’t do math on paper.

Lois: Here, use my laptop.

Gruber: I can’t do math with a computer.

Barack: Who cares? We can make up the numbers later. If they don’t add up, I can executive order them into submission. It’s good to be the king. Football time!

Joe: Can we watch the Redskins? Please. They’re the home team.

Barack: I can’t believe you said that, Joe. You are such a racist. We’re gonna watch the Vikings versus the Cowboys. Hmmmmm. I wonder if I could use an executive order to force the Redskins to change their name. I could get behind calling them the Washington Crackers. No. I’ve got it. The Washington Rednecks. Go get me a pen and some paper Joe. Emperor Obama has a proclamation to write.

 

 

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I Never Noticed the Star Wars/Harry Potter Connection Before

Sunday, November 23, 2014 10:00 pm


[Studio C – Teddy’s Story Joint] (Viewer #239,178)

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Weekend Reading, Listening, Activity

Saturday, November 22, 2014 1:48 pm

So what’s the second greatest country in the world? Go to my PJ Media column to find why it would be scary if we ever had to care.

And you can go here to listen to me on On the Money with Charles Ortel.

And if you still need more to do, make sure to write up an online review of my hilarious new book. If you read it and tell me to my face you’ve ever read a funnier book, I’ll strangle you for being a liar.

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