Blog War Update

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I’ve added more Alliance members to the list on my sidebar. There is still time to join us by e-mailing me with the subject “WAR!!!”.
The poll is up for sexiest female blogger. Go and vote for Annika, as she deserves to win because of her rousing speech about the Alliance (and because she is sexy). It is important that an Alliance member wins.
The Emperor has incontrovertible proof that the Enemy is behind the power outage. We declare war, and he knocks out the power grid; It will take more than that to intimidate us!
I think I’m just going to just call us the “Blogging Alliance” or “the Alliance” for short. All your ideas were stupid. Sorry. Anyway, we need a banner! Anyone artistic out there?
Jennifer, enemy of the Alliance and thus slave to the Enemy, sent me these ridiculous terms of surrender:
1. We get permalinks with the grownups. Yes, the same list Rachel Lucas is on. There are no qualifiers attached to our links.
2. You surrender all bananas to the Axis.
3. You publicly apologize for mocking me, your loyal reader. You remove your poll about me. You publicly admit I do not smell like a monkey.
4. You will post no less than 250 words on the following subject: “Why Frank J. is not worthy of Susie’s adoration.”
Here is my response:
1. That is way too much to ask. You lost the competition; live with it.
2. I have no bananas.
3. This I will negotiate.
4. Bah! Completely non-negotiable. I am completely worthy of Susie’s adoration.
Here are my terms:
Join me now, and I will erase the poll about Jennifer, add the names of Jennifer and her compatriots to my list, and the hatchet will be buried. Otherwise, you will all be destroyed.
Okay, everyone, time to plot attacks against the Enemy and think of ways to gain media attention.
Instapundo Delenda Est!
UPDATE: White Glenn strikes back! Treachery!!!
UPDATE II: Speaking of the Empire striking back… (hey, I look good in black. Maybe I should be voted the sexiest male blogger).

No Comments

  7. No! This war must be stopped! Don’t you know that the world could very well be destroyed as you battle? The forces you unleash could result in a fiery cataclysm that would spell the doom of us all.
    ‘Course, on the other hand, I’ve gotta admit that would be pretty cool. Never mind.

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  8. While Annika IS dreadfully sexy, I find it odd Frank, that you are totally mute on the topic of Rachel Lucas. She’s a candidate as well, you know. We all know of your not-so-secret crush on Rachel, and that she was a direct influence upon you beginning IMAO. I find it interesting that you seem to have completly written her off. As for me I’m happy to report that I have voted TWICE: once for each of them. I cannot possibly make up MY mind, Frank. So how about you?

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  10. I’m conflicted about which side to support. Although I’ve gotten a lot of useful information from Frank J.’s “Know Thy Enemy” category, I was once saved by a ninja and his pet monkey from a violently attacking puppy…

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  11. War is Heck

    The ranks swell in opposition to the hobo-murderer, and FrankJ leads the way. Sure, sure, the vile Reynolds has about 10,000 times the readership, but we have… we have… well, something. I’m sure I can put either my military experience…

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  13. The Stand

    Having secured yet another great victory for the forces of truth, justice, and freedom; it is worth examining the enemy camp in dissary… These two bulwarks of the blogosphere (Misha and Frank) are claiming the moral high ground in this…

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  14. The Stand

    Having secured yet another great victory for the forces of truth, justice, and freedom; it is worth examining the enemy camp in dissary… These two bulwarks of the blogosphere (Misha and Frank) are claiming the moral high ground in this…

    Reply to this comment

  15. erm..I believe that in your youth your memory got confused Joel…Monkeys are bad(kill them) Puppies good (blend them)…Ninjas are a figment of Frank’s image… yikes! damn that hurt! watch out for them damn ninnys..erm ninjas!

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  16. Rachel is the sexiest woman on the earth.. Frank, have you lost ur mind? Give her a break..she’s been a bit busy moving and all…
    and poor Sunny seems to be lacking Grackles to chomp…poor doggie 🙁

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  17. Time to choose

    FrankJ has declared war on the mighty Instapundit. There has been a call to choose sides. So here we go: While neither of these gentlemen have deigned to add me to their blogroll, at least FrankJ has had the good…

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  19. A War Primer

    The incrediblely brave (and sexy) Frank J has taken it upon himself to lead a small, rag-tag band of bloggers in resistance against the Mighty and Evil PuppyBlender. He has asked for a blog to volunteer as Command Headquarters, hence

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  22. Though no hostile action has yet to be declared against us.
    I would hereby wish to announce France’s terms of surrender to your coalition.
    The terms of this surrender are as follows:

    • The Blogging Alliance can lay claim to any and all blogs orignating in France.
    • If you refer to a Frenchman as a “frog” he must respond with “ribbit”.

    The conditions of this surrender are as follows:

    • You must not initiate any action agains Instapundit without prior unanimous approval of the U.N.
    • You must remove any and all references to weapons of any sort from your website.

    I am sure that you will find these terms adequate and fair.
    Thank you for your time.

    Reply to this comment

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