Links of the Day

The Demoncrat was very popular, so it’s going to be hard to top with Kill Bill The Demoncrat – Volume 2, but I’ll try. I just finished writing it and will proof and post it tomorrow morning. I got a great idea (actually, a rehash of an old one) for Thursday where I’ll try and top both of those together.
Well, coming up with ideas is fun, but writing is a bitch. I guess the weekend is for free time (which I plan to spend finishing up the editing of my novel).
Enough about me… on to the links!
I forgot yesterday to link to John Hawkins list of things he hates other conservative websites to do. It’s all obviously aimed at me.
A new blog has started up to chronicle the adventures of an American having a semester in France. Hopefully hilarity will ensue. Maybe we can make request of things we want him to tell French people and then record the reaction.
Someone has been signing me up to left-wing organizations. I got an invitation to join Poets Against the War. The war is over, dumbasses!
Whoops, that should be in the form of a poem:

The war is over, dumasses.
Get back to your pottery classes.

And then I got this from the DNC:

Dear Frank J,
Recently, newspapers from all over the country received letters from U.S. soldiers stationed in Kirkuk, Iraq, describing their efforts in that region. Many of the papers printed those letters under the assumption that they were original letters written by the soldiers who signed them.
But they weren’t. In fact, all the letters were identical except for the signatures.
As the Olympia, Washington Olympian reported, the letters were the same right down to the typing. The Olympian even received two of the letters signed by different hometown soldiers.
The Bush administration doesn’t trust soldiers to write genuine letters to the editor, and it doesn’t care what the men and women of our armed forces or their families really have to say about the situation in Iraq. Just as when President Bush put on a Navy flight suit as though it were a costume, he is again using our men and women in uniform as a prop as part of an extended public relations campaign.
We want to know what members of our military and their families really think about what’s going on in Iraq — good or bad. Click here to send us your story about what you or your family member is facing in Iraq.

They’re stealing my idea! Dem bastards!
David Kaspar reports on how Germans are poisoning the minds of children against America (he also writes in German if you don’t understand English such as what you are reading right now).
Well, I’m going to watch the baseball game and get to writing Thursday’s post while the ideas are still fresh. I’m rooting for Chicago because the Marlins used to do spring season training in Brevard county but moved and thus we’re now stuck with a Canadian team.

Frank Answers: Vote for Principle or Ah-nuld, Will Frank Move to Australia, and People are People

Pam from Cahleeforneeyah writes:
Now that Ahnuld has been elected the new govenah of Cahleeforneeyah, I’d like to know how you would have voted were you in my shoes. I’m of the 13% voters who believed McClintock was the better candidate but voted for Ahnuld as I couldn’t bear the thought of Tattoo (Bustamante) running Fantasy Island. Did I wuss out, Frank? Should I have stuck with my convictions irrespective of the outcome? This keeps me up at night. Thanks for a reply.
Pam, you did the right thing. While principle are fun and all, you can’t hold them above partisan gain. The fact was that Arnold had an ‘R’ next to his name and McClintock didn’t have a chance of winning while Bustamante (the scarlet ‘D’ next to his name) did. Throwing away one’s vote on political principle should be left to those wacky liberals, while we, the conservatives, must be more rational about things and vote for Austrian movie stars with a poor grasp of English.
Jez from Brisbane, Australia writes:
Frank, have you ever considered moving to Australia?, with talent like yours you could be a Big fish in our small pond, as long as you don’t mind Steve Irwin of course he is one of our icons! lol.
Crikey! I’d be too afraid of the crocs biting me. All have to contend with here in Florida are the friendly gators. While I do like Australia, and definitely would like to visit someday, I’m too much of an uber-patriot to ever move permanently from the States.
James from Ontario asks:
Does “Depeche Mode” count as a French product for boycott purposes?
Umm… sure, why not.
Wait, were people even buying their albums in the first place?


Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.

Bite-Sized Wisdom: Monkey Controlled Robots, Official Announcements, Angering Gun Owners, Israel Showing Us Up, and Gore News Channel (Not Liberal)

  • Some damn fool scientists have taught monkeys to control robots with their brains! Chamber a round in your shotgun and do it now!
    I am not being alarmist.
    The scientists are even talking about making it so that the monkeys can control the robots wirelessly. Soon, the monkeys will climb up into trees where we can’t get them while they use their telepathic powers to control robots to murder and enslave us. We need to get these scientists a grant to study the flow of ketchup from a bottle in high altitude conditions… research much less likely to lead to the end of mankind.
  • This “When you think monkeys, think Frank” thing has gone a little too far. Not only did I get a record number of e-mails about the previous story, but my dad called me last night to ask if I heard about it. I blame the monkeys! I hate them so!
  • Wacky little Kucinich has made his presidential bid official. I know; whoop-dee-freak’n doo. What is this with like campaigning for a year and then officially announcing a bid? When I first heard this yesterday morning that Dennis Cuckoo had an announcement, I was like, “Oh no! He’s dropping out and I need him for my In My World™ tomorrow!” but it ended up instead it was this non-announcement. No one cares. Shut up.
  • I want to take this time to officially announce I have a blog named IMAO. Someone please send the press release to the major media… or at least Instapundit.
    No, I’m kidding. Don’t spam Glenn Reynolds.
    Then again, it would be funny…
  • I’m getting bored of this stupid Democrat presidential primary race. I want to know who to focus my angry, partisan energies on. “Kill! Kill!” the voices tell me.
  • For yet another day, France goes unbombed, and baby Jesus cries.
  • They say there is hardly a peep about gun control from the Democrats. I guess they’re finally learning that it’s not smart to tick off people who own guns and no how to use them.
  • Then again, they plan to bring up the “assault weapon” ban next year which makes illegal any gun that is cool looking or has a cool name. Time to mobilize the Association of Angry Gun Owners (motto: “We’re angry and we have guns.”).
  • The buzz is we’ve recently spotted Saddam. I hope we get him so we can be like, “Yeah, that’s right; we got Saddam. In your face, space coyote!”
    “What about the WMD’s?”
    “The what now?”
  • The Chi-Coms aren’t going to broadcast live their space flight? What are they hiding? Something’s rotten in Denmark, and I say we shoot those Commies down. That might cause an international incident, but we’re kinda used to those by now.
  • So are we going to beat the crap out of Syria, or are we just going to let Israel do it?
  • Israel is also going to bomb Iran. I didn’t know there was a race to beat the crap out of terrorist states. We need to get back on the ball before Israel shows us up.
  • Proper bicycle safety says, that, when crossing an intersection, first keep an eye out for a former Miss America.
  • Also, on topic of Iraq… Ahh! Robo-monkey!
  • No, it was just a chair. That whole story about monkeys controlling robots with their minds sure has me spooked. When do we get our mind controlled robots? Or will they only sell them to certified mad scientists?
  • Islamic nations feel that their survival is threatened by the U.S. And some of you people thought those guys weren’t rational. You nutty despots; of course we’re threatening your survival. First Iraq, then Syria, then Iran, then Denmark, then the rest of you. And there is nothing you or Allah can do about it. Modernization is coming, either with you accepting democratic reforms or at the tip of a cruise missile, biatch.
  • Al Gore is hoping is new news station will be able to avoid the label of “liberal” and attract a younger, hipper audience. I have a slogan for it too: “The Hindenburgh of News Stations”.
  • On a serious note, I want to express my sympathies for the families of the troops who have died in Iraq. Those people have not only made the ultimate sacrifice for the country, but also in defense of the Iraqi people. To those who would use their death as propaganda against what they fight for, I warn that a big ass whup’n is waiting for you, either in this life or the next.